Ardhitya
Mar 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / Tourism: Type of company would you most like to see built in your hometown or city [4]
thank you,
thank you,
Ardhitya
Mar 31, 2011
Scholarship / "my career goal as a lawyer" - need ideas how to write this scholarship essay [4]
Well Liana, I have felt that problem before. For me
I just try to describe my experience (school, work, course friends or other) which is related to the subject of course at the first, make it personal because they want to read it. but do not to much !
Then 'show' them that you are eligible person : good for academic for example, good for people surround you, your employer, your country might be, family, easy to speak, hard worker, and so on (tell them that you are important young lady)
And the last try "to praise" them in simple word :), find their "good" or met their objective with your excess.
and of course with formal word.
Hope it work, good luck !
Well Liana, I have felt that problem before. For me
I just try to describe my experience (school, work, course friends or other) which is related to the subject of course at the first, make it personal because they want to read it. but do not to much !
Then 'show' them that you are eligible person : good for academic for example, good for people surround you, your employer, your country might be, family, easy to speak, hard worker, and so on (tell them that you are important young lady)
And the last try "to praise" them in simple word :), find their "good" or met their objective with your excess.
and of course with formal word.
Hope it work, good luck !
Ardhitya
Mar 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / Article summary about a mother telling a story about her son [3]
This article is about a mother telling a story about her son. Her son was bullied by a group of bullies. They pulled his pants down. He tried to run away by jumping outoffrom the second floor of Black S hear Elementary S chool window.
The mother says that all the bully ing started in September. She also tells that her son is a dyslexic and being called stupid andor dumb. Afterher he jumped out of the window, he has suffered minor cuts and bruises.
When he was taken tothea nurse, she (mother or nurse?)/ the nursemade him sign a " no suicide contract".
The boy doesn't know anything about the language in the contact or read some of the words.
The last 2 sentences make me confusing :) sorry
This article is about a mother telling a story about her son. Her son was bullied by a group of bullies. They pulled his pants down. He tried to run away by jumping out
The mother says that all the bully ing started in September. She also tells that her son is a dyslexic and being called stupid andor dumb. After
When he was taken to
The boy doesn't know anything about the language in the contact or read some of the words.
The last 2 sentences make me confusing :) sorry
Ardhitya
Mar 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / Tourism: Type of company would you most like to see built in your hometown or city [4]
What type of company would you most like to see built in your hometown or city. Give reasons to support your response.
My hometown is a small village in the Belitung island. This village is far from every where and lack of entertainment. Even though my place is small, this place is very beautiful place to visit. We can find a long crystal water beach, the beautiful scenery, interesting cuisines and good people. And I would like to see a tourism company that would built good hotels in front of the beach.
Tourism is need in my island. Because, fishing is the man-main job in here and selling the staple food such as rice, vegetables, sugar, oil and so on is for women. My people need to change. And I think, tourism would be the best choice to built this place. So many natural source available in here. At least we have 20 kilometers along for white sand beach, great wave for surfing, fishing and diving spots, various traditional sea food and many other un-explore tourism object. So, investors can start the tourism sector from here. And I think it would be relevant.
Then, they may built their best hotels along the beach. Cause, other infrastructures such as an air port and road are available and quite good. That hotels will attract people to come and give multiplier effect to the community. The people will get a job, the economy structure will change. And my hometown would be better than before.
To see a beautiful island with a better tourism facility such a nice hotel would make me proud. People would be happy, they can taste the atmosphere and receive the technology which the sector brings to them. My small island will be a "huge nice place to see and to visit" because of the beauty and the hotels.
What type of company would you most like to see built in your hometown or city. Give reasons to support your response.
My hometown is a small village in the Belitung island. This village is far from every where and lack of entertainment. Even though my place is small, this place is very beautiful place to visit. We can find a long crystal water beach, the beautiful scenery, interesting cuisines and good people. And I would like to see a tourism company that would built good hotels in front of the beach.
Tourism is need in my island. Because, fishing is the man-main job in here and selling the staple food such as rice, vegetables, sugar, oil and so on is for women. My people need to change. And I think, tourism would be the best choice to built this place. So many natural source available in here. At least we have 20 kilometers along for white sand beach, great wave for surfing, fishing and diving spots, various traditional sea food and many other un-explore tourism object. So, investors can start the tourism sector from here. And I think it would be relevant.
Then, they may built their best hotels along the beach. Cause, other infrastructures such as an air port and road are available and quite good. That hotels will attract people to come and give multiplier effect to the community. The people will get a job, the economy structure will change. And my hometown would be better than before.
To see a beautiful island with a better tourism facility such a nice hotel would make me proud. People would be happy, they can taste the atmosphere and receive the technology which the sector brings to them. My small island will be a "huge nice place to see and to visit" because of the beauty and the hotels.
Ardhitya
Mar 11, 2011
Undergraduate / Structural Mechanics, Theoretical Mechanics and Mechanics of Materials - Statement [5]
With the accelerating growth of urbanization, the development of civil construction has attracted more and more attention,.E specially in developing countries like china, which may face a urgent desideration of civil engineers. The program me offer me an opportunity to fulfill my dream, which provide me a better education and studying atmosphere. I hope to have the opportunity to continue toa Master then a PhD program .
desideration ? desire
Your essay good .
With the accelerating growth of urbanization, the development of civil construction has attracted more and more attention,.E specially in developing countries like china, which may face a urgent desideration of civil engineers. The progra
desideration ? desire
Your essay good .
Ardhitya
Mar 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / An adventure (a Christmas party on December) [6]
Threads: 2
Posts: 10 Today, 02:41am #1
My classwas goingwent for a camping trip on December 24th, Friday. I was very excited. Finally Friday came, I woke up early in the morning and ate my breakfast. I said goodbye to my father and mother when the bus came to send me to school, I was so excited that I almost tripped on the floor on my way out.
When I reached the school, I got down from the bus excitedly to meet my friends. We talked about the trip and decided we will go in groups. I was paired up with my best friend, Kelly.
I think your essay is good
For your first sentence if you use past cont, grammatically perfect. but we (reader) need something "past" event to complete.
Or maybe you have a reason.
Threads: 2
Posts: 10 Today, 02:41am #1
My class
When I reached the school, I got down from the bus excitedly to meet my friends. We talked about the trip and decided we will go in groups. I was paired up with my best friend, Kelly.
I think your essay is good
For your first sentence if you use past cont, grammatically perfect. but we (reader) need something "past" event to complete.
Or maybe you have a reason.
Ardhitya
Mar 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / "for a better world to live" - wealthy nations to share their wealth among other [3]
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education?
First Paragraph
Every nations is different and they has various achievement. For development countries, they are already handle their basic problem in many good treatments for a long time but for other parts of this world ; developing countries had struggle intently for theirs lacks such things as food and education. Developing countries need help to handle these. So, should other surplus nations save these problem?. The answer is absolutely Yes. because for a better world to live the development countries had realize that their surplus can solve these problems. And I will explain them in further.
...
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education?
First Paragraph
Every nations is different and they has various achievement. For development countries, they are already handle their basic problem in many good treatments for a long time but for other parts of this world ; developing countries had struggle intently for theirs lacks such things as food and education. Developing countries need help to handle these. So, should other surplus nations save these problem?. The answer is absolutely Yes. because for a better world to live the development countries had realize that their surplus can solve these problems. And I will explain them in further.
...
