Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]

Posts by 92angel
Joined: Dec 6, 2010
Last Post: Mar 3, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 3  

From: Texas

Displayed posts: 6
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Mar 3, 2011
Writing Feedback / "The smell of the library is different" - a descriptive essay (library) [5]

CAN ANYONE PLEASE HELP ME...AS FAST AS you can!!! i have to do an descriptive essay of my library! my teacher told me i have to many run on sentences...i just dont get it what i can describe more, so frustrating! she gave me another chance to re- do it ...i have until tomo. please help me!

I have entered the library through its unfamiliar large doors. I took my first step in and looked around; I could see many diverse groups of students sitting with friends studying. There are huge windows at the back of the library that give a magnificent and outstanding look, while also bringing in a powerful light into the library. Artificial trees and plants stand in almost every corner of the library, giving it a unique and beautiful look.

The carpet was made thick and comfy so the sound of people walking by wont disturb the focused students sitting in the library, The books were properly organized in an alphabetic order so it would be easier for the students to find a specific book and not waste their time looking for it, The different wooden pieces in the library, Each one was made for a different purpose, a high table with its high chairs for the comfort of the tall people and the ones who need to use their own computer devices, The wide chairs near the huge windows for whom who like to read with a natural light coming from the windows, Along with other diverse pieces of furniture are present there each one serves and important duty.

The smell of the library is different. I could smell a new ideas just by walking in, the powerful smell of imagination coming from the laying books on the shelves that want to be read, The antique smell of the pages of old books, the untouched books lying on the shelves, the smell of the dust coming from these books, The food that students bring with them to the library, The smell of cologne and perfume of the students walking next to me, the smell of sweat of the students involved in a sport activity, scents from the pleasant to the wretched, The distinct smell of the unwashed clothes along with the cigarette smell that will have me depressed in no time once it crosses my nose. The smells mixed together made the library full of life because of the different kind of smells, without these smells going around the library it would be lifeless, I cannot imagine sitting there and smell nothing, that is just impossible.

Touching the smooth bindings of ancient and new books gave me a whole new perspective on books, The feeling of the thin and over used papers gave the book a strange new look, even though it is old, The weight of the books differ from each other, there are some thick and heavy ones which makes it more hard to carry around and the thin light books that are more easier to walk around with. The old tables i sit on have many rough and sharp splinters I could see and feel every time I sit there to study.

I Could feel the carpet underneath my feet, it is so comfortable to walk on. The piece of cloth on the chairs are made with the finest material for the convenience of the students, I could sit and learn all day on these chair and never feel a slight feeling of a pain in my back, the different wooden pieces around the library are smooth and clean, some has graffiti drawn on them by the students, almost every piece of wood in the library has it is individual graffiti.

I could hear nothing but the quiet peaceful sounds of paper turning and minds thinking at their best, the sound of the copying machines keeps going all day long unstoppable, the air conditioner turning on and off, the sound of the moving leaves of the artificial trees every time the air conditioner hits it, the students buzzing around like i am sitting beside a hive of bees punctuated by a few louder statements from the librarian to make the students lower their voices so others can focus, the whispering among the students, the chairs scrapping against the floor each time a student moves, I could hear the snoring of the sleeping students, the different laughs people make.
Jan 31, 2011
Undergraduate / "A Father's Enduring Love" - The person you admire the most [2]

Ok so i must hand out this essay on Wednesday, the topic is the person you admire the most.

i just need some help concerning my language, grammar (if there is any) , and other paragraphs i could add, because this one is just 2 pages and i need 3...im out of ideas

any help would be appreciated, thanks in advance.

A Father's Enduring Love

The people that get to know us best, from our virtues to flaws, are our parents. They have the greatest influence on our lives because they are the people we see the most and have known for the longest period of time. They sacrifice many luxuries in order to give their children the best life possible. My father has had a huge impact on my life and it is because of him that I am the person I am today. A lot of people say that I am a lot like my dad, both physically and mentally. We both have the same mannerism, facial expressions, and thinking processes. We love to study and travel, eat exotic and luxurious food, spend time with family members and we both have an incredible amount of energy. From observing my dad's behavior and listening to his lectures, he has had a great influence on my life, choices and personality.

My father, Najeeb Yousef Rizik, went through so much in his life to get to where he is today, a successful pharmacist with a well-paying job. My dad is a strong confident man who left his hometown when he was seventeen years old and moved to the United States alone. He didn't know anyone, had little money in his pocket and worked in the most demeaning jobs with the lowest income, jobs I would never even imagine working in. Nonetheless, he had no other choice. He needed to eat and live. With all of these obstacles in his way he never stopped looking at the bright side of his journey with ambition as his only friend and motivator towards a better and more successful life. After twelve years, he managed to graduate from a respectful university in Texas and he started working as a licensed pharmacist.

October 1st 1992, The day I opened my eyes to the world and the day my father started giving me unconditional love. My father was and always will be my number one idol. His journey as a teenager made me realize how easy mine is compared to his. I am so grateful that I had him as a father; the things he taught me have influenced my life in different ways. For example, I learnt to always be honest and tell the truth no matter what happens, to never try to be someone whom I'm not and to respect people no matter what. All these examples along with other things that he had taught me during his life helped me to start working towards my goal and to achieve it. Because of him, I became very eager to follow my own dream. As he has always told me and continues to tell me 'there is nothing impossible if you put your mind to it'. He proved that to me.

