Undergraduate / "something exotic about India" - Bryn Mawr - what I think I will gain and contribute. [3]

This is my essay for Bryn Mawr College. It's due today so I would greatly appreciate it if someone would please help review it as soon as possible! Thank you!

Please attach an essay of no more than one page telling us what you think you would gain from the educational experience at Bryn Mawr and what you would contribute to the community.

I've heard it at least a thousand times: "Just write something exotic about being from India. Colleges love that stuff." But I like to think that I am unique for reasons beyond just my Indian lineage. After all, how unique does that make me in comparison to a population of over a billion?

As it so happens, my answers to both questions in the prompt are about living in India, but have little to do with the fact that I am of Indian ethnicity or that I am surrounded by people who make curry and wear saris.

Who I am, what I hope to gain, and what I think I can contribute are all products of my experience in India as a multidimensional country. I was born into the ostensibly open-minded upper middle class of Indian society, where double standards are more carefully concealed than in the rest of the nation, but are equally prevalent. Parents enroll their children into the most liberal schools, but continue to enforce their own beliefs and customs upon them. In such a society, my Hindu mother and Muslim father are a rarity. They both live by their own belief systems, and have never imposed their views on me or on each other, thus creating a home environment that has stimulated, nurtured, and shaped me without requiring any blind acceptance or thought conditioning. I have been given the freedom to view the world with no preconceived thoughts or notions, through my own lens and to form my own opinions. In a community where even my closest friends, from their equally "open-minded" families, have to, to some extent, abide by their parents' beliefs, the freedom I have been given is golden. It is this freedom that has molded me into the analytical, rational person I perceive myself to be. I can never accept anything at face value, and find myself questioning every aspect of my world. I feel that this attribute is conducive to creating an engaged and enthusiastic student body, and to fostering an intellectually stimulating environment.

For a country bursting at the seams with so many vibrant cultures, India is relatively backward when it comes to genuine open-mindedness and acceptance, and overcoming this is the key to bridging the divides in India, and allowing us to progress as a nation. I believe that this can only be achieved through the right sort of education: the sort that a liberal-minded, open community such as Bryn Mawr offers, and there is nothing more appealing to me than the prospect of being part of the community of inspiring and independent young women that is Bryn Mawr College.

Undergraduate / "At first, only a superficial attraction" - Why Emory [4]

Please review my essay? The problem I always have is that my essays turn out too generic. How can I fix this?

Many students decide to apply to Emory College based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons for making Emory College a possible college choice, why is Emory College a particularly good match for you?

I first heard of Emory when a classmate mentioned that a friend had just been accepted to the college. The response she received consisted of "Wow"s, "Good for her"s and "That's impressive"s. At that moment I wanted to be this mysterious Emory freshman-to-be. I wanted to be talked about in this way when I was in college.

That day I went home and researched Emory, and I certainly was impressed. At first, I felt only a superficial attraction, but as I dug deeper, I grew more and more attached to the college. It seemed perfect in every aspect, from the world renowned professors and 7:1 student to faculty ratio, to the incredible study abroad program.

I was impressed by the Presidential Award for General Community Service that the university won in 2008. Being actively involved in community service has made me realise how much of an importance it holds in my life, and the community service opportunities at Emory, particularly The SPAN project, appealed to me greatly.

Emory's other major hook was its diversity and open-mindedness. I have lived all my life in the ostensibly secular India, where, in truth, animosity exists between every community and religion. It would be refreshing for me to finally be exposed to an environment devoid of social stigma, and to be able to associate with people from a variety of backgrounds and cultures. The diversity of the campus would open my eyes to new ideas, and at the same time make me feel welcome and at home.

Emory College would provide me with the intellectual stimulation I crave, and mold me into the person I aspire to be, and I can think of no better place to spend the next four years of my life.