Undergraduate / Chicas and the importance of youth sports for girls - Issue of Importance essay [2]

Hi,
I'm applying to UT and am looking for some final edits of my "issue of importance" essay.

This is the apply texas B essay:

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Thanks so much for any feedback and for reading my essay, good luck to any others out there with Dec. 1st deadlines.

Chica, whose real name is Caitlin, is a year older than me, she is quiet, easily embarrassed, and religious, most things I am not. At first chica was just our nickname for each other. Playing ultimate Frisbee in high school the descriptor "girl" was generally enough to separate us. Instead of resenting being referred to as gender, being separated from the majority of our teammates, we co-opted the name, added a little southern flair, and created an institution.

Chica came to be a constant in my life, cheering on our team, joking on the sidelines, competing in points we played against each other, and accompanying me on a million inane adventures. We didn't share classes, friends, or common experiences but everyday we came out to participate in a sport we loved and that was enough. We told of our lives and fears without holding back, relied on each other and our time on the field during stressful events, and celebrated individual successes with shared joy.

This year Chica left for college, and in her absence I have had the joy of watching a new chica grow into my heart. Emily, who competes with me in varsity cross country watched me fail this year at my last attempt to break a season running goal. She reached the same goal. As I stumbled out of the finishing corral I was devastated, but all I could focus on was whether she had succeeded. Together we were able to mourn my loss and celebrate her success without disrespecting either performance. We both realized our relationship was more important than either of our times. In this moment I realized that I too hold the role of chica and that everything I admire in Caitlin stands inside me with Emily.

A chica is defined by their acceptance. Found between the beating of cleats and the thudding of sneakers, shrouded in sweat and dirt, chica's wind their relationships and words around footfalls, practices, and goals. Their understanding grows from shared pursuits and failures. Chica's watch as they each push themselves into the fire, at their best and at their worst, to try and find pride, their limits, success. They watch the inner fight with all goals that are beautiful and fragile in the human soul. Through strength and vulnerability, success and reasons to try again, chicas see past individual performances and validate all efforts by looking towards something more important, the bond that brought them to that moment.

With my chicas I don't need to speek, explain, or deny. I don't worry about how I am seen. I tell all that twists my heart and allow it to unravel across her ears without being judged. This bond between chicas is a safezone in the dangers of growing into a mature adult and every individual deserves to experience such an unassuming and complete trust. This is why athletics are so important in the female youth population. Young girls often feel great pressure to look or act disingenuously to appear popular or meet unrealistic standards shown in the media. Sports serve as a natural release of stress, promote healthy practices and body image, improve self confidence, and teach important skills in self accountability, accepting mistakes, teamwork, goal setting, and the pursuit of excellence. Each of these benefits is built from an accepting environment which is created by the love of a friend who knows you completely without asking, a chica.

Undergraduate / Rocketdog and the importance of being present - Person of Importance [3]

I'm applying to UT and looking for some final feedback on my essay.
This is the Apply Texas prompt A: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Thanks so much for reading my essay and good luck to any other dec. 1st deadline applicants!

He was so calm and relaxed that I decided to push him, letting the clock tick past sixty seconds, on to ninety. With bated breath I watched, slowly lowering myself down to his level, sinking against the curb allowing my watch to stray from my vision so that I could stroke his back. I silently cursed every dog that was paraded by, flinched at every neighbor slamming a door, and prayed that every thunderous trashcan would go silent. None of my private pleas were answered, but yet he stayed. Sometimes swiveling his eyes, perking an ear, or wrinkling his nose to investigate, but only moving his body to slowly ease against my legs, and finally, to sprawl, curving his spine along the curb and resting his head in my lap.

The sight of a girl and her dog would not rouse grand sentiment in most, but I have seen every stress and anxiety Rocketdog has undergone. Rocket, a hyperactive border collie who suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder and deafness, was saved from euthanasia by an amazing local family. At their wits ends and hoping more regular exercise would calm Rocket, they called on me to be his dog walker. It had been my dream since I had attended a puppy manners dog training class when I was two to become a dog trainer, so I took the opportunity to work with a challenging dog as a great foundation for my company. As my first client for my new dog walking business, Rocket was a handful, since then I have realized he was so much more than a learning experience for my now two year old company "Wonderdogs". I have been broken into Rocket's world. I feed him his anti-anxiety medications, I walk him, and I work with his owners, constantly communicating to provide Rocket with regular rules and responses no matter who he is with. I spend countless hours working to teach him to sit, walk on a leash, or even just make eye contact and relax - two skills that are very important with his OCD and loss of hearing. Every instance he stands, confused by what is being asked of him, his whole body alert and intent, trying to please me, or each occasion when he is completely gone, chasing after flashes of light obsessively, are moments when I have failed him.

All of these junctures, whether he succeeds or I blunder, are equally important, and I have to be present for them, for him. I have learned that being present is not just showing up. Rocket quickly taught me that when my mind was elsewhere it was apparent. He would jump on me, pull on the leash, chase after imaginary bugs, and growl at passersby. I have to be attentive because each time he is allowed to perform these bad behaviors only reinforces them in his mind, but when I am vigilant, I can redirect that negative energy into a healthy activity. If I want to improve Rocket's quality of life, I have to be actively and passionately engaging myself in the work that is happening.

If we do not partake in what we are doing, we fall pray to busy work, floating from task to task never truly getting anything of meaning done. We form false relationships, built not off of work, time, and commitment, but off of unrehearsed phrases thrown into conversations we do not truly hear. If I were to lose focus at Ultimate Frisbee I would be disrespecting the efforts of my team and opponents, in cross country I lose connection to my motivation and I set myself up for injury. In educational settings I miss my full potential for learning, and in music or marching band I lose an opportunity to improve and set a good example for those younger than me. No matter what pursuit, if I am not present in the moment, I can never give my best and I prevent myself from reaching my goals. Mother Teresa says to "Do small things with great love". Walking a dog is a small thing, but in Rocket's case it teaches me that being there for another is a grand act of love.