Writing Feedback / IELTS> effects from using computers everyday; 'overuse and misuse computers' [3]

Hi everyone, please help correcting my essay. Many thanks.

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People have different views about the use of computers. While there are good arguments in favour of letting children use computers whenever they want, I believe it is better to limit the hours that children can spend on using this form of modern technology.

There are some obvious advantages young children can get from using computers regularly. First, if a child uses a computer to keep accounts, to create document, or to run a software, either for entertaining or studying, he or she could have great computer skills which would be a big help in his or her working life. Second, computers are being increasingly used in shopping. When being connected to the Internet a computer is very helpful in purchasing many different products or services online. If the children can get this benefit from using computers, their life can be a lot easier.

However, without the supervision from adults, children often misuse computers. They are easily attracted by electronic games that tend to be intense and rather violent. The player is usually the 'hero' of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centred and intensive to others.

Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction. Spending time with other children and sharing nonvirtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.

In conclusion, it seems that the main point is to make sure that young children do not overuse and misuse computers. Parents should allow a specific amount of time for their children to sit in front of a computer and encourage them to learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and interact with other people.

Writing Feedback / IELTS LETTER> REPLYING A COMPLAINT ABOUT NOISE [2]

Topic: Your neighbours have recently written to you to complaint about the noise from your houseflat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter

- explain the reasons for the noise
- apologise
- describe what action you will take

Dear Mr./Mrs.,

I am writing to you to reply your letter complaining about the noise from my flat.

To explain the reasons for the noise, I want to say that it was because my wife accidentally broke our wooden bed and hence I had to fix it. Since it was an urgent issue and I really didn't have the time in the following morning, I work full time during the week, so I just had to do it at that night. I understand that the extremely loud noise from the hammer could have annoyed you so much and I apologize for that. I promise it won't happen again because if the bed is broken again I will let a professional carpenter do the job in daytime hours so you won't be disturbed in the evening again.

My wife has suggested that we could have a barbecue at the park nearby this Sunday, so why won't you come and enjoy the meal with us?

We look forward to seeing all of you in the party.

Respectfully yours,

Den

Hi everyone, please help by spending a little of your time to check my writing. Thank you

Writing Feedback / IELTS> HOW TO DEFINE FRIENDSHIP [2]

TOPIC: In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. Write an essay outlining how you can define 'friendship'

Friendship has always been, and will always be, defined differently by different people. What constitutes friendship to one person might be considered inaccurate by another. Despite these varying definitions of friendship, it is argued that a universal definition of friendship involves honesty as its base. This will be proven by analyzing friendship as it exists at both interpersonal and international level.

At a very primal level, friendship between people is based on honesty. A good example can be seen by looking at friends who grew up together from childhood to adulthood. In this friendship, one people could tell another the truth of almost everything in his or her life. This kind of friendship is deemed to be the truest quality and is much more valued than just an association between people. Thus, it is clear from here that honesty makes up a basic trait of a healthy friendship.

In addition, honesty also proves itself to be a crucial component of friendship between international bodies. For instance, historical inter-nation allies, such as Canada and the United States, strengthen their friendship when they act with honesty towards each other. In the case of the above two countries, sharing information pertaining to landmass security benefits both, and creates healthy inroads between them. It is therefore, even at an international level, honesty acts as the basis of friendship.

In conclusion, after analyzing the friendships between people and countries, it is no doubt that honesty plays a critical role. Therefore, friendship will never exist without honesty. It is hoped that this information would help to strengthen friendships between individuals and between nations.

Hi everyone, this is my first post. Could you guys please kindly give me your comments/corrections. Every help is appreciated!