Writing Feedback / All my life i had been wrong and now i had to pay! [12]

The sun had given us a new life and we were grateful to it creator.
it's

that's the only mistake I could find :)

Essays / how to work on directed writing [14]

i was told to not attempt descriptive because you need a good grasp of figures of speech like personification metaphors and similes. Besides this, you are not suppose to use I or My in descriptive. For example if you are describing your grandparents you can't write ' I was so pleased to meet him' an so forth

i second meeshal that you must not include dialogues in narratives
so i guess story is the easy way out

Writing Feedback / [IELTS]should children be made to obey the rules? [4]

You have presented substantial arguments on both sides and concluded with your opinion. That is a good way to construct you essay. There are, however, a few grammatical mistakes that need to be highlighted.

That is to say,for the purpose of stablize society and make it function regularly,
for the prupose of a stable society or for better functioning and stability of the society

children need to be imparted with the sense of obey the rules in advance as a preparation before growing into working adults
with the sense of obedience for rules

Speeches / "homosexual adoption" - speech class [5]

If it wasn't for the last line, i would assume you were speaking in favor of the topic. Try to shorten the part where the mother gets pregnant and emphasize more on why the mother would not choose the homosexual couple for her baby