xyzyanxue
Apr 17, 2011
Writing Feedback / We all want to make big diffirences in our life, -Education [6]
Thanks, Kevin. :-)
Thanks, Kevin. :-)
xyzyanxue
Apr 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / We all want to make big diffirences in our life, -Education [6]
As the speaker said in the statement, we all want to make big diffirences in our life, in other words, to get succeed and this is the purpose of the school education.But the really problems are how to define success and how the educational institutions know which field will likely to succeed.so in my view I fail to agree with the claim as follow described.
For the educational institutions, their functions main in to supply a more resources,forexample,more books are useful and more place to study, for the students, to hire more outstanding teachers for the students rather than to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.Because from my perspective of success, the most significant factor for it is not the others but interesting.As the verb said that the interesting is the best teacher.When the institutions proved the various useful and abundant courses and recourses,giving the students the rights to select which major they may be interested in, and then give the appropriate guides for them to grasp the main ideas of their major.Without interesting, your give a student a major which may be likely to succed,they will learn the knowledge only for the perpose for get a degree then could have the opportunity to enter the fields. Could you expect they can make a big difference?The answer may not be yes at most situations.
But as the educational institutions, it is the obligations to make the student know more about the major they will take part in. To tell them the challenges they will be confronted, and to let the know no matter which field they wanted in is full of chances and challenge,as the the German writer and political philosopher Marx said, There is no royal road to science,and only those who do not dread the fatiguing climb of its steep paths have a chance of gaining its luminous summits.
In sum, we could draw the conclusion that if the students want to make a success in some fields,try to enter in which with him/her interesting rather than the institutions want you to invove.
这些是用word就可以检查出来的错误，以后希望这些自己先更正了再贴上来。注意分段空行，还有标点后空格，以及大小写。
你的论点有三个：
1，教育机构应该提供的是教育资源（更多的书，学习场所，以及好的老师），而不是花时间在劝阻学生
2，兴趣是最好的老师，有兴趣+不易成功 VS 没兴趣+易成功
3，但是教育机构又有义务告知学生：他们所选择专业的背景+前景+挑战
这样看，是不是调整一下文章结构更好呢？
As the speaker said in the statement, we all want to make big diffirences in our life, in other words, to get succeed and this is the purpose of the school education.But the really problems are how to define success and how the educational institutions know which field will likely to succeed.so in my view I fail to agree with the claim as follow described.
For the educational institutions, their functions main in to supply a more resources,forexample,more books are useful and more place to study, for the students, to hire more outstanding teachers for the students rather than to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.Because from my perspective of success, the most significant factor for it is not the others but interesting.As the verb said that the interesting is the best teacher.When the institutions proved the various useful and abundant courses and recourses,giving the students the rights to select which major they may be interested in, and then give the appropriate guides for them to grasp the main ideas of their major.Without interesting, your give a student a major which may be likely to succed,they will learn the knowledge only for the perpose for get a degree then could have the opportunity to enter the fields. Could you expect they can make a big difference?The answer may not be yes at most situations.
But as the educational institutions, it is the obligations to make the student know more about the major they will take part in. To tell them the challenges they will be confronted, and to let the know no matter which field they wanted in is full of chances and challenge,as the the German writer and political philosopher Marx said, There is no royal road to science,and only those who do not dread the fatiguing climb of its steep paths have a chance of gaining its luminous summits.
In sum, we could draw the conclusion that if the students want to make a success in some fields,try to enter in which with him/her interesting rather than the institutions want you to invove.
这些是用word就可以检查出来的错误，以后希望这些自己先更正了再贴上来。注意分段空行，还有标点后空格，以及大小写。
你的论点有三个：
1，教育机构应该提供的是教育资源（更多的书，学习场所，以及好的老师），而不是花时间在劝阻学生
2，兴趣是最好的老师，有兴趣+不易成功 VS 没兴趣+易成功
3，但是教育机构又有义务告知学生：他们所选择专业的背景+前景+挑战
这样看，是不是调整一下文章结构更好呢？
xyzyanxue
Apr 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / [GRE] I-3-AW-NO.1 - Salt - Education [2]
3) Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Education plays a key role in determing one's opportunities for success. Granted that educational institutions are among the most influential factors in an individual's intellectual development and the choice of career path. Therefore I could understand why many people assert that educational institutions should guarantee the fields students pursued are not unlikely to succeed. However, in my view, as mature and rational individuals, students have the right and obligation to design their own life.
