Posts by sakura0v0

sakura0v0

Jan 8, 2011

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Should the government choose university subject for students? [3]

there is an important meaning that the government provides academic subjects for undergraduate students. ~~This is because~~ (i do not think it is necessary), if the number of students increase in certain subjects, the nation should compensate a lack of professionals in particular area with new employees.

an employees' deficiency
Students' rights to choose study subjects also vital to consider about their fairness and equality
how about ...the rights ,students to choose study subject,also ...
Although, the government's choice may affect national economy, I think a respect students' rights outweighs the former theory.
why do not write more like...the government's choice may affect national economy,however,this is not the only option. community can increase the econmy by deveioping the travel sector. I think a respect students' rights outweighs the former theory.

add some details can make the it more nice

sakura0v0

Jan 8, 2011

Writing Feedback / ielts: cultural heritage used to attract tourists and promote tourism [6]

thanks a lot
before the essay,l have never think about culture shock
it is a nice concept to put into the essay about culture

sakura0v0

Jan 5, 2011

Writing Feedback / University is the place where people seek to further develop their expertise [4]

I agree with john ,this structure alway appear at toefl write~
my teacher alway cut my long sentences into several short
.
i hope it can help you ,though I only got 6 last time..

sakura0v0

Jan 5, 2011

Writing Feedback / ielts: cultural heritage used to attract tourists and promote tourism [6]

Any feedback is welcome!

essay:some people think cultural heritage should be used to attract tourists and promote tourism,while some think that would damage cultural heritage.discuss.

Cultural heritages, like the old china culture，old India culture, the Maya culture, and so on, are the gift that the ancestor left to us. All of them show the development of human. How to make the gift more useful to the local society?

A major number of people consider we could exploit the gift into the travel industry. In one hand, the traditional culture can better understand and appreciates by a wider range of those who travelling the places. In the other hand, national economy can benefit from the culture travel. Relevant business, such as traffic sector, shop sector, hotel sector, can have a deep development. Finally, it can enrich people's live from trip to different place.it is a good way for the people have a nice holiday after work.

Nevertheless, some worried about it. They hold it will pollution the nation culture place, white trash can be saw everywhere in the place which were opened to the public, many trees were cut to build the hotel. Even more, some of the travelers like to carve their name at the place they had been to. And a large number of visitor also maybe a burden on the preservation of cultural relics.

In my mind, use it to attract tourists is good to develop the country economy. Of course, cultural heritage may be damaged in someway, however, it can be avoided as long as the local government powerful regulation and supervisions. And we can limit the number of visitors in some special sites everyday.