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"I am a novice to this country" - VCU Essay.... what is unique about me


amazingA 8 / 35  
Nov 9, 2010   #1
Discuss one thing about you that is unique and that has not been addressed anywhere else on the application

I am a novice, to this country and to my life. I migrated from India in the ninth grade of my high school and I have been away from my parents since then.

Yes, I am an adolescent, living thousands of miles away from my family, my well-wishers, my life. In this country of English speakers, I was only another short and stout immigrant looking to blend in the melting pot to enrich his life. When I moved to America, I had nothing more than a suitcase full of clothes and a little knowledge of broken English sentences. However, I carried with me the deepest desire to succeed, the killer instinct to overcome all burdens that immigration might bring. I depend on my hard work and my workers ethic to overcome my limitations, limitations brought by the lack of the presence of my family. The inability to warn a person about the future is further accentuated to a child without his parents: he has no one to warn him about what is to come in the future, neither does he have anyone to tell him on how to act when problems arise. I propose solutions to my problems, apply them, and if I fail I again resort to continue my struggle to overcome them.

I do not complain, however, about my state because I respect my decisions and the decisions of my parents. I am unique because I am aware of my limitations as a youngster without his parents and I am able to work through this problem. This is what makes me a special.
collegebound28 13 / 22  
Nov 9, 2010   #2
Oh My! Love the topic! The topic is so unique that with with some polishing this essay will definantly catch an admissions officers eye. There are a few grammatical errors. Instead of saying "and a little knowledge of broken English sentences" why not say- speaking only broken English- instead of saying youngster why not say young person or young adult?
OP amazingA 8 / 35  
Nov 9, 2010   #3
Thanks collegebound..anyone else with any suggestions? I really need some more suggestions before i send in my app
mikethebunny - / 9  
Nov 9, 2010   #4
Show your readers of what you're capable of doing and your aspirations. Don't just show readers your obstacles but how you overcame them and how you intend of prospering through life.
OP amazingA 8 / 35  
Nov 9, 2010   #5
see i tried to do that but i did not know how that would show that i am unique
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 18, 2010   #6
Use a comma here:
I migrated from India in the ninth grade of my high school, and I have been away from my parents since then.

I propose solutions to my problems, apply them, and -- if I fail I again -- propose new solutions and resort to continue my struggle. to overcome them.

Ha ha, I think it is great, but I disagree about what makes you special. Your talent for writing makes you special! Anyone who reads this will like you and want you to succeed.


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