Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 12

TOEFL - The government should support science research


sunglyeol 3 / 5  
Jul 26, 2011   #1
TOPIC : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The government should support science research even if it doesn`t have any practical use.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think that investing science is not necessary because there are a number of practical fields which is not supported by the government. However, in my opinion, I believe that the government should have to fund to science. There are two major reasons why I think so: the science is father of the other fields and it can be investment of the future.

First of all, the science is a fundamental ingredient of many studies. Many fields, from agriculture to engineering, are affected by the science, directly or not. Thus, the country should aid scientists who study the natural science. For example, I read a report which showed what if development of science didn`t exist, people`s life could be changed very depressed. Our life is composed of a lot of materials, such as computers, cell phones even papers, which are made of byproducts of the science research. Therefore, I cannot imagine how we can live without the science, so I claim that the government has to fund to science study.

Moreover, the science research is not only the elementary study, but also investment of the future. In other words, the science studies have a potential power of prosperity. Thus, I suggest that the nation should help the science research team. For instance, substantial number of nations already have invested the science research team. This is big deal, because, in the future, technologies equal money. This is the reason why the other countries are hanging on the science research. Therefore, the government should invest science study because of ready for the future.

In conclusion, I claim that the government has to aid the scientist who studies nature science. It is because the science is father of the other study and it can be competitive power in the future.

I`m ready for your feedback :D

soshianet 16 / 47  
Jul 26, 2011   #2
because there are a number of practical fields, which are not supported by the government.
This is a big deal, because, in the future, technologies equal money.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jul 28, 2011   #3
...there is a number of practical fields which are not supported by...-----------See the 2 changes I made?

There are two major reasons why I think so: the science is father of the other fields and it can be investment of the future.----I like this thesis statement!!! Great job.

First of all, the science is a fundamental ingredient of many studies. Many fields, from agriculture to engineering, are affected by the science, directly or not.---Do not use THE with science.

You did correctly use THE with COUNTRY:
Thus, the country should aid scientists who study...---Excellent.

Therefore, I cannot imagine how we can live without the science, so I claim that the government has to fund to science scientific study.

In conclusion, I claim that the government has to aid the scientists who study natural science. It is because science is father of the other areas of study, and it can be a source of competitive power in the future.

:-) Great job!!!!
OP sunglyeol 3 / 5  
Jul 29, 2011   #4
Thanks for your feedback :-)

I should practice hardly.
Neil zhang 3 / 7  
Jul 29, 2011   #5
hardly means rarely DOES NOT mean diligently andn industriously

practice hard is OK
shipima 1 / 1  
Aug 24, 2011   #6
I think what your essay is OK. We also can write this essay in scientific research's use and why should supported by government?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 30, 2011   #7
I should practice hardly.

Zhang made a good point. Practicing hard is not the same as hardly practicing. That is a riddle for you to figure out. :-)
Lindabrown 2 / 3  
Aug 30, 2011   #8
Many fields, from agriculture to engineering, are affected by the science, directly or not

it should be modified to
Many fields, from agriculture to engineering, are affected by science both directly or indirectly.
just a suggestion, the first sentence works as well. I just thought multiple commas in a sentence might seems confusing
abc1400 17 / 32  
Aug 30, 2011   #9
It is exactly 300 characters and you mention 2 reasons. very good
basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 8, 2011   #10
In the first paragraph, "in my opinion" is synonymous with "I believe".
So it is better to remove one of them.
ghafarimahsa 15 / 41  
Sep 9, 2011   #11
SL Lee,
Your essay is so nice, in order to make it more meaningful I restate some of your sentences. I hope it will help you.

This is big deal, because, in the future, technologies equal money ( by upgrading technology, the country will be able to make more money)

Therefore, the government should invest inthe science studiesbecause of ready for the future. ( to guarantee the future of county

In conclusion, I claim that the government has to aid the scientists who studies nature science. It is because the science is father of the other study and it can be competitive power in the future.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOD LUCK
hjy222 1 / 1  
Sep 10, 2011   #12
I think you got a nice start though strating with 'some people' are generic..
however, i feel that conclusion is a little bit week..


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL - The government should support science research