Undergraduate / 'My Green Company' - Cornell Engineering Supplement [4]

College of Engineering: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

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My performance in the Mathematics and Science courses have always been the most influencing factor in my interest in engineering, until two particular incidents in my life that greatly solidified my engineering passion to the point of no doubt.

It all started when I was twelve-year-old, watching the news with my parents. Sir Richard Branson, a billionaire entrepreneur, offered a 25-million-dollar-prize to anyone who can come up with a way to blunt global warming. Was such a prize necessary? How seriously could the global warming affect us?

After three years, while I was a sophomore in Norway, my Chemistry teacher decided to play "The Inconvenient Truth" in an attempt to make us visualize the role of the Greenhouse gases in link to global warning. I was simply fascinated; I finally was able to connect the missing dots and visualize the big picture. Ever since then, the quest of finding a systematic way of promoting a more sustainable, economical approach of managing energy was my long-term goal.

After three years of continuous research and a number of alumni interviews, it became undoubtedly clear that the College of Engineering at Cornell University is the ideal institute to help me make a difference in the world and accomplish something of significance. Students such as me, who are (interested?) in problems related to energy, the environment, and economic development, are enthralled by and crave for resources such as Cornell Energy Institute, Cornell Center for a Sustainable Future and Cornell Fuel Cell Institute. Furthermore, when it comes to opportunities and limits, I find that Cornell's broad number of programs, such as minoring in Engineering Management or Business for Engineering Students, is a decisive factor that would allow me to achieve my dream, leading my very own "Green" company. Moreover, while the quality of education is one important factor to be considered, I had to make sure the environment around the campus and the city of Ithica is of a fit. Consequently, and while some were lucky enough to visit the campus, I spend numerous of hours touring the campus and the city virtually. The more I spend in front of my screen, exploring Ithaca scenery surrounded by the spectacular waterfalls and peaceful countryside, the more that I can't picture myself in anywhere other than Cornell campus, a campus that offers a fascinating environment for study.

I am sure my Engineering journey at Cornell is going to be one of the most challenging steps I am about to take, but I am even more assured that I will be directed in the right path and will surely succeed in getting one step closer to achieving my dream, leading a "Green" Company that would make a difference in the world, and, who knows, maybe winning Sir Branson's prize one day.

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Even though I'm concerned about ANY grammatical errors, I'm even more concerned about the overall picture of the essay.
I really hope my passion in Cornell University is clearly shown. It's simply my dream.
Thanks for ANY, whatsoever, input.

Undergraduate / UC Prompt #1 : "A Life of a World-Traveler!" [4]

Hi everyone
I appreciate the time and effort you spend reading my essay. I'd love to hear from you your honest criticism, comments, etc...
Thank you in advance. :)

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

"Attending twelve different schools in six different countries is a thrilling life experience that has greatly contributed to what I have set to be my utmost dream, owning a leading engineering company in the world of renewable energy. My mother is a housewife who has devoted her life to take care of our family, whereas my father is a Project Manager in Saudi Aramco, world's largest oil supply company. Due to my father's project assignments, my family has to travel and live in various countries around the world. Depending on how one looks at my life experience, one would consider it an extraordinary opportunity that I should give it my best to benefit from, whilst another would consider it as hectic life that may jeopardize my chances of getting the essential education for a promising career.

First thing that comes up to most people's mind when they first hear about my life-story is that it must be a challenging experience to live. This is surely undeniable. A simple example resembling the hardship of the constant movement is not how to start friendships, but how to keep those friendships alive and vivid after saying "goodbye" and moving to the next country. During summer of 2010, while participating in a summer program held in Oxford University, I was delighted to meet two of my old friends who I have met in an International school in Norway, in 2008. All what it takes to be remembered by your friends who came from the dearest environment is just some enjoyable time and effort spent in contacting them from time to time and this, in my humble opinion, is a skill that I have proudly fulfilled that would definitely help me in achieving my dreams.

Yet, another hardship that I have continuously faced is how to adapt to living in a new country with its unique atmosphere, customs and culture, and more importantly is how to adapt in following a new education system in another school. The educational progress with various academic systems, however, is what has always been my and my parent's central point of concern. It is true I have mostly attended international schools; however each school is influenced by the country's native education system. Thus, every decision my parents and I have taken had dramatic impacts directly on me. For example, it affects my chances of receiving quality education, consistent school grades, later submitted to the colleges, and finally my overall future. Familiarizing myself with rich variety of international schools forced me to persistently challenge myself in becoming accustomed to numerous ways of teaching, thus gaining knowledge of how excel accordingly.

Moreover, coming from an Arabic society, I have frequently received comments on how "Close-minded" the Arab people are. I truly believe, however, after all what I have been through that I am an individual who was offered and, in return, accepted this exceptional opportunity to gain an overseas understanding that contributed to my awareness and acceptance of different lifestyles, cultures, customs, belief, etc.

Honestly, I have occasionally surrendered to the hardships of my life and doubted the pros of route I have taken, but now that I am about to start a new academic adventure, I would always remember these twelve years of my life. Starting my undergraduate education in a highly ranked college is the new step in achieving my utmost dream, owning an engineering company that would accomplish the impossible using renewable energy."

One last thing, please tell me what are the best sentences to cut. I'm exceeding the word count.