Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by beccaboo3290
Joined: Sep 23, 2008
Last Post: Nov 14, 2008
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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beccaboo3290   
Nov 14, 2008
Undergraduate / 'Helper and people lover / procrastination' - two UCF essays [2]

What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
From the time I was a little girl to the present day, I have always been known as a helper and a people lover. I greatly enjoy people of all kinds and getting to know their personalities and how they think. Whenever I see someone in need of help in any form, I always try to see if there is anything I can do to help them. I have a passion for people and will do nearly anything to meet the need of an individual. Even though sometimes I am the new person in a situation, I always strive to make others feel welcome, accepted and appreciated. I delight in encouraging and uplifting people, and I like to set a good example for others to follow. I would be thrilled to be given the opportunity to be a resident assistant in my dorm because I view it as a huge opening to be able to inspire, edify, and motivate other people to be their best. My desired major is speech language pathology because I believe it to be the finest application of my talents and skills. I want a challenging program, but I also want something that will equip me to serve others. Many people have speech problems, and it can be a very frustrating thing for them. I am invigorated at the thought of being able to assist them in one of the most important forms of communication--speech and the formation of words. I realize that this process can be quite daunting and make one feel defeated. But I am determined to encourage and believe in my patients and to help them every step of the way until they are confident in their word formation.

If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
Although I have maintained good grades throughout high school, I still face academic obstacles. I enjoy taking on challenges, and for me, math and writing are two of the biggest challenges I face. Another huge challenge for me is procrastination. To overcome these hurdles, I chose to take Precalculus, AP Literature and Composition, and almost every class this year is an honors class. By doing this, I have already seen a large improvement in my mathematics skills, and taking that math class (versus Business Math) has instilled in me a motivation to succeed, learn, and grow in my academic career. Since beginning the AP Literature and Composition class, I have learned how to read and critically analyze literary works, and my writing (while I believe it can always be improved), has been further refined as well. With so many hard classes and a large work load, I have no time to slack off without risk of failing a class or earning low class scores. This rigorous class schedule has benefitted me in the following ways: it has helped me to almost eliminate entirely my procrastination problem, it has challenged and motivated me to learn and expand my mind, it has given me a genuine appreciation for learning and a love for school, and it has helped to prepare me for my future college academic life as well. While it was not easy to manage my time wisely at first, I have now learned and practiced better time management skills and have been encouraged by my success.

Being given the opportunity to attend the University of Central Florida would thrill me, not just because of the great things that the university would be able to offer me, but also for the opportunities I would be granted to serve my fellow students and the university as a whole.
beccaboo3290   
Oct 9, 2008
Undergraduate / Describe a setback that you have faced (brother) - essay [7]

elthano, I noticed one grammatical error that Gloria did not catch...
In the second-to-last paragraph, you said "A year after my brothers departure, I had..."
In this sentence, you need an apostrophe in between the "r" and "s" showing possession.
So, it should look like this: "A year after my brother's departure, I had..."

Some other little grammar things...in the first paragraph, it would sound better as this "school in first grade;" another one is in paragraph 2 "Having been used to opening up only to my brother,"

In the third paragraph, I'd make it more personal by saying "my" instead of "the"...the corrected sentence would look like this: "Finally, I found the best balance between the credibility of my family and the understanding of my friends"

I think you are missing a comma in this sentence..."I found a girl that was trustworthy and seemed to care sincerely about me, and I shared with her my silly girlish issues, but when it came to more important matters, I always discussed them with my parents."

(The rule is to always use a comma to separate two independent clauses joined by a conjunction.)
Another thing about that first sentence I mentioned...a better way to write it would be "A year after my brother's departure, I had finally resolved the setback and had become accustomed to his absence."

One last thing..."learnt" is an incorrect past tense form for "learn"...the correction should read "but I have learned"

I hope I helped you; good luck! :)
beccaboo3290   
Oct 9, 2008
Undergraduate / "million thoughts to pressure me" - FSU essay intro comments/suggestions [2]

That's cool you're a Christian too! I'm applying to FSU as well. It's my top choice. :)
That's so exciting , living in three different countries. I have never even been on an airplane, much less out of the country. lol
I think your essay has lots of potential, but there are quite a few grammatical errors. The concepts and ideas are great though. Good luck! :)
beccaboo3290   
Oct 9, 2008
Undergraduate / Live a life that is pleasing to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, FSU essay [5]

Dear Gloria (may I call you by your first name?),
The reason I did not write about the other two is because the prompt said to "describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life."

I figured that writing about Vires only would be better for me so that I could focus on it and explain it fully. If I had written about each one of these Latin words, I don't think I would have been able to do them justice given the amount of words allowed to be submitted. Do you think this essay is good enough to be submitted as is? Is there anything that you think I should omit?
beccaboo3290   
Oct 8, 2008
Undergraduate / Live a life that is pleasing to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, FSU essay [5]

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

To me, the Latin word Vires is quite complex. True strength exists in many forms, including moral strength, intellectual strength, and physical strength. Each of these three individual strengths are very important, and together they form one very powerful word that is symbolic of many ideas.

Moral strength is significant in my life because I believe it is foundational to who I am and how other people view me. I am involved with people of all ages, and many look up to me and ask me for guidance. People know they can trust me and that I will not make hasty decisions based on whim or emotions. By living a life that exemplifies moral strength, I reveal my true character as one who is respectful and well-respected. Also, I am a Christian and a firm believer in Jesus Christ. Vires, as interpreted in a moral sense, is honoring to God and living in a way that is pleasing to Him. As I want to serve God with my life, setting a good godly example for others to follow means setting high moral standards.

The next aspect of strength that is important to me is that of intellect. I have been blessed with a mind capable of learning and understanding a great deal of things. I have a thirst for knowledge and strive to learn and discover new things. When given the opportunity to challenge myself or view life from a different perspective, I seize the opportunity. I believe in always appreciating every aspect of life, and never taking things for granted. Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding are absolutely priceless to me, and I strive to explore that which was previously unknown to me in order to advance and further expand my mind. The idea of college and a whole new level of learning excites me. I have a very powerful determination and drive, and when I set out to learn something new, much can be accomplished. I believe Florida State University is the best place to further broaden my mind and equip me for the future. One of my favorite quotes is that of Oliver Wendell Holmes, which states that a mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.

The last type of strength that I hold in high regard is physical strength. Although I am not very muscular or an Olympic athlete, I still believe in taking care of my body, and I work hard to strengthen it a little each day. Over the years, I have played on many different school sports teams; my favorite was volleyball. It was unique in that readiness for this sport involved rigorous training and conditioning. To be able to hit the ball at any given moment in any circumstance requires a great level of discipline, endurance and intense willpower. Achieving goals are important as their successes are what motivate me to move forward and push myself to be all that I can be. Also, physical strength promotes living a healthy life and that will in turn lead to a happier life.

In conclusion, all three of these forms of strength tipify my life and who I am. Each type of strength coincides with the other; they all complement each other, and without each of these, a portion of the beauty and meaning is lost. I want to live a life that is pleasing to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and one of the best ways is by applying Vires to every area of my own life.
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