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"Global Network and Person You'd bring (Jackson Pollock) - my NYU short


fredawashere 1 / -  
Dec 27, 2010   #1
These are only supposed to be 500 characters long in case you were wondering about the length.

PROMPT #1: NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

New York University, a global network, is synonymous with the idea of a truly diverse community. In more ways than merely the color of one's skin but the upbringings of one's home, the sound of greatly different Spanish rolled "R's" beating against African languages in a range of dialects, or interests ranging from animation to linguistics. Having the privilege to learn beside this vastly varied population will not only challenge me, but broaden my perspective allowing me to be a global citizen.

PROMPT #2: If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

A dripping wet canvas covered the floor. His movements increased rapidly as he danced around the painting, dashes of color engrossed the once stark white background. We moved side by side that evening, energized by the chaotic images we created together. I shared with him a part of my heart and soul one night in downtown [my city]. I painted with my favorite artist Jackson Pollock, learning the ways of action painting and fractal art.
sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 27, 2010   #2
These are wonderful! Very creative, both creating wonderful imagery. I would only take out "a global network" in prompt #1 because it is stated in the prompt.
lanes 5 / 33  
Dec 27, 2010   #3
I really liked the first one, you answered it perfectly.
For the second, elaborate on the connection you have with jackson pollack, why do u love his work?
why i she your favorite artist, why would you want to spend time with him, answer the questions interweaving them into your paragraph.
foreals99 2 / 3  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
The first was really good!

On the second one it seems a bit vast. I would definetely focus more on the artist and explain more of the WHY factor.

Good Luck!
acrayan 3 / 7  
Dec 27, 2010   #5
Both answers are very good.

Just a little fix to the first one.

Having the privilege to learn beside this vastly varied population will not only challenge me, but [ will] broaden my perspective allowing [and allow] me to be a global citizen.

So basically just add the "will" in there and change allowing to "and allow."


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