Undergraduate / "traditionally with Islam" - Bowdoin Supplement- Intellectual Engagement [5]

Having been brought up rather traditionally with Islam playing an important role in my upbringing, my faith in my beliefs was unshakable. However, in O2 (10th grade)I would just say 2002 here, no need for the 10th grade specification I had an English teacher who had very strong opinions about how religon had to be kept away from the government in order for the government to be successful, and he was very vocal about his views in class. His opinions sparked rather heated arguments between him and his class, with his students mostly trying to prove his views wrong. But he was remarkably swift in striking down the opposition with a bevy of facts and figures from various sources to back his often controversial views. Even still, our class was a motivated bunch; every subsequent timeno need for a comma we too countered him with our own set of data. Although we never really got to winwon any of these debates, we did, however, inch closer and closer each time. Each time the arguments were more heated, more well-backed, and more interesting than the last. And each time made me love arguments even more.

After this experience, I became hooked to arguments and debates (the ones situated away from a podium of any sort). Every time there was a discussion about a topic I knew in my home or in school, I would immediatly jump in. And even if I didn't posess enough knowledge to actively participate, I always stuck around to listen. For me, nothing says intellectual engagement than a good old-fashioned debate

It's good. Specific and it answers the prompt, just a few grammatical suggestions.

Undergraduate / "a little eccentric and wild" - Stanford Roommate Essay [5]

Looks good. Maybe fewer exclamation marks? I get that you're excited (hell, I will be too if I get into Stanford) but I think it comes off a little cheesy at times. Also, like has already been said, specifics would be nice.. For example, what kind of music do you listen to? Your personality definitely shows through though, so no worries there (:

Undergraduate / "Heroin; to study psychology" - Stanford intellectually engaging activity [3]

I would be a little more specific either about what it is about heroin in particular that fascinated (since that's what you started the essay with) or else about how the class fascinated you (which I think is what really fascinated you). Strong essay though, I like the line about "all areas of study"-- shows the plurality of your learning interests (which is exactly what they're looking for in a student).

Undergraduate / "we at least share a commitment to academic excellence" Dear Roomate- Stanford [6]

Still trying to complete my simile to be more descriptive. Thanks for the feedback!

Undergraduate / academics and a rich culture + diverse community - Stanford [7]

Stanford is like a home away from home. To the west, I will watch the o cean and contemplate. Memories of times at the beaches will resurface life-changing experiences at the Philippines (This sentence is a little confusing.. Memories of times at the Cali beaches?). As the sun sets, something in those memories will motivate me pass (past?) an idea . To the north, Palo Alto reminds me of Cagayan de Oro City. Like my home city, I believe Palo Alto will nurture my perspectives I've shared with my friends in America. Southeast, I wish to run through the hills of Lake Lagunita because it resembles the Iowa landscape that I have only watched through my car window. To the south, the Santa Cruz Mountain is reminiscent of the encompassing evergreens and natural moments I saw on my way to Yellowstone National park. The skyscrapers of New York could never even compare to the mountain's grandeur.

(I don't know how to transition here)
Stanford is home to faculty who are recognized in their fields of discipline. Nobel Prize and National Engineering award winners roam its hallways. I want to be one of those that constantly interact with these academic rockstars . With these types of educators a curious mind can grow into its full potential.

Living in Fort Dodge, Iowa for so many years, it would be a breath of fresh air to live in a diverse community. The temperature average is definitely higher and snow is not going to be a problem. I want to meet new people of other nationalities and cultures. Learning from other ethnic races can widen my perspective. Count me as an active participant in the diversity program of the school. I'm a minority and a multi- color campus is a welcome atmosphere. The Ph ilipino American Student Union (PASU) is one group that I'm planning to join. Stanford perfectly represents my past environments that I will never forget. It is a retrospect that will relieve the stresses of college and nurture my learning for the future.

-The beginning seems a little unnecessary, I'd consider trying to get to talking about Stanford specifically sooner in your essay. Yes, connect Stanford to your past but don't focus on your background. Be specific to the school and the qualities it possesses.

Undergraduate / GW Honors Program - "perpetual quest for knowledge" - Over the Word Limit (HELP?) [6]

I took IB for the challenge. As pedestrian as it may sound, I am on a perpetual quest for knowledge. Whether it was being enrolled in all of the "Gifted and Talented" classes in elementary school or taking a combined AP/IB schedule in high school, I have always wanted to learn more in a rigorous academic arena. It is this desire, and these special characteristics that have driven me to apply to the University Honors Program.

- Throughout my whole life I have opted to take challening classes- from "Gifted and Talented" to AP/IB- and as pedestrian as it may sound, my desire for a more rigorous academic arena has led me to continue the perpetual quest for knowledge. It is this desire that has driven me to apply to the University Honors Program. (Maybe something along those lines? Cuts back about 20 words, tried not to change the meaning too much.)

-Also, look for little things like instead of saying "very much familiar with" just "very familiar with"; "This type of environment is the type in which I do my best work" to "This is the environment in which I work best"

"Calvin Coolidge once said, "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence...persistence and determination alone are omnipotent..." and with him I agree completely . I may not have the highest GPA, or the highest SAT GRADES but I can and will work incredibly hard and believe that the Honors Program at your university would provide me with an optimum learning community in which I would undoubtedly perform at, and perhaps above expected standard"

-I would consider editing out the part about you not having the highest grades altogether.. Do you want to draw attention to that?
-Check for repetition; it seemed there were some points you put a lot of emphasis on that maybe you don't need. Just say something once, one way, and they'll get the point.

Hope this helps!

Undergraduate / "I love music and I look foreward to meeting you" - Stanford future roommate essay [5]

then you're in luck because
- I'd change the you're to you are. Yes, it's supposed to be an informal letter to your peer but I still feel like since it's a college app, no contractions is the way to go.

Good overall though! Like those before me have said, your voice really shows through, which is the main point to this question, I believe.