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Posts by kevin1225
Joined: Dec 25, 2010
Last Post: Dec 27, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 6
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kevin1225   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / Health Science and Space exploration Paragraph- area of research study [3]

What are of research should not be funded and why?

Space exploration is the area of research that should not be funded for its ineffective use and the harm that it creates. From Galileo to E.T, humankind has always been obsessed with the universe. The question of whether or not extraterrestrial life exists continues to irritate us each day, causing billions and billions of dollars being spent on several space exploration programs. However, is this really necessary? Should the government be funding these innovative projects when over 10.8% Canadian are still under the poverty line? Does our fascination with space outweigh the life-threatening diseases that face us today? When the first human stepped on the surface of the moon, the famous phrase: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" was coined. Yet, in my opinion, I do not see how our civilization has taken a "giant leap" over the past 40 years. The billions that were spent on this project could have gone to a much better initiative. No human has yet stepped on the bottom of the ocean, or been to the Earth's center core. Nevertheless, we are pushing to travel to another plant to explore a completely different environment. The space should be left as a mystery to mankind, a place of marvel and admiration. Instead of letting NASA tell us the name of every constellation, we should let our imagine do the job and appreciate the wonders of the great universe.
kevin1225   
Dec 25, 2010
Undergraduate / Johns Hopkins - What type of engineering and why? [4]

Our experiences often dictate our future. However, my experience with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and spending countless hours in hospitals for examinations had quite an adverse affect on me.

Adverse affect would mean your experience did not dictate your future. But it did, didn't it?

One would think that all of this exposure to the medical field for such a negative reason would drive me far from such a profession, but somehow, seeing how the advancements in medical technology were helping me only made me want to impact this field in any way possible. But while my experiences pushed me to one career, my interest drove me elsewhere.

You ended your train of thought about your experience in the hospital too soon. Expand on it.
kevin1225   
Dec 25, 2010
Undergraduate / "We all want it. What is Education?" - Common App [3]

I like your overall approach to education, but I believe that you should be more specific.
Try to focus on a few reasons.

Also, the thesis at the start should be a lot stronger and more clear.
State exactly what your views about education is, and the distinct points you are going to outline in your essay.

"This is a question I grappled with for a long time." should read "i grappled with this question for a long time...." the previous sentence is a bit awkward

Help me PLEASE:
kevin1225   
Dec 25, 2010
Undergraduate / "reasons for choosing architecture" - Rensselaer App [4]

Great essay.

The sentence "Threw my childhood experiences on these grounds, I have discovered a passion for architecture." seemed quite awkward and incomplete.

do you mean "through"
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