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Posts by marzyola1
Joined: Apr 4, 2011
Last Post: Apr 23, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 8
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marzyola1   
Apr 21, 2011
Undergraduate / Business field / Better Place / Improve Education - Application short response answer [5]

While I like and applaud what you have written I think the question leans more toward education. Maybe a mandatory class in types of foods and organics, and how certain types of food that is consumed is not healthy. Once again Home Economics was taken out of the schools years ago. Part of that class was to teach children how to cook and make healthy choices.

Hope it helps
marzyola1   
Apr 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / "My friend is called Yuri, he is from Riga." - Describe a Person That You Know [4]

"He is a 16 year old." He is 16 year old and lives in a small apartment not far from Riga Center with his parents and brother.

"He spends most of his spare time playing computer games or reading interesting articles on the Internet about different thing. Of course he does some sports too, for example he likes to play football, floor ball, go swimming." He likes to play football, floor ball and to go swimming but most of his spare time is spent playing games on the computer or reading interesting articles on the Internet

"Yuri has short, dark, and little bit curly hair and girls say that his blue eyes are really beautiful. He is a tall, very well-built teenager. Apart from being fit, he is also intelligent, well-read person. He is hilarious and he smiles a lot. Yuri can always tell a good joke and his jokes are so funny. "

Yuri has short dark, slightly curly hair and girls say that he has really beautiful blue eyes. He is very tall and fit. Also he is intelligent as he likes to read. Yuri has many jokes and his jokes are very funny.

Hopefully I have given you enough examples on how to change the last paragraph. Good luck!
marzyola1   
Apr 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / "the different types of fuels used to power the United States?" -Classification essay [3]

This is the Professors Prompt for the Classification essay: What are the different types of fuels used to power the United States? What are the pros and cons of each type of fuel?

I have since revised the rough draft in which he commented on but I wanted to give you all his thoughts on the original draft to make sure I have answered his concerns.

These are the Professors concerns: The choice to limit "energy" to "renewable energy" was a sound decision and works well in this paper.

Remember that this is the "United States" or "United States of America," not "America." It's a colloquial nitpick, but an important one.

Your thesis seems a bit too definitive. Aim for a summary thesis with this paper; I think it will serve you better
Watch for pronoun-antecedent issues. For example, you write "Solar power is renewable as it shines nearly everyday." This means that "solar power" shines on us every day, not the sun. I understand what you mean, but the pronoun-antecedent error causes issues.

I don't see any clear or direct significance sentences. This is an issue that needs to be addressed--every paragraph has to directly relate back to the thesis statement


America's need for bigger, better and more has brought this country to make some hard decisions about energy. American's use energy for virtually everything. From simply turning on the facet to the vehicles that are driven, some form of energy is used. As that need becomes more and more pronounced Americans need to be looking into the forms of renewable energy to power this vast country. Renewable energy is considered to energy that does not need any other fuel to harvest or maintain itself. It has an unlimited supply. Renewable energy is energy that is powered by the sun (solar), water (hydro), and geothermal.

Energy harvested from sunlight is called solar power. Solar power is renewable as it shines nearly everyday. It is a good energy option because it is nearly limitless and available all over the United States. Solar power is non-polluting so therefore environmentally friendly. Solar energy does not require any other fuel to produce energy. The potential for solar energy is infinite. On the other hand, the initial investment for solar energy to be harvested is very costly. Another problem with solar power is the sun does not shine 24 hours a day so there is a storage issue. The solar panels used to harvest the sunlight to be converted to energy can be easily damaged by the weather.

Energy that is harvested from water is called hydro power. Hydro power is another great power option because like solar power it is limitless. Hydro power does not use any other form of fuel to produce energy. Hydro power does non-polluting so it is environmentally friendly. Operating costs at the plants are usually low, because the plants are mostly automated. The main drawback of hydro power is the ecological destruction of the land. The building of dams has caused earthquakes at the sites. These dams used to create hydro power can not be built anywhere therefore they are geologically challenged. Dams are also considered to be dangerous because of the potential structure damage and the flooding it could cause.

Wind energy is a renewable energy source. Wind power is non-polluting. It is environmentally friendly because it has a low impact on the land. It does not need any other fuel to produce energy. There are a few drawbacks of wind energy. There is a persistent amount of noise level associated with the wind turbines. Wind turbines decrease the beauty of the landscape. Wind turbines can be easily damaged by weather. The biggest issue with wind turbines it the wind does not blow 24 hours a day, so again storage is needed. They are location focused where the wind is strongest. The initial investment is expensive.

