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Posts by kevin4082003
Joined: Dec 26, 2010
Last Post: Dec 27, 2010
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From: United States of America

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kevin4082003   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / the Petri Dish + NY City + M. Luther King from the past - NYU supplemental Essays [6]

Good responses to the 2nd and 3rd question!

As I peered into the Petri Dish with the bacterium, I saw the antibiotics being produced in colors of bright violet and crimson red. I never realized that the cure for prevalent diseases could lie within a small organism. I wish to study pre-professional medicine at NYU New York because I hope to, one day, useapply this knowledge in the real world andto provide a real benefit for the treatment of diseaseshelp save the lives of many people.

^I feel like this sounds a bit more enlightening.
kevin4082003   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / Why Brown- "I'm like a T-ball player" [5]

Great start with your comparison between the baseball player and yourself.

Saying "I want to study cognitive science" is basically the same as saying "I want to be a baseball player." Neither statement provides sufficient detail. Every baseball player has chosen a position in which to specialize. A small child new to baseball does not know which position is best suited to their likes and talents, so they need the freedom to try all of the positions before deciding on their specialty.

In the same way, a freshman first deciding on a cognitive science major does not yet know their field of specialization. This uncertainty is why I am interested in Brown. Like a T-ball player do you mean baseball player?, I need the freedom to choose my focus on my own. In order to ensure that Brown would give me this freedomsounds a bit awkward when you say "need" and "in order to ensure", I looked at the curriculum that is offered for a cognitive science student. While there are core, required classes, there is also an amazing variety of electives to choose from. I can try my hand at classes in psychology, neuroscience, computer science, anthropology, and even philosophy before deciding what area I would like to focus my attention on. perhaps you can talk about and expand upon why certain classes or electives that you've looked at that really interest you as apposed to just listing them out

You've kind of delved upon the topic of why Brown is an appealing university to you, as most of the things you mentioned apply to most colleges & universities. Maybe try writing about specific areas of cognitive science at Brown that differ from the other schools of which you are interested in.

It's getting there!
kevin4082003   
Dec 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "exposed to an array of leaders" - Cornell ILR Supplement Essay [2]

School of Industrial and Labor Relations:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. In your essay please address how the ILR curriculum will help you fulfill these interests and your long-term goals.


As a child, I was constantly exposed to an array of leaders: Harry Potter, Buzz Lightyear, and even Barney the dinosaur was a leader. Everywhere I turned, all the famous names, whether real or fictitious, were associated with someone who was a leader. Naturally, I idolized this ideal and it became my ambition to become a leader.

It began in fourth grade when I joined Cub Scouts. I walked into my first scouts meeting and there was Andrew Wu inviting me to join Cub Scout Den 3. He was a Den Chief, a Boy Scout with the job to guide Cub Scouts in their weekly activities. With each passing event, I admired him more for being an open-minded person. Above all, Andrew always kept a keen perspective on any matter presented before him. Following his example, I became a Boy Scout and eventually a Den Chief.

From that point, I eagerly looked for leadership opportunities. This led me to running for student council in 7th grade and I became my middle school's 7th grade representative. As I carried out my duties of attending meetings, voicing peer opinions, and planning logistics for school activities, I noticed something. Being a leader is not about holding a prestigious position or putting on as many school events as possible, but rather, interacting with those you lead.

High school was when I found out what actually having responsibilities for others really meant. As class president for two years, I oversaw many projects, but one that was illuminating was the privilege of directing a class skit production for our high school homecoming. Among other tasks, we assembled an acting cast, sewed a 15 by 90 foot backdrop out of hotel bed sheet donations, choreographed multiple dances, and much more. Experiencing this with my class allowed me to grasp the importance of teamwork and how it can determine the success of a common goal.

I am different; I changed from wanting to become the likes of Peter Pan to wanting to become like Andrew Wu. Whether it is simply answering a question for someone or planning school-wide events to enliven the school climate, I have always enjoyed helping people. What better way to fulfill my passion than to pursue a B.S. in Industrial Labor and Relations? I am confident that the ILR School will help me develop my skills in management and policy analysis, which prove crucial in undertaking imminent problems of society and creating change for the future. The well-connected community at Cornell and around the area of Ithaca and New York provide many advantages for students like me to expand our interests, such as interacting with leading scholars in their respective fields, participating in civic engagement projects, and ultimately cultivating a multidisciplinary approach to resolving social problems. I plan to exploit these extensive opportunities with hopes of continuously relating to others and further my knowledge in becoming a better leader as a Cornell Bear.

Any criticism is greatly appreciated. Thank you!