Undergraduate / UC Prompt #1 - World travel teaching lessons? [3]

Your essay starts out great i just feel that it ends really weak in the last paragraph. To me it sounds very generic, the beginning is so interesting and different and then you end with something that doesn't really connect very well. i feel like you should just end it and wrap up after the large paragraph, the ending is a bit again cliche and redundant.

Undergraduate / "Curiosity for knowledge" - Common App #4 Hermione Granger [3]

work on flow between paragraphs... in the topic and conclusion sentences. well worded and other than that flows pretty well. im not good at grammer so i cant help you there

Undergraduate / "I value my family more than ever" - USC essay "What Matters to Me and Why" [7]

very cute and you nailed the "making it enjoyable to read"... i hope mine sounds this well written. good luck