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Posts by foreals99
Joined: Dec 24, 2010
Last Post: Dec 29, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "all of the dimensions of the university" - Columbia Supplement [5]

Question: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why?

My appeal to Columbia stems from all of the dimensions of the university. The broad range of programs offered at Columbia drew me to the university because they give me the power to keep my options open. Columbia offers programs for both neuroscience and finance, and it is imperative to me to apply to a university which could offer excellent programs for the both the areas of study in which I plan to get a degree. Furthermore, I have an appeal to Columbia because of its location. Not only is New York a great place to live, but it is also a place which provides me the best opportunity to expand my network. I am drawn to Columbia because of its commitment to diversity; many universities try to highlight their diverse campuses, but Columbia has statistics to prove their commitment. I want to go to university in which I can be accepted for who I am, and not have to conform to anybody else's standards. The most important aspect of my appeal to Columbia comes from the university's support services for its students. Programs such as the Fellowship office, which guides the students towards earning grants and scholarships, and Higher Education Opportunity Program shows the university's commitment to unlock the potential of its students. I want to have a guarantee from the university I attend that they will put their maximum effort to get me to succeed in all my academic and career-oriented endeavors, and these programs highlight that guarantee for me.

Please let me know any feedback!
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "in-class learning and research" - Penn Supplement [3]

Question: Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?

Response: My academic appeal to Penn was drawn from the heavy emphasis on interdisciplinary study at the university. I plan to be a part of the Wharton School of Business studying finance, and I also want to study cognitive sciences in College of Arts and Sciences with a concentration on cognitive neuroscience.

I want my academic career at Wharton to be comprised of an equal amount of in-class learning and research. As a student, I want to take advantage of the cutting-edge technology offered at Wharton such as the Grid Computing Platform. If I receive the opportunity to use this platform, I plan to analyze past economic circumstances \to help predict future economic patterns which deal with the same situation. Furthermore, I want to take part in the Wharton Learning Labs to help me engage in real-life situations which deal with business and finance. I want to be a part of the various stimulations offered through Wharton classes because of my attraction towards real-life situations which deal with risk factor.

On top of my academic work at Wharton, I plan on heavily engaging in educational and research opportunities offered at Institute for Research in Cognitive Sciences. I want my concentration to be focused on cognitive neuroscience because of my career goal of becoming a neurosurgeon. At the IRCS, I plan to be heavily involved with research in Attention and Memory lab. I want my research in the Attention and Memory lab to help me fulfill my ambition of creating a device which could manually send electric signals to the brain to revive non-functional parts. The research facilities and support services at Penn provide me the optimal opportunity to fulfill my ambitions.

Although my experience at Penn is focused on a variety of academic ambitions, I plan to have an amazing college experience by being a part of the many extracurricular activities offered at Penn. I want to take part of the various cultural clubs at Penn such as the United Minorities Council which spread cultural awareness through their events throughout the year. I plan to be heavily involved with clubs which have an emphasis on diversity because of my aspiration to get completely rid of cultural ignorance's and prejudice. Furthermore, I plan on being involved in the service organizations offered at Penn such as Habitat for Humanity because of my previous involvement with similar organizations, and the great environment they provides to meet new people who have the similar interests as I do. I am a huge sports fanatic; therefore, I definitely see myself participating in various sports clubs offered at Penn such as Intramural football.

In addition to the extracurricular activities that I see myself being involved with, I want to enjoy the city of Philadelphia while I attend Penn. I want to take advantage of the historic sites which the city has to offer such as Independence Hall and Congress Hall because of the importance of these sites to American independence. Furthermore, Philadelphia is home to many influential people and Penn alumni; I want to take full advantage by meeting these people and expanding my network. Lastly, I see myself attending many sporting events that take place in Philadelphia such as the Philadelphia Eagles or Philadelphia Phillies game, and enjoying Lincoln Financial Field and Citizens Bank Park.

Please give any feedback!
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "My hands show me" - PERSONAL STATEMENT [3]

This is a very good essay; there are a few run on's and spelling errors, but it is very good!
Please read my essay if you don't mind!

The meaning behind a persons hands, - pr 2 *change persons to person's- few other mistakes of this kind just check over!

an author writes a story and a doctor preforms surgeries.- pr 2 *performs

I live in a family of artists, my mother and sister- pr 3 *change to- I live in a family of artist; my mother and my sister

I honestly spent my time working with the homeless, the elderly, shelter cats and low income children an entire society who are - pr 3 *put semicolon after children