Undergraduate / "balance; my father did not die in a car accident" - Personal Information Essay [7]

The first part is really well written I believe. The end is a bit hasty; you spend a lot of time detailing everything that's happened and then -BAM!- like a bomb you drop the conclusion, so yeah maybe revise that a bit, add some details... Hmmmm you might want to add more about how you will contribute to the university.

Undergraduate / "financial struggles" Personal Statement [4]

The idea behind your essay is very strong.
Some places I am confused, like when you say "it was then that I realized that I was selfish, ignorant, and self-centered." There is no evidence that shows how "selfish" you claim to be. I would not consider wanting a camera to be selfish. You decided to work hard to earn it yourself, which is not selfish at all.

There are a few other minor things I would advise you to change, such as:
--That obsession was a beautiful Canon T1i Rebel Digital SLR camera
--Moving from place to place, bouncing from school to school, and from community to community : This sentence does not use parallel structure; in two parts of the sentence you use -ing verbs but you don't use it in the last part.

Also a few minor spelling errors such as understwnd
But other than that I think your essay is really strong in topic!

Undergraduate / "My Enviornment: Family, Culture, and School" - UC Prompt 1 [16]

OK, I'm not trying to accuse you of anything and I'm sure there's an explanation, but the first part of your essay sounds plagiarized from this essay from two years ago.