Posts by BevBev

BevBev

Nov 6, 2010

Undergraduate / "Just One Guitar" - Common App essay and short answer response. [4]

Very good, Very engaging.

Only real problem I saw was the lack of commas in appropriate places. Look over the first paragraph of the essay again to try and fix that.

Its usually good to write out numbers in academic writing. So, Two-Hundred dollars instead of $200

I really loved the short answer. As a Cross Country runner I really think you described it very well.

BevBev

Nov 6, 2010

Research Papers / Motorcycle helmets should be mandatory for all riders - research thesis statement [4]

I'm writing a research paper for my English 101 class and I'm having trouble deciding whether or not this is a good thesis.

Here is my actual thesis statement: Motorcycle helmets should be mandatory for all riders.

I want to know if putting it into a my intro. paragraph like this will be OK. Here's what I was considering: Motorcycles are probably the most dangerous form of transportation. It only makes sense that helmets should be required for all riders and passengers on motorcycles.

Or should it be more direct?

Please help! Thanks!