Lastly is geothermal energy. Geothermal energy uses the heat of the planet to make energy. It is consider to environmentally friendly. This type of energy does not need any other fuel to produce energy. Geothermal energy is considered to be clean as the impact on the land is low. On the other hand, this type of energy is very expensive to harvest and maintain. The initial investment is very costly. Geothermal energy is geologically challenged. It can bring toxic chemicals that are beneath the earth onto the surface and create environmental changes.

Since renewable energy does not involve the burning of fossil fuels, they offer numerous environmental benefits. Different renewable energy sources are available all over America. While Americans want more and need more, turning to renewable energy is the only option. Using renewable energy will enhance the loves of Americans.
marzyola1   
Apr 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / Grading students and test scores - are they benefitial for improving students? [3]

"Students always need to some motivations for doing their homework and study their lessons. "

This sentence could be changed to read: Students will always need some form of motivation to complete homework assignments and to study their lessons.

There are a number of grammer errors in this essay.

"For example, they know if they get high scores in their courses they will get gifts, be encouraged by their parents and teachers, and have more chances to enter in upper grades at university ."

What do you mean by gifts? Gifts from parents, teachers, money? What type of gifts? Explain that further.

Hope it helps
marzyola1   
Apr 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / A Good Employee Definition Essay [6]

I am writing a definition essay and the following is the prompt: Define a "good employee." What are the qualities or skills that a good employee needs, and what are the things that a good employee will avoid doing in the work place?

Professors input was as follows:Your paragraphs often mention the consequences of not having a particular characteristic, for example "An employee that is not dependable can cause over-time issues as well as conflicts between co-workers," but don't explore the consequences of having such a trait. Make sure you explore both.

As has been stated, the last paragraph needs to be developed more. This is a good start, and a solid attempt at a full circle essay, but you need to develop it more, revisiting your points and thesis as well.

When the manager walked into the lobby he was shocked. Shocked at the lack of professionalism the receptionist was displaying. The receptionist was talking on the telephone and playing a video game, instead of greeting the residents in which employ her. The receptionist did not acknowledge the manager as he made his way to the office. He became very annoyed that the receptionist did not display the characteristics of a good employee. A good employee is dependable, knowledgeable, is a team player and has tact.

Dependability is a very valued trait for an employee to possess. Arriving to work on time shows co-workers and management that the position is valued, and desired. An employee that is not dependable can cause overtime issues as well as conflicts with co-workers. Overtime issues arise because; in today's economy employers do not want to pay the extra money. Conflicts between co-workers happen when someone is constantly late. Being dependable in an emergency situation is crucial. An employee who becomes hysterical will only add confusion to the situation. A good employee is dependable.

A knowledgeable employee is proficient in their position. They understand the requirements of their job and what is expected of them by their co-workers and employer. Hindrances come when an employee takes a position they are not qualified for, nor do they understand. A willingness to learn by mistakes made and the mistakes of others will only improve the overall performance of an employee. If an employee is unwilling to learn to improve themselves it will hold an employee back from the possibility of advancement. Jobs are constantly changing and evolving, therefore having an openness to grow and learn with the changes are characteristics of a good employee.

Another characteristic of a good employee is to be a team player. Many jobs or projects require employees to be part of a team or special group. Team work is vital to the success of every business. Employees that strive to help others meet goals and deadlines are team players. Those who are not team oriented cause morale issues and become burdens to their fellow co-workers. Morale issues develop because someone feels they are doing more work then someone else. Burdens happen due to the other employees not putting forth their best effort or by not handling their share of the work or project. An employee who contributes to the team and can lead it toward overall success is a good employee.

Lastly, tact is another characteristic a good employee will display. A good employee will not belittle themselves or their superiors in front of others. Although, they will address the problem or concern they will do so behind closed doors and with diplomacy. A good employee will not repeat tasteless jokes that are ethnic or religious orientated, as they will not want to offend others. A good employee will demonstrate a sensitivity and awareness to other people and cultures.

As the manager began to reflect on the actions of the receptionist, he realized, she did not possess any of the basic characteristics of a good employee. A good employee takes pride in themselves as well as his or her place of employment. At that moment the manager knew he would have to replace the receptionist. He began to write an ad for good employee that was dependable, knowledgeable, could be a team player and has tact.
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