Undergraduate / "My idolization of Batman" - Fictional characters that influenced you Common App [6]

This is my essay for the common application is response to prompt #4: Talk about a fictional characters influence on you.
I'm looking for how I can improve in any way, in particular I'm concerned about my conclusion, which I'm afraid might seem too cliche. Any help is appreciated.

My initial idolization of Batman was derived from the purest of motivations: admiration of Karate skills. Its true, in my youth the reason I found Batman so enthralling was his incredible skill at unarmed combat and his raw ability to be physically heroic. Somewhere in my young mind I registered that I admired his courage and persistence too, but these were secondary in my mind and I was much too busy zooming around the living room clumsily karate chopping furniture to lend it too much thought.

However, contrary to all natural and expected tendencies my admiration for Batman has only increased with age and maturity. Thankfully though, my reasons for this admiration have evolved beyond Batman's martial skill.

Batman is, in my mind, a personification of restraint and principle. Throughout his 50 year run as a character he has never killed one of his enemies. We see him struggle with the decision to kill his defeated foes issue after issue, always considering the fact that killing the Joker might save hundreds of lives. We see him shake with rage and scream his desire to end his most hated antagonist's life, but we never see him act on it.

And many people consider this far from a good thing. I remember watching Batman cartoons with my brother and his friends and having them constantly (and bizarrely frantically) question and mock Batman's decision to leave the Joker alive. They chalked it up to stupidity and blind stubbornness, and may people still attribute it to that.

But possible ramifications aside there's no denying that the idea of absolute principles - the idea we draw lines for ourselves which we will never cross- has had a profound effect on me. Batman is human, he struggles with emotions and compulsions and pressures just like anyone, and his ability to control and check these powers is what makes him a hero, not his karate or training.

Because despite what I've learned in 4th grade assemblies and scattered presentations from volunteer groups and teachers, virtue isn't about compassion, charity, or bravery, it's about restraint. Virtue is the ability to take the impulses we feel that push us to hurt, or run, or to lose control and deny them. It's the ability to say "no" to the darkness that lives and crawls and bubbles forth from inside of us; to master ourselves and rid ourselves of doubt, fear and hate. Nobility demonstrated without this basic capacity is hollow. Acting without fear is brashness, not courage. Living without anger isn't peace, its apathy. And temperance without greed is indifference.

This restraint and principle is always with me. I try to stick to my principles, I do not break the rules of behavior I have set for myself and I do not intend to. As odd as it sounds, in this way Batman's always with me. I feel his shadowy image in my mind every time I reject drugs, or every time I overcome the momentary desire to simply walk into a movie instead of paying. He's there to help me resist sudden moments of curiosity and weakness, to help me push away my greed or lust, and to help me relax in moments of sudden anger or offense. He's my rodent-garbed guardian, and I couldn't ask to be in better hands.

Some people tell me I'm crazy trying to live up to a standard of behavior in the vein of a fictional super-hero. The phrase that is always inevitably thrown out is, "you're only human." I hate this; it's the idea that humans are bound to their flaws and follies, that they are inescapable. It may be almost impossible to live a life free of mistakes, but is it wrong to try? There is no real reason why human beings capacity for good is any less than their infinite capacity for evil. We are creatures of complete duality, angels and demons, saints and sinners, super-heroes and villains. And our alignment is a choice which requires only firm commitment and belief.

And so I strive and do my best to live to his example, to try to live a life free of mistakes and moral regrets. This is made possible with the most powerful of tools: human commitment born not from a mandate or desire to impress, but from an intrinsic and deep sense of who I am, who I want to be, and perhaps most importantly, who I may become if I'm not careful.

I believe in integrity, I believe in my ability to do good, I believe in humanities strength and our ability to rise above our worst enemy, ourselves, and become something more.

And, most of all, I believe in Batman.

Undergraduate / Doubt and Consequence: Common Application Essay - Another prompt of your choosing [7]

This is the essay I'm considering using for my Common Application submission under the prompt #6: Another prompt of your choosing. I'm sure I have a few grammar errors in there and feedback on that front is always very appreciated. I'd also like feedback on what to cut out, (I feel it needs to be shorter) and general critiques of the quality.

Thank you!

There is nothing in this world as internally exhausting as doubt of oneself.
Doubt can grow it worms its way much deeper inside us; it often grows to characterize our actions as every gesture and thought becomes poisoned by the monster living in our heart.

My experience with doubt cannot be easily grouped into one story or memory, for I've skirmished with it many times over the years, each of us taking to our trenches and trading shots until, inevitably, I drive him away from the mental battleground for a few weeks. But he returns. Usually in the wake of an essay I didn't do well on or an inability to put words down on a page at home. These are small occurrences, and the practical and reasonable part of me calls out, saying that I shouldn't despair, but the deeper emotional part is plagued by the horrible: doubt.

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