Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by w3ndiful
Joined: Nov 29, 2010
Last Post: Nov 29, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  


Displayed posts: 5
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
w3ndiful   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Exploring San Francisco and meeting people, Solitary Bus 2" -UC Prompt [3]

Prompt #2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

The sight of colorful graffiti on the ceiling and the black old gum-ridden floor inside the bus slowly fades as I stare out the window and see masses of people and cars zooming by. The scenery outside creates a numbing sensation while the chatter of the strangers around me forms a monotonous buzz that is easily ignored. Just another typical day on the bus.

Having the freedom to take the bus by myself may seem insignificant and to admit that it hold great importance in my life may sound slightly pathetic. But past experiences have made me more courageous in going on adventures around the city, and more open to learning from others' and the knowledge they have to share.

Once on the bus, a middle-aged man boarded and sat straight across from me. Moments later, he pointed and began to converse. I felt hesitant in responding to a complete stranger but he seemed friendly and harmless. We talked about various cities ranging from San Francisco to New York and Chicago. Though a brief conversation, he told me about immigration life in New York and certain must see sites in Chicago while I reciprocated and told him about sites in San Francisco. I was disappointed to see him get off the bus several stops later for he had given me a history lesson and mental tour of several different cities all in a few minutes time, but felt very grateful nonetheless.

The buses also accompany me on my various adventures in exploring the diversity of the city. While most members of my family may want to constantly stay confined to Chinatown as they find places to dine and shop, I would much rather explore what San Francisco has to offer and the different cultures and cuisine. Bus rides provide me with personal tours of the city since a single bus ride in San Francisco passes through the various districts and reveals treasures hidden within.

Often times I pass through the city's Mission District on my way home and would not give it a second thought since it is such a usual sight. But I began to explore the district the laid back feeling of the residents piqued my interest more and more. I found quirky places like Emmy's Spaghetti Shack that serves huge meatballs that aren't meant to fit into any mouth with one bite, and a 30 feet slide wedged between two average houses.

Exploring San Francisco and meeting knowledgeable people would never have been possible without the assistance of the city's buses. Yes, they might be dirty, sticky, and possibly smelly, but they are the only way to truly experience and delve into a city with so much variation of culture and people meshed together.

thanks in advance for any help provided!
w3ndiful   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "My mother said: 'Don't Cry' and died"- UC prompt #2 [5]

very touching, and presented in a unique way since it is mostly dialogue form
id like to see a bit more written at the very end. you didnt quite answer teh question how youre proud of this experience and i realize that is kinda hard to do.

You should also elaborate on the last sentence about how you replaced "your demons of sorrow with determination to fight on and make something of yoruself"
w3ndiful   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Becoming part of the Aquarium of the Pacific" - uc prompt 2- false promises [2]

maybe in paragraph 2, include how you felt at the time when your father would break these promises then transition into how it has affected your promise to yourself.

and i would like to see a little bit more written in the last paragraph about how being a part of the aquarium is something you really want and enjoy since it contrasts with the second paragraph and your father's empty promises.

great essay overall! i especially liked how you began since it really caught my attention
w3ndiful   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Solitary Bus Rides"-UC Prompt #2 [5]

Thanks so much!
Its still a work in progress even with the deadline being a few days away. I really appreciate the feedback (:
w3ndiful   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Solitary Bus Rides"-UC Prompt #2 [5]

Personal Statement Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Most kids my age want to get their drivers license and be envied by others. But if you hand me my monthly bus pass, I'm good to go. Whether I have a destination in mind or not, solitary bus rides act as temporary escapes from daily pressures. They are often seen as simply a form of transportation, but to me they are much more. Bus rides provide a sense of tranquility and often lead me to odd and quirky adventures.

Each bus ride is unique in its own way, but they always help me relax. In an odd way, it's my form of meditation. Images flying past me are numbing and the noise that surrounds me forms a monotonous buzz that I can easily ignore. Then my thoughts begin to wander, sometimes of school and homework to the outside scenery or sometimes even a blank nothingness.

Some early mornings, I wake up to the sleeping sun and head out to take the bus to school. A dark sky acts as the usual backdrop for my early bus rides but as I make my way to school, the sun slowly rises and the outside scenery transforms completely into a sky painted with the various colors of a sunrise. Mornings like that provide some peace and quiet before I delve into noisy hectic school days.

Then there are other bus rides where I have no destination in mind and simply want to explore San Francisco. With its various scenery, diverse neighborhoods, and multicultural people, I can never get bored living in a city like this one. The bus rides act as personal tour guides, bringing me to all the different nooks and crannies of this city, making it my own little ever-changing museum, but somehow it still manages to stay the same. Often, these bus rides turn into adventures in and of itself.

One time I was riding the bus to a friend's birthday party, but the ride there was so long that I began to stare out the bus windows and zone out. In the middle of this, a middle-aged man boarded the bus and sat across from me, blocking my view of the outside scenery and causing me to feel frustrated and disappointed. A moment later, the man began to point and talk to me. I felt hesitant in responding to a complete stranger but he seemed friendly and harmless. We talked about various cities ranging from San Francisco to New York and Chicago. Though a brief conversation, he told me about immigration life in New York and certain must see sites in Chicago while I told him about places in San Francisco. After he got off the bus several stops later, I had a history lesson and a mental tour, all from a man who blocked my view.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