Posts by Stridercoo

Stridercoo

Nov 24, 2010

Writing Feedback / Getting message from different news resources to understand events under more objective perspective. [10]

Hi PaulLee,

I just find out you post several almost the same replies to others. All of them are talking about a friend of your received 26 score in IBT .

Stridercoo

Nov 24, 2010

Writing Feedback / Getting message from different news resources to understand events under more objective perspective. [10]

Rewrite my introduction.
After internet has become available to all over the world, people are capable to access to various information from different regions and fields. Many have concerned that modern citizens would be overwhelmed by the ocean of information. Meanwhile, people hold opposite opinion cite that getting message from different news resources would help people to understand events under more objective perspective. As far as I concerned, I agree to the latter statement for following reasons.

-After internet has become available to all over the world, citizens are often overwhelmed by the ocean of information. I consider it as a good sign. This is because different news resources would help people to understand events under more objective perspective.

Stridercoo

Nov 24, 2010

Writing Feedback / It's neither possible nor desirable to do the same job throughout work lives - IELTS [4]

I like it, but it could be stronger.

Nowadays it is unlikely for plain folks to endure forever the first job and broadly during their working lives.I totally agree with this statement for various reasons.

-Statistic shows the median years a person stays in one job is 4.1 years(2008). In other words, an average person will have to have 7-10 different jobs in their life time. So for most employees, it is unlikely to endure forever the first job during their working lives.

Moreover, nowadays the employment contracts are generally in short-term.
-Moreover, employers hope to leave the door open for new more desirable workers. Nowadays the employment contracts are generally in short-term.

On the other hand I think that when someone find a jobs with a long-term contract and today it is an utopia, hopefully it will be for the whole life.

-This paragraph doesn't make sense.
-You'd better give a supporting idea in the first sentence, then explain the state by giving examples or providing specific reasons.

They are my advice. But, please remember they're just the suggestions, if you don't like them you may ignore them. Good Luck to your test:)

Stridercoo

Nov 19, 2010

Writing Feedback / Getting message from different news resources to understand events under more objective perspective. [10]

Hi Huyen, thank you. They are truly helpful. I will remember them:)

You're very nice. Best Wishes!

Stridercoo

Nov 18, 2010

Writing Feedback / Getting message from different news resources to understand events under more objective perspective. [10]

Could anyone kindly help me edit my essay?

Topic : Do you agree following statement: "For becoming well-informed, people have to review different news resources."

After internet has become available to all over the world, people are capable to access to various information from different regions and fields. Many have concerned that modern citizens would be overwhelmed by the ocean of information. Meanwhile, people hold opposite opinion cite that getting message from different news resources would help people to understand events under more objective perspective. As far as I concerned, I agree to the latter statement for following reasons.

Most of time, readers have to get the messages from different areas for fully grasping the events. Nowadays, many media present news in the perspective of one specific field, such as economy, biology, finance etc. People could be half informed if they only read one newspaper. For instance, when scientists invent a new electronic device, The Economist may public an article to discuss about its influence on international trade. While, other media, such as Biology Magazine, may question about its negative effect on human health. People need to collect all of info from different expert for fully understanding the new device.

In face, sometimes collecting information from range of areas is not even enough. Occasionally, it is necessary to listen to ideas from two opposite views. Take the Senkaku island event in July 2010 as an example. After Chinese fishermen were captured by Japanese authority in the disputed island, Senkaku, both local media started to defend their own countries efficiently. If a person only reads news report from one side, it is highly possible that he/she will be misled. In such extent, people who want to know the fact will benefit from listening to the argument from both sides or even the third media.

In conclusion, I believe people will be well-informed if they get information from different news resources. Although most of media report events from their narrow perspective, but people could receive more objective views by collecting different type of news.