Posts by 20mel11

20mel11

Nov 29, 2010

Writing Feedback / Déjŕ vu, I did it in reality - boyfriend essay story [5]

What's the prompt for this essay??

Well I thought it was an interesting read.
But, I don't know if it is appropriate for a college application..
I remember reading an article on what topics to avoid while writing a college application, and among the usual drugs, alcohol, and "the reason I went to jail..."-type essays were the "boyfriend" essays. I'm sure there are more important qualities about you that you can convey, other than how you dealt with a breakup. Remember, in high school, LOTS of girls/boys deal with bad relationships. Do you really want to make this the main focus of your essay? Do you have any passions? Outstanding qualities?

20mel11

Nov 29, 2010

Undergraduate / "a household name in my family" -Why are you interested in The Ohio State University? [5]

Hi :)
I'm applying to The Ohio State University as well.
I like your essay! The only problem is you can easily substitute in another school... You are being a little too general when talking about your architectural ambitions. What particular program at Ohio State interests you?

If it helps, go to their website and browse through their Architecture department and see if you can find any unique classes or programs that makes it unique and sets it apart from all other Architecture programs in other colleges. That's what I did :)

Good luck!!!!

PS. "Ohio State's School of Architecture provides exactly what I need to make that a reality"

What exactly does Ohio State provide??

I hope it's not "Working in a studio designing projects" because any school can offer that...

20mel11

Nov 22, 2010

Undergraduate / "the young kids in Elementary" - COMMON APP- Extracurricular Activity Student Gov't [3]

thank you :)

20mel11

Nov 22, 2010

Undergraduate / "the young kids in Elementary" - COMMON APP- Extracurricular Activity Student Gov't [3]

Helloooo! So here's my short answer to the Common App's question regarding extracurriculars (elaborate on one of your extracurriculars in 150 words or less)

Do you think this is good? Can you get an idea of who I am and what my responsibilities consist of? I'm only focusing on one responsibility (since I don't have enough room to elaborate on more). Suggestions/comments/ideas/editing welcomed thank you!

Every morning starts the same way. As soon as I arrive to school, I make my way down to the Third Grade classroom. My eyes meet with twenty pairs of eager eyes and I am soon embraced by little arms. As School President, I am expected to be a role model around the school and especially to the young kids in Elementary. These children remind me of myself twelve years ago-it is hard to believe I was once their age, looking up to someone similar to the person I have become. Their enthusiasm serves as a constant reminder for me to always perform to the fullest of my potential and to not only be an exemplar, but to be a willing friend to the community.