First, educational institutions, neither for-profit nor not-for-profit organizations, have no right to prevent students from pursuing dreams no matter how ridiculous those dreams look like. Technically, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another. However, as independent mature human beings, individuals do not have to follow the crowd. For example, Dr. Dian Fossey, the famous American zoologist, who undertook an extensive study of gorilla groups over a period of 18 years, dedicated her whole life to protect the endangered mountain gorillas. Although Fossey's life was cut short, her work makes significant differents to primatology. Let us image that if Fossey were persuaded by the educational institutions to continue her study in a business course in college, which seemed much more prospect in the public perception, instead of taking the bull by the horns and devoting herself in biology, we would never see the famous zoologist Dr. Dian Fossey and the endangered mountain gorillas might completely die out already. Therefore, educational institutions should not leave in lurch their own purpose, which is schooling or training people in certain fields, to interfere with student's careful decision on career path.
Secondly, I doubt the criteria for judgement of whether a field of study is one of those in which students are "unlikely to succeed" or not. As a matter of fact, what we can judge is only whether a subject is less popular or not, but this has no direct connection with achieving success. Success does not just means wealth, fame and power. Finding out what matters deeply to you and effective ways to take action, with highly developed sense of accountability, audacity, passion and responsible optimism, no matter what subject you choose, you could achieve success. There are so many cute examples from the winners of Ig Nobel Prizes which honor achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think. For instance, last year's medicine prize went to Simon Rietweld and Ilja van Beest, who discovered that symptoms of asthma can be treeted with a roller-coaster ride. Maybe this example is somewhat excessive, but we can learn that individuals can make differences in any certain field. On the contrary, if millions of people pursued the top popular speciality, like a narrow footlog bridge, the majority would be certain to fail.
Admittedly, however, careers advisory service and specialized subject recommenation, given by educational institutions to help students who are confused by numerous genetic terms pick out the most suitable majors, are profitable and reduce the burden of "deciophobia". But the final decision still should be made by students themselves.
In conclusion, with the freedom of individual development, the social purpose of education, which is passing on knowledge and preserving diversification of culture, would be better served.
3) Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Education plays a key role in determing one's opportunities for success. Granted that educational institutions are among the most influential factors in an individual's intellectual development and the choice of career path. Therefore I could understand why many people assert that educational institutions should guarantee the fields students pursued are not unlikely to succeed. However, in my view, as mature and rational individuals, students have the right and obligation to design their own life.
First, educational institutions, neither for-profit nor not-for-profit organizations, have no right to prevent students from pursuing dreams no matter how ridiculous those dreams look like. Technically, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another. However, as independent mature human beings, individuals do not have to follow the crowd. For example, Dr. Dian Fossey, the famous American zoologist, who undertook an extensive study of gorilla groups over a period of 18 years, dedicated her whole life to protect the endangered mountain gorillas. Although Fossey's life was cut short, her work makes significant differents to primatology. Let us image that if Fossey were persuaded by the educational institutions to continue her study in a business course in college, which seemed much more prospect in the public perception, instead of taking the bull by the horns and devoting herself in biology, we would never see the famous zoologist Dr. Dian Fossey and the endangered mountain gorillas might completely die out already. Therefore, educational institutions should not leave in lurch their own purpose, which is schooling or training people in certain fields, to interfere with student's careful decision on career path.
Secondly, I doubt the criteria for judgement of whether a field of study is one of those in which students are "unlikely to succeed" or not. As a matter of fact, what we can judge is only whether a subject is less popular or not, but this has no direct connection with achieving success. Success does not just means wealth, fame and power. Finding out what matters deeply to you and effective ways to take action, with highly developed sense of accountability, audacity, passion and responsible optimism, no matter what subject you choose, you could achieve success. There are so many cute examples from the winners of Ig Nobel Prizes which honor achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think. For instance, last year's medicine prize went to Simon Rietweld and Ilja van Beest, who discovered that symptoms of asthma can be treeted with a roller-coaster ride. Maybe this example is somewhat excessive, but we can learn that individuals can make differences in any certain field. On the contrary, if millions of people pursued the top popular speciality, like a narrow footlog bridge, the majority would be certain to fail.
Admittedly, however, careers advisory service and specialized subject recommenation, given by educational institutions to help students who are confused by numerous genetic terms pick out the most suitable majors, are profitable and reduce the burden of "deciophobia". But the final decision still should be made by students themselves.
In conclusion, with the freedom of individual development, the social purpose of education, which is passing on knowledge and preserving diversification of culture, would be better served.