Undergraduate / Columbia Essay ("I am an artist.") [2]

I really need some feedback on the content of this essay...Also, if there are any grammar or spelling errors please feel free to correct.

Heres the Topic:
Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences which have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world - the people in it, events great and small, everyday life - or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well.

I am an artist. The world is my canvas and as I paint with my pallet of knowledge, the color and texture of my understanding come to life. This of course is a metaphor for my life. In actuality, I am a terrible a painter. In fact, my best pieces are probably a few finger painted stick figures I made in Kindergarten. Nonetheless, I am an artist in the broader interpretation of the word and as academic and spiritual strengths describe who I am, my life is dramatically embodied in the beauty of intellectual pursuits which reveal why I am.

Strength, unmistakably characterizes who I am in several aspects of life. Morally, my strength and ability to achieve exemplary standards are a direct result of my relationship with Jesus Christ which has compelled me to live an honest, respectable life despite many varying influences within everyday high school society. Academically, my application, transcripts, and resume speak for themselves as it is evident that I have both the potential and reputation for producing superior work.

However, these strengths have largely developed through an artistic outlook on life and a burning desire to look beyond the basic components of a point and dig deeper into a whole other creative world which allows me to pursue learning as an art or lifestyle rather than a task. Therefore, the beauty of intellectual pursuits immediately identifies with me. I remember the first time my English teacher ever told me to "Get out of the box!" With a puzzled look on my face as the words reverberated through my ears and into my mind I thought, "Where is this box and how did I get in it in the first place?" As I wrapped my hands around this concept that I learned meant to remove the constraints of one-way thinking and consider deeper aspects of a point, I began my quest for the solution although it did not take long for me to realize that this "out of the box" method was not as foreign as I had originally thought. After all, it was my pursuit of the deeper meaning of my mother's commands to "Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you" that led me to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ in the first place.

Just as an artist pays attention to fine details within a picture, I always look for the small, seemingly insignificant beauties in life such as the serenity of ducks as they float in a uniform row, across a lake's surface at twilight. Even as an aspiring Pre-Medical student and eventual Cardiothoracic Surgeon, my scrupulosity in addition to my scholarship are characteristics that enhance my abilities and capabilities to strive at Columbia University's level because I have come to understand that the concept I discovered in English class was not simply a writing method, but a way of life. The artist's way of life.

Undergraduate / Health Care; UM / Issue of Importance(personal, national, international) [4]

How can I make this essay connect better? How can I improve my last paragraph?
I think this essay is either really good or really bad. I'm not sure so I need some advice. please and Thank You!

Topic:Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

Our United States constitution declares that all humans are entitled to three common rights: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But how can we have life if we cannot afford essential medical procedures, medications, and aides. How can we be free if we are unnecessarily held captive to the confines of a death bed? And how can we pursue happiness realizing that capable, life-saving, healthcare providers are inaccessible to us due to lack of insurance or money in our pockets? The answer is that we cannot. The healthcare crisis has balooned into an unavoidable eyesore in our society and ultimately, something must be done to provide oppurtunities for Americans to receive affordable health coverage.

As a first generation, lower-middle class, Jamaican-American, I have learned from a tender age that money does not grow on trees, my family would probably never win the lottery, and there was no multi-million dollar inheritance check coming our way. Basically, as a close-knit, but economically burdened family, all we had was a roof over our heads, food on the table (most days), and love in our hearts; anything else was considered a luxury and a great blessing from God. Until just recently, health care had never even been an tangible option for my parents and so I have witnessed firsthand that the fear and anxiety that comes with the uninsured mother of three who has just noticed a lump in her left breast, or the constant headaches and uneasiness associated with a diabetic, hypertensive individual barely able to provide the next meal for his family much more to pay for blood pressure and blood sugar medications.

Unfortunately, these predicaments I have watched my parents suffer through are only two illustrations of the harsh realities of the over 47 million adults in the United States living without health insurance and it does not begin to describe the history of the 22,000 individuals that don't survive to become part of the statistic. However, as a prospective student for the University of Miami, I aspire to continue my steps up the health care ladder to become part of an integral network of medical professionals that will provide the best quality care to patients of all financial backgrounds thereby making America and ultimately the world a healthier place.

Undergraduate / "I am an artist." FSU essay...I need help...Is it too out of the box? [2]

Describe how one or more of these values [Vires, Artes, Mores] embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

I am an artist. The world is my canvas and as I paint, the mixture of diverse tones and colors on my pallet of intellect illustrate the passion within my masterpiece which is my ultimate impact on humanity. This of course, is a metaphor for my personal philosophy but although I do view life through the eyes of an artist and see my intellect as the instrument through which I will make change, on a concrete level I am a terrible a painter. In fact, my best pieces are probably a few finger painted stick figures I made in Kindergarten. Nonetheless, I am an artist in the broader interpretation of the word and although "Vires" and "Mores" are both concepts that embody my lifestyle, my life is dramatically reflected in the concept of the Latin word, "Artes".

As an artist--one having superior skill or abilities to produce superior work-- Artes is a word that immediately identifies with me. From my application, transcripts, and resume it is evident that I have both the potential and reputation for producing superior work but unlike many other individuals my age, my work is a result of my passion for learning as an art or lifestyle, rather than simply completing the minimum requirements to "make the grade".

The most hated class I've ever taken was world history during my sophomore year of high school but not because I disliked history or because it was my very first AP class but because it was so easy! Don't get me wrong, the course itself seemed very intense and there should have been loads of reading and studying involved in order to pass the class. However, an average class period with Mrs. Osborn consisted of dragging into class with little hope of actually learning, enduring a completely irrelevant and tedious lecture about King Ferdinand which would somehow drift into a twenty minute tangent on her planned trip to Las Vegas after she wins the lottery, and finally concluding with the disbursement of an elementary homework assignment which everyone finished before the bell rang for second period. Occasionally, she'd inject an open book quiz on homo-sapiens or a notebook check worth 50% of the class grade into her lesson plans.

Although I received A's all year long and a boost in my GPA, I left the class with little more knowledge about world history than what I had went in with. Unable to endure another year of not learning history with Mrs. Osborn, I opted to take American history at a community college my junior year. Although the straight A's I toiled for weren't worth as much credit as the A's I would have received in the AP class, my craving for knowledge was nourished as I worked hard under the teachings of an experienced professor who took my education seriously and at the end of the year, the knowledge I gained was more than worth the sacrifice