Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY The importance of robots and their influences [3]

Hello! I nedd help with my grammar and organization! I appreciate anything you can suggest!

Full title: Some people believe that robots are getting increasingly important in our lives. However, others think robots are extremely dangerous. What is your opinion? Why?

In today's modern life technology have contributed in people's lives in many ways. Especially robotic systems with artificial intelligence can perform many industrial duties and getting to be increasingly important for some people. However, there are those who think that robots have negative affect for people and can bring extreme danger in the future. These points of view must be addressed accordingly.

Today, it has been proven, that robotic systems have benefited in many ways. For instance, few robots have helped children with developmental disabilities; others have improved the health status of people with different deficiencies. People who have experienced therapy robots in their lives have commented that robots brought confident in their lives as well as solved problems with their health. The other fact is that in some industrial countries robots are helping children with deficiencies to develop faster and have influenced positively to their behaviour.

However, some people consider that robots may be extremely dangerous for people. One reason for this is that robots have artificial intelligent and they cannot replace human intelligent in solving different problems. For instance, few robots have started to operate in some hospitals and it is very dangerous for patients, as robots cannot be responsible for their action. Secondly, robots may pose the possible increase of unemployment in the future. This can be evidenced, as employers will choose robots' work force instead of human beings', because robots do not need any salary, moreover they will not complain or feel sick.

After analyzing these two points of argument I think that robots should not replace human beings with doing different kind of jobs, because no machine can replace human intelligence as well as cannot be responsible for their action. Moreover production of high number of robots can increase unemployment rate in the countries.

Thank you for your time!

Writing Feedback / People who cannot work with computers will be soon disadvantaged. [3]

I'm preparing my writing skill for the IELTS examonation, that will be very soon! Hope, you will suggest me how to organize better (maybe also ideas), because I have a problem with organization, and show me my grammar mistakes.

I appreciate! Thank you!!!

Full title: Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Nowadays computers play an essential role in the people's lives. There are a huge number of benefits of computers, and all this advantages lead to make a life easier, faster and productively. In our advanced society it is clear that people who cannot work with computers will be soon disadvantaged.

Computers have contributed to the world's living standard in many beneficial ways, such as people have started to economize their time at work; consequently companies tend to become more productive and competitive. For instance, since computers have been arrived to the people's lives, the world's economies have improved progressively, as corporations started to work effectively and faster by using computers.

These days for all companies the knowledge of computers of its employees is very essential and needful. Therefore people who know computers can easier find job compare with those who do not know how to use them. The second category of people suffers, because to find a good job for them is impossible.

Moreover every single day computers and its programs have been advancing and companies are trying to know all about this changes instantly, as these changes can make their work system easier and faster. These changes are inescapable; thereby people should learn computers and its programs constantly to be appropriate of companies' requirements.

Computers improve people's lives making it easier, faster and more productive, as a result of this the world needs employees with knowledge of computers. Consequently, people who cannot work with computers will be soon disadvantaged, because companies choose those employees who can use computers better.

Writing Feedback / Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their teenagers [5]

Full title: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children.Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

Whether parents or other adult relatives should make the important decisions for their teenagers is very common for peoples' modern lives and also it is a common matter nowadays in some debates. While some people argue that teenagers need guidance from their parents or older relatives, others believe that teenagers should be allowed to make their own decisions.

Many people use to guide their children in their lives and sometimes even do not allow them to make their own decisions. Nowadays most teenagers suffer because of the dictations from their older relatives at home and wish to live independently as soon as possible. Some teenagers often talk about their problems at home with their close friends and most of these problems relate because of the misunderstanding between teenagers and their parents. It is clear that parents do not always understand their teenagers, because the world is constantly changing, which results the changing of character of people, their behavior and especially their interests in life.

However, some adults believe that teenagers have to make their own decisions which will help them to be more responsible and experienced persons in the future. Teenagers as well as adult people should have chance to live with their own choice in their lives. Probably, teenagers would make some mistakes with their own decisions, but these mistakes will only help them to be stronger and more responsible. Also through mistakes teenagers can understand the whole meaning of the life and will start to think properly before making any decision. It will help them to grow progressively and to be an individual successful person in the future. However one cannot deny that adults should see when their children need some help, because they have just started to live in the real world, and try to help them.

In conclusion, teenagers should be allowed to make their own decisions in their lives, because through their own experiences they will be more responsible, but the role of adults is still very important for all teenagers and it will continue to be in the future, as only parents and relatives can help teenagers in difficult moments in their real world and support them anytime.

I need your help.
Would you mind revising and giving a few feedback for this essay?
I'm taking Academic IELTS very soon and need to practice my writing skills, I will be happy if you meet my request.
Thank you for your advices.