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Posts by deco1919805
Joined: Mar 12, 2011
Last Post: Mar 20, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 4
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deco1919805   
Mar 20, 2011
Undergraduate / "I decided to volunteer in the hospital" - IB school [5]

Like many teenagers, I sometimes scare(am scared of ) of making decisions, of exposing my true colours...
... is logically and figuratively meaning(meaningful ?) to me.
I met a 10 years old boy- Hai Dang, who can't goes (couldn't go ) outside to feel ...
I saw the glow and tears on a mother's face when she know (knew) her sick daughter can(was finally able to read) read.

I enjoyed that project so much as those kids'upbeat energy and delighting smiles defines who I am (quite awkward,you should rewrite this). With (As for me) , the glass is always half full as I know exactly ...
deco1919805   
Mar 13, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Kon Tum, Vietnam' - important achievements and contributions(community,music)- [4]

Once I read an essay of a guy also applying for SMU,and that essay didnt have a conclusion.And as there is only 2 words left,I will have to delete a lot of things above in my essay,and it will totally make my whole essay too general.How about the words I used and the grammar?
deco1919805   
Mar 12, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Kon Tum, Vietnam' - important achievements and contributions(community,music)- [4]

This is my essay for SMU application.Feel free to criticize!Thanks in advance

Instruction:*Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)

My essay:

Life always contains moments that can fully change one's life forever. Throughout of my life, there are two events that will stay in my mind forever, for they has totally led my fate to a total different part.

The first one was the time I spent in Kon Tum, a remote province in the west highland of Viet Nam. As a participant of the campaign organized by the Red Cross Group of District Phu Nhuan in Ho Chi Minh City with the aim of fiving a free health check to impoverished people in Kon Tum, I was mainly assigned to help other members in the group to distribute medicine to the local. Moreover, I also taught English to some children in the area and help to repair houses of their parents. Days after days seeing how people in Kon Tum struggle to make a living in one of the poorest provinces in Viet Nam as well as helping them greatly influenced me, totally changed my perspective and turned myself from a naughty and self-centred guy to a more sympathetic and responsible man.

The second time I felt like my life was not the same was after my performance in the Spring Fair held in my school when I was tenth grader. Playing harmonica in front of hundreds of students was the thing I had never done before, so I was really nervous before going up to the stage. But surprisingly, when I began to play a song, all the anxiety got away, leaving behind only the melody flowing through my mind and coming out from my harmonica. Silence overshadowing the whole room after my performance was soon broken by thunderous applause from everyone. From that day, my confidence was greatly boosted, and so was my liking for music.

(298 words)
deco1919805   
Mar 12, 2011
Scholarship / "to contribute to such active learner environment" - Singapore and USA [4]

I was once an introvert but my exposure to the outside world led me to break out of my shell. One experience after another helped me improve into being the outgoing student I am today. Growing up in the capital city of Vietnam and attending one of the most diverse schools in Hanoi as well as being national champion in Chinese chess, I think I can greatly contribute to your community.

Firstly , I think my desire to success academically is always on the top of my priorities list. I attain second place in Math competition at my school so Math will be my first subject to focus on. My eagerness to learn and improve my knowledge will also lead me to achieve good mark in other courses. Self-study and paying full attention during classes also help me to better my result . Thus, with my passion and motivation in pursuing academic excellence I can be a great asset of your active learning community.

Moreover , as national champion in Chinese chess in my country, I believe my experience may be useful to help students who are interested in that activity. I have participated 7 times in national competition in Chinese chess and attained first place 4 times. With many years experience I figure out that Chinese chess is really helpful for conceptual skills which is highlight recommend for student as one of the activity to develop their mental capacity. It also brings about fun to people who play it for relaxtion after hard time studying. So I think I can contribute my knowledge to develop this non-sporting activity to enrich the high quality of activities at Sji-international school.

My commitment to community and volunteer services is also another thing that I can bring to the community. While working hard at the national Chinese club and excelling in academic achievement, I still find time to volunteer for numerous organizations. Helping to distribute goods to homeless people in the town near Hanoi along with to package presents to children in SOS village were unforgettable memories for me. My volunteer experiences have positively influenced my life and made me a well-rounded person (I think this sentence is a bit arrogant @@). I am planning to keep volunteering while attending Sji-school and it will make my college experience diverse and valuable (Unnecessary).

In conclusion, as an ambitious girl who eagerly want to perform academically well as well as having unique skill in chess and having a heart for volunteer activity I believe that I can contribute and enrich the lives of Sji-international school and make the school proud of having me as a student.

I think you you should tell more about yourself and you chess skills in the third paragraph.The three last sentences in that paragraph are just merely some facts that the admission officers can find anywhere on the internet.
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