Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kchafe
Joined: May 17, 2011
Last Post: May 21, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 8
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kchafe   
May 21, 2011
Graduate / School of economics, Osaka University - My Statement of purpose Msc. in management [4]

It is tough to correct them without the context of the entire essay, but I gave it a shot! Here is how I would correct them:

I am interested in both modules on Aviation Management and Business and Management Science.I believe that both of these fields are important because they combine the traditional benefits of Business with a focus on the aviation sector; this results in maximum value for Business in aviation. I would like to understand the industry's complexities from a business management perspective and apply this knowledge to the to aviation industry.

The need to build up my knowledge in business administration, along with my deep interest in aviation, has strengthened my desire to attend the Management Science and Business Administration program. This program would add to my skill-set and education, allowing me to move on to the next level of management.

Good luck!
kchafe   
May 20, 2011
Graduate / Physiology and Biophysics: MSc admissions essay (neurophysiology) [5]

Thanks for the suggestions! The main idea that I want to convey is that my background has really prepared me for graduate work in neurophysiology.

I will mention things that MADE me a motivated student to add specifics -- my good grades, lab work, volunteer experiences. I will also mention that my honours project was in synapse formation and that that prepared me for grad work in the field of synapse function.

Thanks again :)
kchafe   
May 19, 2011
Graduate / Outline your research interests - MSc admissions (physiology) [4]

Hello! There is a supplementary document required for my program which asks applicants to outline their research interests. The letter is to be no longer than one page. I spoke with my supervisor about it and he told me to begin with a very broad statement and to narrow it in until I reach my specific project goal. I would appreciate any insight -- I've read and re-read this so many times that I can no longer tell if it sounds alright!

---------------------------
To Whom It May Concern:

I developed an interest in the human brain at a very young age: my favorite childhood book was a cartoonish text that outlined the function of the nervous system. In fact, I was so awed by descriptions of experiments conducted by neurologists such as Broca and Hitzig that I decided I would like to someday conduct research of my own. I held on to the idea of studying neuroscience as I progressed through high school and gained a more advanced knowledge of biology. I ultimately chose to complete my undergraduate degree at D***** University entirely because it offered an undergraduate neuroscience program, promising a unique academic experience. 


As my undergraduate career unfolded, I was astounded by the scope of neuroscience classes available to me. I took a wide variety of classes because I felt that this was my chance to experience, first hand, a large array of scientific techniques and to figure out which aspect of neuroscience was the best fit for me. By my fourth year I had begun selecting mainly cell-based courses such as molecular neuroscience and biochemistry, which allowed me to appreciate the importance of intricate neural mechanisms and interactions at a cellular level. 


A third-year independent research project and honours research project completed in Dr. SK's lab further directed my interest towards synaptic plasticity. I now believe that the key to understanding the complexity of human neural networks lies in the study of the basic connective unit between cells of the nervous system. I have hopes that study in this area may someday lead to better understanding and treatment of diseases characterized by the failure of neurons to communicate, such as epilepsy. If accepted into the MSc program, I would like to continue working with Dr. SK while studying calcium fluctuations at pre-synaptic nanodomains. These fluctuations play a role in altering the strength of synapses, which has important implications in topics of learning and memory. I am determined to gain further education in this field so that I may someday conduct independent research in neural plasticity. 


Thank you for your consideration.
kchafe   
May 19, 2011
Graduate / PhD copy (an application for an Immunology PhD) [3]

Don't worry about the lack of experience! Focus on the little experience you do have and do not be afraid to build it up with your writing. Write as much as you can about the lab work and research project -- what skills you learned, any particular strengths, etc. You can also mention classes that were meaningful to you and which really focused your research interests. I do not think that non-science related work and volunteer experience is relevant.

Most school departments do not mind students contacting them with questions such as this! Asking questions does not make you appear as a weak candidate, it makes you look interested!

Best of luck
kchafe   
May 19, 2011
Undergraduate / Nursing: Admissions essay for prompt: why did you choose healthcare? [8]

I think this essay is very well organized! The writing itself is very descriptive which conveys your intelligence to the reader, and I get the overall impression of a very strong desire to work in the nursing field (which is, obviously, the aim of the essay) I do not see anything I would change.

If the essay is submitted as is, I think you will have a very strong application. Best of luck!
kchafe   
May 17, 2011
Graduate / Physiology and Biophysics: MSc admissions essay (neurophysiology) [5]

This is my first attempt at an admissions essay and I would therefore appreciate any feedback you can offer! Even if you have no particular suggestions, please let me know about paragraphs that sound awkward, repetitive or incomplete.

Instructions for this admissions letter are as follows: Briefly describe your educational and/or professional experience (including publications, awards and employment), your graduate programme goals and your reasons for wanting to attend D***** University. Explain any gaps or deficiencies in your academic record.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------

To Whom It May Concern:


 I am writing to submit my application for the MSc program in Physiology and Biophysics. I am already enthusiastic about being a part of this department and feel that I would be a strong asset to the lab where I complete my graduate work.

First and foremost, I consider myself to have been a highly motivated undergraduate student. While completing my BSc in neuroscience at D***** University, I participated in a wide variety of extra-curricular and co-curricular activities including a two-year executive council position with the Undergraduate Neuroscience Society. My involvement with UNS was a vital component of my undergraduate experience because it allowed me to meet like-minded neuroscience students and faculty and be a part of a small community within my department.

I have always been interested in scientific research; I chose to complete an independent research project in my third year of university to further explore this interest and gain first-hand experience working within a research laboratory. I completed this project in the lab of Dr. SK and this was a period of tremendous learning for me. I saw that research not only requires a great deal of practice in lab techniques but that flexibility is vital to deal with unexpected results or problems along the way. I had such a positive experience with this small project that I opted to complete a neuroscience honours project in my final year to better prepare myself for graduate work in a related field.

As with my third-year research project, I undertook my honours study under the supervision of Dr. SK. I feel that my long-term involvement in this lab has allowed me to better understand and appreciate the work that goes into scientific research. It has also heightened my interest in contributing to future research in synaptic plasticity. Being accepted into this Master's program would not only allow to me develop a deeper knowledge of neurophysiology, but also provide me with the skills necessary for carrying out independent research in my future studies and, eventually, my chosen profession.

I chose to apply to D***** for several reasons, the first of which is its reputation as a research-intensive university. I also thoroughly enjoyed my undergraduate studies at D***** and felt it to be a very student-focused environment with many dedicated staff members. Most importantly, I enjoyed the work I have done with Dr. SK. I learned quickly under his supervision and became increasingly interested in his research; I would greatly appreciate the chance to continue to work with him during my graduate studies.

You will notice on my transcript that I received a failing grade in CHEM2401 in fall 2009. At this time, I was living in a very stressful and turbulent environment that negatively impacted my ability to focus and to regularly attend classes. I re-took this chemistry class after correcting the problem and received an A, which I believe demonstrates my ability to learn from mistakes and my determination in achieving academic goals. Despite the set-back I experienced in this difficult semester, I managed to graduate with a cGPA of 3.7 


I am a very hardworking and motivated student. I am confident in my ability to meet the high standards and expectations of a graduate program and believe I would make a great contribution to your department. 

Thank you for your consideration.
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