Undergraduate / very short essay- family opbligations [2]

2. Do family obligations limit your participation in extracurricular activities? If so, please describe: max 950 characters

I have some family obligations that limited my ability to participate in some extra curricular activities. For example. my brother has some difficulties learning and I helped him overcome this setback. Almost everyday we study together and I help him with his homework. Ever since I started tutoring him, he's been getting better grades and making more friends at school. I also take care of the big family yard and the pool. This past summer, for example, a tropical storm blew one of our palm trees in the pool. I had to call a troop of landscapes who, with my help, managed to get the tree out of the pool and back in the soil. These are simple tasks in my everyday life that I have to take care of, and although I might have missed out on some extra curricular activities, I am glad I was able to help out my brother and my family.

Undergraduate / 'difficulty learning' - UCF ESSAY - BUMPS IN THE ROAD [2]

hello everyone! i hope you guys are having a great day! I recycled this essay from another application and i made some major changes, so its basically a whole different thing...

There have been many obstacles in the long road I took to get where I am today. One of them, however, stands out the most because it not only changed where I lived and what my environment was, it also change who I am and how I perceive things.

Although I live in the United States now, I was born and raised in Brazil. I grew up in the middle of a strong and emotionally connected family. If anyone had asked me five years ago if I could imagine living outside my comfort zone, I would have said no. Little did I know that in the next few months my life was going to be completely transformed.

My dad has worked his entire life drawing and managing shoe lines. When I was young, he was always traveling to distant places like Italy, China, and the US. The businesses in Brazil were prospering, but all of a sudden, our region started to go into a recession. My dad's company was compromised and his bosses offered him the chance of a life time: move to the US and start life from zero.

My family and I were devastated with the news. After all, my entire family lived in the same city, and leaving would mean missing all the fun. My parents, however, saw this as a great opportunity to give me and my brother an unforgettable experience. At first, I was really upset that we were leaving all our lives behind to create a new one in a foreign country. The last few months in Brazil flew by, and in the blink of an eye, we were boarding to our new adventure, the United States of America. I had visited the US before, but knowing we only had a one way ticket gave me a bitter feeling. The moment I stepped outside of the airplane, however, I felt lucky because I realized I had been given a once in a lifetime chance to become a better, more cultured person.

When I arrived in the US I had to face a road full of bumps. My English was limited, and I knew the United States was nothing like Brazil. Customs and traditions were different, and I learned this the hard way. In Brazil, when we greet people we usually exchange a light kiss on the cheeks. In the US however, there is this thing people like to call a "personal bubble" that should not be popped, and since I didn't know any better, I was constantly crossing that boundary. It wasn't until my english teacher gave me an american cultural lesson that I stopped doing that. Although I like many of the traditions practiced in the US, I have not completely "americanized" the way I am. I believe that being from a different country brings a lot to the table and it is a break from the ordinany. All my friends love my accent and my experiences from another culture.

It wasn't long before my parents found a good school district to move into. Although I had finished seventh grade in Brazil with excellent grades, the principal at my new school chose to hold me back due to the language. At first, I wasn't looking forward to repeating half of something I had already completed, but soon afterwards I realized that learning the language was more important. Ever since that moment I have been pushing myself harder and harder to keep getting straight "As". As I got used to English, I also began to value things like teamwork, creativity and innovation. The way everything was organized and respected amazed me because all of my friends were always doing something that in some way or another would benefit the school. It didn't take me long to adhere to those activities.

Days turned into years and eight grade was coming to an end. Since we had purchased a house, I thought we had settled in Boston. My father, however, had another trick up his sleeve. He told us he had gotten another job in Florida, and in a couple of months we were going to be living there. I was dispirited. I had been laying the foundation for my HS years since I had moved to Boston, and moving meant all those foundations had to be abandoned. After all, making new friends, getting used to a completely different culture and being 3,000 miles away from your family is not easy. Doing it twice definitely takes a lot of emotional strength.

We moved to Jacksonville in January 2007. Not long after that my parents bought a house and I started going to BTHS. Although I missed Boston, it didn't take me long to start feeling like I was part of something special. For example, my new friends noticed that I was still a bit upset about the transformation my life had taken and decided to make me feel better about moving. They invited all of their friends over for a barbecue and I was introduced to everyone. Since I had an interesting background and many thrilling stories to share, I had no problem making friends.