My father always placed his family as his number one priority. He moved back to the USA after getting married and started working in America so he could guarantee a better future for his children, which he did. My dad has a very special place in my life and always will not just because he is my dad, but because he is a special and strong person in my eyes. Dad has always told me no matter what happens to you in life pick yourself up and keep going strong as you were. He says what doesn't hurt you makes you stronger. I believe there are no excuses in life to make you just give up and be lazy. You are what you make of your life no ifs or buts. You can be who or whatever you want to be all you have to do is work hard towards your ambitions. So that even though my dad has back and knee problems he still works hard every day, at the age of fifty-eight years. I admire and respect my father for everything he has dose and has done. I work hard at everything I do for the greatest reward of all. Knowing that my accomplishments are making my father proud.

To conclude, I could not have asked for a better father. My dad has always been there for me and I will always be there for him. I respect my father because he has earned it. He was a true father and never took the easy way out like most fathers do nowadays. I believe my father is the best at everything he does. He has been through so much in his life and still is a happy wonderful man; I would have probably been sad and depressed if I had to go through half as much as my father did. He never looks behind he always looks at the bright side in every problem, he always says the past is the past "always remember it but do not dwell on it" you should dwell on the future that is the important thing.
Jan 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'People's jealousy, greed, and supremacy' - People always want something more? [5]

i kinda agree and disagree.
i disagree because when you are in the business field and you get a promotion that means more money, more money means better life for you and your family.. so anyone who wants to give his family a better life or have a better life for himself that would be the normal choice, to try and have promotions as much as he can.

i agree beacuse that young kids today are greedy and dont value the money their parents work hard for, they always want new cars, new toys, new computer etc.. which i totally disagree with. children must be teached to value the simple things in life instead of just when they ask for something they get it the easy way, they should earn it.

thats my opinion(:

Jan 31, 2011
Undergraduate / My educational goals and why I would like to participate in TSA Associates Program [3]

An essay is supposed to be about one thing ( a topic: in this case my education goals and why I want to participate in a program that will get me an associates.) and each paragraph should be about one main idea.

So for example, in paragraph one you describe who influenced you to do this , in paragraphs 2 and 3 you discuss the reasons why you want the associate degree, in paragraph 4 and 5

how that does that help you to become who/what you are today etc. but remember keep your paragraphs focused on one subject at a time.

Oh and try to use connectors for example, though, but, yet, nonetheless. They make the essay better and give meaning to
the relationship between the sentences.

hope i helped(:

Dec 6, 2010
Undergraduate / "to practice medicine on my own" - writing my life goal essay, for 1 - 3 - 5 years [2]

ok im freaking out ! i must give the the final essay on december 8 with a 750 words.
and i only wrote about 560 words and cant think of anything more to write!
its really urgent and i really suck when it comes to writing an essay!!
i would really appreciate some help.

so heres what i got so far.. correct me please and give me ideas anything would be helpful
thanks in advance.

Selfishness is a large motivator when it comes to personal goals. Instead of wondering what an individual can get out of a situation, they should be wondering how they can help others. When a person helps others they meet their physical and emotional needs. Helping others also brings compassion and compassion equals a better society. As for myself I want to become a doctor to make an impact on each individual patient's life.

Seeing the people at the hospital and clinics whom are sick and ill really made me sympathetic, and that motivated me to want to help others.

Therefore so I can accomplish my dream I need to write down my life goals on a piece of paper that will keep reminding me what to do in the upcoming years and finish them, Everytime i do so it will help me be a step closer to my dream. So I will start by writing down my first year life goal that is going to be finishing college with passing grades that will entitle me to start learning in the healthcare field at a respected university.

When my first year goal is finished I will start working on my three year goal, my three year goal will be finding a job that consists of being in the healthcare field, For example, being a pharmacy technician. By doing so i can learn and know several names of every medicine and what it is used for, and as the time goes by i will start to memorize the names and the use of every kind of different medicine out there. Even the interaction with people will help me become a good listener and know how to calm people when they are distressed and emotionally unstable. Working as a pharmacy technician will be a very important step for me to take; it will help me in my future career. By being a doctor i have to memorize every kind of medicine out there and the use of it, so working as a technician will work to my advantage in the near future and ofcourse will help me be a more successful student.

After finishing my three year goal, a five year goal will come ahead. My five year goal will be having a medical doctor degree (M.D). To be entitled to have this degree i must go through four years of intensive learning at a medical school, which will consist of learning about medicine and science. After finishing my four years and graduating, then the hard work come, the time for my skills to be tested by working as a resident at the hospital, in other word internship. By becoming an internship that means practicing the material I have gained learning in the university but ofcourse that will also take time depending what i will specialize in, normally it takes between one year to six years. After finishing the internship then i will become certified by a national organization of my specialty and licensed by the state to practice medicine on my own. That will give me a basic idea of what I am going to be facing later on when i practice my career.
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