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Posts by sunglyeol
Joined: Jul 25, 2011
Last Post: Jul 31, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
From: Korea, Republic of

Displayed posts: 7
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sunglyeol   
Jul 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / Parents should not allow their children to watch television so they are good students [NEW]

TOPIC : DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT?
Parents should not allow their children to watch television so that they can do well at school.

Today, television is the indispensable item in the house. This item makes children laugh and give a lot of information. It`s seem to be helpful to children, so lots of parents allow their children to watch the item. However, I think that the box is not good for children. There are two major reasons why so: televisions get rid of the time to prepare the school and there are so many bad ingredients in the goods.

First of all, the television decreases the time to prepare the school activities. Children have lots of homework, so they should have time to study by themselves. If they don`t have the time, their school grades could down. In my experience, in elementary school, I always loved to watching the television. At that time, I was unable to concentrate on the other things such as school assignments, hanging out with friends and playing in outdoor. Then, I had some trouble in school; grades were decreased and friends left me. Therefore, parents have to supervise whether their children watch the television.

Moreover, the square box has lots of bad elements such as violence, sexuality and slang. These elements can influence to the children. For example, research team studied that how the elements which are released at the television affect to the child. They compared with two groups. The one group was children who watch the television for a month and the other groups is the counterparts. The result of the study is interesting. The first group had anxious and leak of concentration, but the other group did not have the symptom. This study tells us how the stupid box is harmful to the young people. Therefore, parents should never give children a permission of watching the stupid box.

In conclusion, I claim that parents should know that the television is not good for children, so they have to forbid their child watching the stupid box. Because the box takes lots of time to study and has a number of bad elements.

HAVE A NICE DAY :-D
sunglyeol   
Jul 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / "attended a catholic school" - Experiences that define you as a person [4]

I attended a catholic school for five years in elementary and i transferred to a public school when i was in grade six.
-> I attended a catholic school for five years in elementary. Then, I transferred to a public school when I was in six grade.

How did my classmates learned to speak in rude way to everyone whether its an adult or not?
-> How did my classmates learn to speak in rude way to everyone whether it` s an adult or not?

I think there are more errors like capital letter or other things.
sunglyeol   
Jul 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Ambitious dreams are better than realistic goals. [7]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Ambitious dreams are better than realistic goals.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A substantial number of people think that having ambitious dreams is the best answer for the people, because they believe that dream is bigger, success is bigger, too. However, I claim that realistic goals are better than the others. There are two major reasons why so: to catch a specific plan and to reach the goals quickly.

Firstly, people who have realistic dreams can design the concrete scheme for accomplishing the goals. The dreams is realistic, in other words, it is possible to reach the goals, so you can have a specific plan. Thus, I think that the realistic goals are more important than the counterparts. For example, in my experience, I had a dream to go abroad, America. It is a possible dream, so I opened the notebook, searched the internet and design a concrete plans. Then I could accomplish the goal, going to America. However, if I have a dream to be a millionaire, it may be very difficult to make a plan, because it is too tremendous dream, so maybe I don`t know how I design my plans. Therefore, I claim that the realistic goals are better than the ambitious dreams.

Moreover, the realistic goals are not only with catching specific plans, but also reaching the goals quickly. This is because that realistic goal is smaller than the ambitious one, relatively. Thus, I argue that realistic dreams are helpful to reach the goals. For instance, let`s assume that you have goals which are small and can be achieved. You can achieve the dreams, pile these things and make a success. Yet, if you choose the ambitious goals, you should accomplish the something you want, very hard, because ambitious goals are too big, so it is difficult to make possible schemes. For this reason, I recommend that picking the realistic goals is the way to go to the success.

In conclusion, I announce that having the realistic goals is better than catching the ambitious dreams. Because you can design more specific plans and reach the goals more quickly, when having the realistic dreams.

I`m waiting for your feedback. :-)
sunglyeol   
Jul 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / In order to solve the problems , people should review the past. 【TOEFL EASSY】 [5]

I think there are some errors. :-)

History is a controversial topic in today's society, were it left for me to decide whether people need to review the past to solve the problems of the present and the future or not.

Admittedly, there are old sayings; ' looking into a brass mirror you may trim your garments',' Looking into a single soul, you find out how well you rule', 'Looking into the histories, you foresee the destiny of your nation'. To review the past is to read the history.

I hope my feedback helps you
sunglyeol   
Jul 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - The government should support science research [12]

TOPIC : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The government should support science research even if it doesn`t have any practical use.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think that investing science is not necessary because there are a number of practical fields which is not supported by the government. However, in my opinion, I believe that the government should have to fund to science. There are two major reasons why I think so: the science is father of the other fields and it can be investment of the future.

First of all, the science is a fundamental ingredient of many studies. Many fields, from agriculture to engineering, are affected by the science, directly or not. Thus, the country should aid scientists who study the natural science. For example, I read a report which showed what if development of science didn`t exist, people`s life could be changed very depressed. Our life is composed of a lot of materials, such as computers, cell phones even papers, which are made of byproducts of the science research. Therefore, I cannot imagine how we can live without the science, so I claim that the government has to fund to science study.

Moreover, the science research is not only the elementary study, but also investment of the future. In other words, the science studies have a potential power of prosperity. Thus, I suggest that the nation should help the science research team. For instance, substantial number of nations already have invested the science research team. This is big deal, because, in the future, technologies equal money. This is the reason why the other countries are hanging on the science research. Therefore, the government should invest science study because of ready for the future.

In conclusion, I claim that the government has to aid the scientist who studies nature science. It is because the science is father of the other study and it can be competitive power in the future.

I`m ready for your feedback :D
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