I take every opportunity I am given to learn, and I never hesitate to help others in their studies. I have always pushed myself to the best of my abilities, however, I didn't take honors classes in my 9-10 years because English was still challenging me. In my Junior year, however, I began taking AP and Honors classes. Those classes pushed me to my limits but I managed to raise the bar once again and maintain my 4.12 GPA. Besides studying, in my leisure time I joined clubs, tutored my brother, and worked 20 h/w in a grocery store.

My HS years were sensational. I joined many clubs and always engaged in school events. I joined Mu-Alpha-Theta to share my interest for mathematics with the school. Because I know how difficult life can sometimes be without a helping hand willing to pull you up, I joined the Key-Club to help others. My friends convinced me to join the Photo-Club because all I would talk about was my love of capturing life's most interesting moments and sharing them with the world. Today, I look back and remember all the good times I had while in those clubs and I look forwards to our next meetings.

My brother has difficulty learning and I helped him overcome this setback. Almost everyday we study together and I help him with homework. Ever since I started tutoring him, he has been getting better grades and making more friends at school. I am very proud of being able to help my brother, and although he takes it for granted sometimes, I know he will appreciate my help in the future.

Along the years I have succeeded in many environments, and I can never thank my parents enough for taking the risk of moving into a foreign country. I can proudly say that with a lot of effort and dedication, I overcame those bumps, and I can proudly say I am in the top 9% of my graduating class of 656 students. This entire experience has shaped my life from then on. I now know I have the capacity and ability to overcome whatever life throws at me next. I also learned to appreciate what I can do with my life as well as life itself. With these lessons learned from this experience, I am confident I can excel at the University of Central Florida.

thanks you everyone ;]

Undergraduate / personal history - FSU to get accepted in college [2]

Sorry about the lenght, but i would really appreciatethe help. hammer it if you want, i can take criticism :]
would you accept me into your college after reading this?

Although I live in the United States now, I was born and raised in Brazil. I grew up in the middle of a strong and emotionally connected family. The definition of family, in my opinion, is not only the blood relations, but also friends who care for each other. If anyone had asked me 5 years ago if I think I could survive living outside of my comfort zone, I would have probably said no.

My dad has worked all his life drawing and managing shoe lines. He was always traveling to distant places like Italy, China, and the United States. The businesses in Brazil were prospering, but all of a sudden, our region started to go into a recession. My dad's company was compromised and his bosses offered him the chance of a life time: move to the United States and start life from zero.

My family and I were devastated with the news. After all, my entire family lived in the same city, and leaving would mean missing all the fun. My parents, however, saw this as a great oportunity to give me and my brother an unforgettable experience. At first, I was really upset that we were leaving all our lifes behind to create a new one in a foreign country. The last few months in Brazil flew by, and in the blink of an eye, me, my brother and my parents were boarding to our new adventure, Boston MA.

I had visited the United States before, but knowing we had a one way ticket gave me a bitter feeling. The moment I stepped outside of the airplane I felt really lucky because I realized I had been given a once in a lifetime chance to become a better, more cultured person.

It wasn't long before my parents found a good school distric to move into. Although I had finished seventh grade in Brazil with exellent grades, the principal at my new school chose to hold me back because of the language. At first, I wasn't looking forward to repeating half of something I had already acomplished, soon afterwards, however, I realized the importance of education. It also set the bar really high for my grades since I was getting straight "As". As I got used to English, I also began to value different things like teamwork, creativity and innovation. The way everything was organized and respected amazed me because everyone was always doing something that in some way or another would benefit the school. It didn't take me long to adhere to those activities.

Days turned into years and eigth grade was coming to an end. I thought we had settled in Boston for good since we had purchased a house, but my father had another trick up his sleeve. He told us he had gotten another job in Florida, and in a couple of months we were going to be moving there. I had been preparing myself for high school in Boston, and knowing that everything would change again was making me melancholic. My dad noticed our insecurity and he decided to take us all to Jacksonville, FL for a weekend trip so we could see what our lifes would be like. The moment I saw the breath-taking beaches and noticed how nice people there were I changed my mind.

