Undergraduate / "Culture and experience" USD SUPP- feedback [2]

USD Question: As a Catholic University committed to building a more inclusive community, we value students with diverse backgrounds and experiences. Briefly explain how your unique background and interests will contribute to our community.

As a person of Saudi Arabian nationality, I come from a community very different from the American one. Where I am from, most women wear veils, men wear white robes, and traditions are uncountable. I admire and respect all of my country's traditions, but, in all honesty, I do not apply them all. Even though my attire is very much American/European and my hairstyle is very frowned upon by elder Saudi Arabian women -they simply can not realize that a girl has to have extremely short hair after chemotherapy-, I am still proud of my traditions and try to integrate them into my daily life. I also, without a doubt, have the highest respect for others' traditions. I have been around the world and have met people of various nationalities and ethnicities. I always try to gain as much knowledge of their cultures as I can and introduce them to mine- if they are interested. To me, there is nothing more exciting than sharing details of exotic ways of life.

I have had many life experiences involving illnesses, education, social encounters, and all other fields of life. Also, I have been into culturally foreign homes and have seen how American, British, Spanish, Moroccan, Egyptian, Irish, and Greek families live firsthand. I enjoyed the experiences I had in their homes and the more-than-amazing dishes they served. All in all, I enjoy living in a diverse community and believe it is the key to creating a better future for humanity. I try to gain as much out of diversity and others' experiences as I can. The USD community is filled with all nationalities, which is one of the main reasons why this school strongly appeals to me.

Undergraduate / "Inspiration or hard work?" STANFORD SUPPLEMENT [2]

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Inspiration or hard work? This was the question posed in a recent English debate assignment. It was a controversial question which triggered a long, internal discussion within me. Inspiration is present in all of us, but only appears when we are in the right place at exactly the right time. It acts as a mental stimulus for all great projects worthy of mention and eminence. It is the first arrow on the path that leads to the threshold of greatness and creativity.

I congratulate those who have been inspired, but what good is inspiration without diligence? Is it enough to have a great idea or epiphany and sit on the porch, waiting for it to imminently come to life? No, it is not, or else we would be living in havoc. Hard work may not seem as miraculous or anomalous as inspiration, but it comprises the steps that bring us close to the threshold of greatness. Although inspiration's importance can not be disregarded, it was finally obvious to me that hard work was the most important.

Inspiration may be the first piece of a 200-word puzzle, but hard work is the remaining 199 pieces.

Undergraduate / "Drivers in Saudi Arabia" Stanford roommate- feedback [5]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Hey roomie,

My name is Reema Alhumaidan-difficult to pronounce, I know, but I will help you through it! I have lived my whole life in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia, but frequently spent my summers in the U.S. Even though I am a city girl, one embarrassing fact about me is that I cannot drive. In Saudi Arabia, women are not allowed to drive and therefore must acquire drivers or beg their dads or brothers to drive them. You might think this is a form of indulgence, but, believe me, it is torturous. So, you will have to put up with me and my diving lessons. I will finally be able to drive myself to the gym!

I see my body as my own personal temple, which is the reason why I enjoy running at the gym and eating healthy, organic fruits and vegetables. I enjoy reading books that are intellectually engaging, watching movies with unpredictable endings, and listening to music that makes me feel mellow -although I must confess I indulge in pop music and chick-flicks every once in a while. I will watch anything that involves Michael Douglas or Christian Bale. We should watch two movies the first week we meet-one of your favorites and one of mine.

I'm also a family girl; I love my grandparents and try to spend more than two evenings a week with them. This may come as a shock to you, but they are very fun to be around! I really do enjoy my time with them. I will miss them terribly, but I hope I will get along with you even better than I get along with them.

Sincerely,
Reema

P.S. I may be the only girl you have ever met who does not like strawberries.

What sort of transitional word could I add at the beginning of the second paragraph?
What is the correct use of a dash?