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Posts by amazingA
Joined: Nov 8, 2010
Last Post: Jan 5, 2011
Threads: 8
Posts: 35  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 43 / page 2 of 2
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amazingA   
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "I am a novice to this country" - VCU Essay.... what is unique about me [6]

Discuss one thing about you that is unique and that has not been addressed anywhere else on the application

I am a novice, to this country and to my life. I migrated from India in the ninth grade of my high school and I have been away from my parents since then.

Yes, I am an adolescent, living thousands of miles away from my family, my well-wishers, my life. In this country of English speakers, I was only another short and stout immigrant looking to blend in the melting pot to enrich his life. When I moved to America, I had nothing more than a suitcase full of clothes and a little knowledge of broken English sentences. However, I carried with me the deepest desire to succeed, the killer instinct to overcome all burdens that immigration might bring. I depend on my hard work and my workers ethic to overcome my limitations, limitations brought by the lack of the presence of my family. The inability to warn a person about the future is further accentuated to a child without his parents: he has no one to warn him about what is to come in the future, neither does he have anyone to tell him on how to act when problems arise. I propose solutions to my problems, apply them, and if I fail I again resort to continue my struggle to overcome them.

I do not complain, however, about my state because I respect my decisions and the decisions of my parents. I am unique because I am aware of my limitations as a youngster without his parents and I am able to work through this problem. This is what makes me a special.
amazingA   
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "I wanted to help others" - show not tell, The Ohio State University Admissions Essay [4]

being that english is my second language, i cannot provide much feedback on your grammar. But i think your point of argument is excellent. However, it is almost cliched to say that you wanted to help people. as true as it might be, please try something else because lots of other college applicants would write the same thing about how their lives were changed in one day and how they wanted to help people from their newly found wisdom. The rest of the essay is very good. i think you know what you are writing and best of all, i could tell why you wanted to go to ohio...good job..just improve on that one thing and your all set

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