We moved to Jacksonville in January 2007. Not long after that my parents bought a house and I started to go to Bartram Trail High School. It was very different from my high school in Boston because everything here had a southern aspect that I enjoyed. Although I still talked to my Bostonian friends, It didn't take me too long to make new friends and feel like I was part of something special. They made me feel very welcome and that is why I love Florida so much and plan on staying here for college.

My high school years were sensational. I joined many clubs and I always engaged in school events. Because I have a thorough understanding of math and its principles, I joined the Mu-Alpha-Theta club to share my enjoyment of mathematics with my school. I also joined the Key Club because I never hesitate to help others. I feel acomplished by knowing that I made a difference in someone else's life. Another club I joined was the Photo Club because I like to take pictures, and above all, I love to use photoshop to manipulate images and make them into something out of the ordinary. Similarly, I joined a newly founded club called To Catch a Fire, where we discuss about peace, freedom, and its contributions in today's society. Today, I look back and remember all the good times I had while in those clubs and I always look forwards to our next meetings.

I have also been helping my brother, who has difficulty learning, overcome this problem. Alomost everyday we sit together at the dinner table and I help and assist him with his homework. Eversince I started tutoring him he has been getting better grades and more friends at school. I am very proud of being able to help my brother, and although he takes it for granted sometimes, I know he will appreciate me help in the future. Although it is only twice a year, every time I go back to Brazil I take a day off and help out the community. Last time I went me and my family help restore a house that is now occupied by a blessed family.

I have always been an intelligent person, especially when it comes to school. Because English was still a bit challenging to me, during my Freshman and Sophmore years I took regular classes. I studied very hard and managed to overcome the language barrier and got exellent grades. During my Junior year I began to take honors and AP classes that challenged me to keep raising the bar. With effort and dedication I maintained my 4.16 GPA. Now during my Senior year, I am still taking classes that challenge me, and since seventh grade, I have been getting straight "As".

With all those club memberships and school work I thought it would be hard to balance a job in the equation, but I was willing to give it a try. I was hired on March 2007 to work as a cashier for Winn Dixie. Since then I have been getting raises and bonuses for the great job. I still work there today, and I balance a 20 hour/week job with school and clubs to get exellent grades. This job has taught me how to handle money, deal with costumers, and help maintain a clean and organized work space.

I have broken many cultural barriers, and I would be a great addition to the FSU family. I am a friendly, loyal and clearly dedicated individual who has an ambition to succeed in any given environment. I have an extensive experience as a devoted student and I love to learn. I am always up to a challenge whatever the situation. I get along well with others, but I also work efficiently on my own.

THANK YOU SO MUCH,
leo

Undergraduate / "Vires, Artes, Mores" each been reflected in my life ; Froeign student from Brazil [NEW]

The Latin words "Vires, Artes, Mores" have each been reflected in my life in some way or another. These morals when taught the right way can positively lead an individual into a successful path. These words have not only guided the students at Florida State University, they have made also me the person I am today.

Vires signifies moral, physical, and intellectual strength. This moral has been extremely beneficial through all my high school years whether it is by trying to achieve a straight "A" average or just trying to fit in. With dedication and the values of vires I have achieved both of those merits among many others. Friendships, studies, and injuries have tested me in the past year and with the guidance of Vires I was able to chose right from wrong.

Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft or art. Since I was a little boy I've been interested in creative pottery. Although many people take pottery for granted, It has taught me many useful skills in life. For example, to make a vase I have to create small coils that individually do not seem to make a big difference in the overall construction. In the end, however, every coil comes together to create an inspiring piece of art. Similarly in life, small actions I made may not have been pivotal at the time, but in perspective, each and every one of them have made me the person I am today.

Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Growing up in Brazil I heard people saying character is who you are when no one is around. I completely agree with this saying. I never hesitate to help others whether it is by tutoring friends or giving away the last dollar in my pocket to a hungry friend. I lead by exemplary character and all my friends trust me. Although I am not from the United States and English is not my native language, I have broken this cultural barrier with determination and effort. I have learned leadership skills and I constantly raise the bar in order to achieve success in all areas.

Whether it is by raising the bar in academics or helping others, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have guided me into becoming a successful person. I plan to continue excelling at Florida State University. If I am accepted, I will bring with me all of these attributes and more in my quest to becoming as successful as possible.

I would really appreciate if you could revise my essay.
thank you so much, Leo