katiek777
Jan 17, 2011
Undergraduate / What group do you belong to? (multiple cultures) -- University of Michigan [6]
I belong to a very special community. It encompasses multiple cultures and millions of people across the world. It is the community of Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein. True to Martin Luther King's "I have a dream speech," this community does not discriminate based on a person's race, culture, or ethinicityit just sounds better in my mind, using accent made it sound kind of like your making a joke. It is more idealistici'd find a different word, like idyllic than even the most ideal governments today and only judges a person based on his or her achievement, skill, and success. It does not relegate the "poor" to the bottom most rungs or the "rich" to the top most spectrums. The community I am talking about is, of course, theprominentunless your going to mention a specific branch, this just seems odd scientific community. We are united in this community not by a desire for monetary gain but by a common dedication to the truth.
In this community, I am merely a sapling in the edge of a huge primeval forest, the most overlooked spectacle.I understand why you said this, but unless your going to elaborate it just seems self-depreciating It is in this place that most crucial development of my life occursThis sentance feels ackward. It is here that the most integral component, the foundation, of my knowledge is solidified and my goals made lucid through the process of learning and growth ; my future is merely an addition to this continually expanding fountain of knowledge.You want to be a part of this community, then be a little forceful about it My position right now also entails choosing the most important determining factor of my future, college.Are you debating going to college in general? or just which college or which major? Be specific. With the aid of an excellant college education, I will continue moving towards my goal and emulating the great men who have come before me become a towering member of this communityThis last part is just my idea, but your final sentance needs rewriting, whether you take my idea and run with it or not.
I love the idea of identifying yourself with science instead of an absract societal idea like race or ethinicity, plus you really view yourself as a part of it which is just inspring to read. GOOD LUCK!
I belong to a very special community. It encompasses multiple cultures and millions of people across the world. It is the community of Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein. True to Martin Luther King's "I have a dream speech," this community does not discriminate based on a person's race, culture, or ethinicityit just sounds better in my mind, using accent made it sound kind of like your making a joke. It is more idealistici'd find a different word, like idyllic than even the most ideal governments today and only judges a person based on his or her achievement, skill, and success. It does not relegate the "poor" to the bottom most rungs or the "rich" to the top most spectrums. The community I am talking about is, of course, the
In this community, I am merely a sapling in the edge of a huge primeval forest, the most overlooked spectacle.I understand why you said this, but unless your going to elaborate it just seems self-depreciating It is in this place that most crucial development of my life occursThis sentance feels ackward. It is here that the most integral component, the foundation, of my knowledge is solidified and my goals made lucid through the process of learning and growth ; my future is merely an addition to this continually expanding fountain of knowledge.You want to be a part of this community, then be a little forceful about it My position right now also entails choosing the most important determining factor of my future, college.Are you debating going to college in general? or just which college or which major? Be specific. With the aid of an excellant college education, I will continue moving towards my goal and emulating the great men who have come before me become a towering member of this communityThis last part is just my idea, but your final sentance needs rewriting, whether you take my idea and run with it or not.
I love the idea of identifying yourself with science instead of an absract societal idea like race or ethinicity, plus you really view yourself as a part of it which is just inspring to read. GOOD LUCK!