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Getting message from different news resources to understand events under more objective perspective.


Stridercoo 1 / 4  
Nov 18, 2010   #1
Could anyone kindly help me edit my essay?

Topic : Do you agree following statement: "For becoming well-informed, people have to review different news resources."

After internet has become available to all over the world, people are capable to access to various information from different regions and fields. Many have concerned that modern citizens would be overwhelmed by the ocean of information. Meanwhile, people hold opposite opinion cite that getting message from different news resources would help people to understand events under more objective perspective. As far as I concerned, I agree to the latter statement for following reasons.

Most of time, readers have to get the messages from different areas for fully grasping the events. Nowadays, many media present news in the perspective of one specific field, such as economy, biology, finance etc. People could be half informed if they only read one newspaper. For instance, when scientists invent a new electronic device, The Economist may public an article to discuss about its influence on international trade. While, other media, such as Biology Magazine, may question about its negative effect on human health. People need to collect all of info from different expert for fully understanding the new device.

In face, sometimes collecting information from range of areas is not even enough. Occasionally, it is necessary to listen to ideas from two opposite views. Take the Senkaku island event in July 2010 as an example. After Chinese fishermen were captured by Japanese authority in the disputed island, Senkaku, both local media started to defend their own countries efficiently. If a person only reads news report from one side, it is highly possible that he/she will be misled. In such extent, people who want to know the fact will benefit from listening to the argument from both sides or even the third media.

In conclusion, I believe people will be well-informed if they get information from different news resources. Although most of media report events from their narrow perspective, but people could receive more objective views by collecting different type of news.

zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 18, 2010   #2
Hi Chong, here are some of my ideas. I hope that it would help:

- people are capable of accessing / able to access to various information

- Meanwhile, other people hold opposite opinion which cites

- from different experts

- In fact , not "face"

- We can take the Senkaku island event in July 2010 as an example -> You'd better write a full sentence.

I hope these comments would help you somehow!

Good luck!
OP Stridercoo 1 / 4  
Nov 19, 2010   #3
Hi Huyen, thank you. They are truly helpful. I will remember them:)

You're very nice. Best Wishes!
zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 19, 2010   #4
Ah, one more advice for the Toefl IBT test! :D According to my experience, the longer the essay, the higher the score you can get! :d And if you can, try to write the common introduction and conclusion for the Writing Independent Task. It will help you to save your time for the body paragraphs! :D

Good luck with your test! :d
Paullee 3 / 7  
Nov 19, 2010   #5
Conclusion could be made longer by restating your two arguments.
Also, for toefl, it is not necessary to use really academic examples.
My friends always use their fake friends or family members (i.e. their cousins) as examples, but still manage to get high score (above 26).

Still, it is indeed a strong essay.
saracoo 1 / 4  
Nov 21, 2010   #6
Hi, Huyen. I will try to make common introduction and conclusion in the future.

Thanks for the advice:P
saracoo 1 / 4  
Nov 21, 2010   #7
Hi, Lee,

Thanks. I do feel the conclusion is quite weak.
How about this oneļ¼š

"...
....
In conclusion, it is necessary to get information from all kinds of news resources for being well-informed. Reading articles from various experts' perspective will help us understand the info from different aspects. Collecting the arguments from opposite standpoints could prevent us from holding biased opinion. Therefore, citizens should try to access as many types of news as possible."

Ah, by the way, Stridercoo=saracoo. Both of them are my IDs. :D
OP Stridercoo 1 / 4  
Nov 24, 2010   #8
Rewrite my introduction.
After internet has become available to all over the world, people are capable to access to various information from different regions and fields. Many have concerned that modern citizens would be overwhelmed by the ocean of information. Meanwhile, people hold opposite opinion cite that getting message from different news resources would help people to understand events under more objective perspective. As far as I concerned, I agree to the latter statement for following reasons.

-After internet has become available to all over the world, citizens are often overwhelmed by the ocean of information. I consider it as a good sign. This is because different news resources would help people to understand events under more objective perspective.
OP Stridercoo 1 / 4  
Nov 24, 2010   #9
Hi PaulLee,

I just find out you post several almost the same replies to others. All of them are talking about a friend of your received 26 score in IBT .
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Nov 27, 2010   #10
I just find out you post several almost the same replies to others.

Well, it's probably okay. I sometimes say the same things to different people, because sometimes people need the same advice I have already given.

Everyone, please keep helping me review essays on the "unanswered" list! I appreciate all your participation...

:-)


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