Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by weebo_girl
Joined: Oct 6, 2011
Last Post: Nov 2, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  

From: India

Displayed posts: 7
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weebo_girl   
Oct 7, 2011
Undergraduate / 'thirst for innovation' - Essay on why i chose Biomedical Engineering [3]

This is the essay i wrote in response to the promt - "If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke." for the biomedical engineering program. Please let me know what you think. I'd love to know what i can do to make this better. Thank you :)

Science has always fascinated me. My earliest memories are those of pulling wires and coils out of an old radio set in an attempt to determine the source of the ruckus and poking my finger into a socket wondering if I would light up like a bulb. Every time I did something of that sort my father would drown me in high sounding words like resistance, solenoids and fuse, leaving me feeling like a part of some fantasy world with wriggling wires and sound producing metal boxes. This childhood fantasy continues to exist even now and explains my intense urge to open up electronic goods in my house and my attempts to use my father as a hamster on his treadmill to generate electricity. I love dismantling circuits, introducing keys and reconnecting them to see what happens. I love physics and machines. I love engineering.

But there is a slight problem here. I love biology too! Humans can build tall skyscrapers, large machines and androids but they cannot produce a living, breathing and thinking human being. The mysteries and functioning of the human body has always intrigued me. It is mind-boggling how the heart pumps continuously for 60-70years without any spare parts, a single nucleotide mutation in the human genome destroys a man's life, and the great 'feeling' love is only a chemical released by the brain!

Hence, after great thought and analysis, I decided that biomedical engineering would be the right choice for a student like me who loves medicine and engineering equally and cannot choose between the two. This course would provide me with an opportunity to work with both the human body and machines.

My interest in biomedical engineering gained a more personal reason when my mother met with an accident wherein the tibia bone of her right leg was crushed to pieces. When I saw her, I thought she would never be able to walk again. Miraculously, after 3 months she began to walk perfectly. When I read her reports, I found out that a titanium rod had been inserted to support her bone. I was fascinated by how the problem was analyzed and a suitable technology was developed. Moreover, I was grateful for all those who had worked on her cure.

I immediately knew that this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to satisfy my thirst for innovation and I wanted to serve the society by developing technology to ease the pain of patients and cure them of their diseases. I know, and I am confident that I want to do biomedical engineering and I want to study this course in the Duke University not only because it has outstanding research facilities, a brilliant campus that I'd love to stay on, and one of the best biomedical programs, but also because it would give me the opportunity to explore and develop my interests and to participate in independent studies and research. I am sure that Duke University will provide me with an opportunity to develop not only as an engineer but also as a human being.
weebo_girl   
Oct 7, 2011
Undergraduate / Personal statement incorporating existential themes such as boredom, diversion, etc. [3]

I concerned myself with things I should not have cared about-fitting in, dating, not being a "loser"-when really, I should have been comfortable with myself.

Its a good essay but it could do with a little more positive points. The essay gives the reader a feeling that you don't think too highly of yourself. I do understand that it is a reflective essay and that you have, towards the end, said that you are looking forward to the rest of your life, but i still think you should put in some lines to make it a little happier.

All the best :)
weebo_girl   
Oct 7, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Cellular Motility and Sleep Muttering' - Stanford Roommate essay [3]

On the whole, it is a good write up. You could edit it slightly, though. Why don't you tell her a little more about the place you come from and a little about some other aspects of your personality (just a few lines)? You could cut down a little on the sleep talk paragraph. Good luck :)
weebo_girl   
Oct 6, 2011
Undergraduate / "Someone to be my friend." - the topic "What drives me". [5]

Hey people! This is the essay i have written for my college applications in response to the prompt "topic of your own". I'd be grateful is you gave me your honest opinion. Thank you!

WHAT DRIVES ME

The boy gave me a long, wistful look.
"I've always longed for someone to talk to," he said. "Someone to be my friend."
I hugged him and told him that everything was going to be alright. But I suspected that even he could hear the hollowness of my false promise.

A look around my room would tell you what sort of person I am. My notice board is perpetually covered with articles about the brain, the immune system and advancements in medicine and technology. I make sure I record every program on Discovery Science and National Geographic that somehow involves biology. This captivation with biology narrows down to a profound passion for genetics. And it all started with that one day, that one meeting with the boy who changed my life forever.

I don't really believe in celebrating my birthday because I don't think it is much of an achievement to have popped out of my mother's stomach in a caesarian. I prefer spending this day with the underprivileged in orphanages and blind schools. Year after year, I meet these children on the weekend closest to my birthday, give them sweets, new clothes, and play with them. I love their company because they are guileless. Their innocent love and genuine gratitude deeply touches me. I hold every visit to the orphanage and blind school very special, but the visit I made to the orphanage on my fifteenth birthday was most memorable.

That day, I was playing with the children as usual, when I noticed a boy sitting alone on a bench a few yards away, staring at the other children in awe. I had never seen this child before in my previous visits to the orphanage. I beckoned to him to join us, but he shook his head and averted his eyes. His peculiar behavior aroused my curiosity, and I walked towards him.

The boy seemed to be around ten, with hollow eyes set in a wan face. I tried to strike up a conversation with him, but he got up and ran away. Unable to understand his demeanor, I went back to play with the other children. But this time I was not welcomed. They began to run away from me screaming, "Don't touch me!" I was thoroughly shocked, and knew something was wrong.

I approached one of the caretakers at the orphanage and narrated what had happened. She smiled and explained to me that the boy who had run away from me had AIDS. I gaped at her in amazement when she told me to wash my hands properly before touching the other children. My shock turned to anger as she continued to tell me how the boy was not allowed to play with the other children or eat with them. He was kept in a separate room, away from others, to ensure that his illness did not spread.

Her ignorance astonished me; I knew that the disease did not spread merely by touching, or playing with affected patients! Uttering a few choice curses, I ran out to look for the boy. I found him under a tree, weeping. My heart went out to him and I hugged him, telling him that I knew what he was going through. But my consolations wouldn't help ease the pain or misery. AIDS had no cure.

I spent the rest of my day talking to him and learning how pathetic life was for a child with AIDS. When he tried to make friends, all the other children would run away from him. The mental trauma he went through every day agonized me, and I left, promising to take him out someday.

That day when I went back home, I read several articles on AIDS. Terror gripped me when I read about the infections, the tumors, the dementia...I couldn't help washing my hands after reading that, the very hands that had touched the boy. And I felt guilty immediately after that; if educated people like me didn't know better, it was no wonder that AIDS patients had to lead such a sad life of isolation and estrangement.

I tried to understand why the disease was so hard to cure. This made me wonder if I could ever find a cure, if I could bring about a change in these patients' woebegone lives. For the time being, I decided to work on posters and charts to spread awareness about the disease. I wanted people to know that there was no need to ostracize those afflicted with the disease. The next week, I went back to the orphanage with a small presentation about AIDS and explained to them that it would be safe to play with the boy and eat with him.

It angered and disheartened me when I saw that my presentation had very little effect on the children and caretakers. However, I have come to accept that things don't change overnight and I take satisfaction from the fact that some children did go and shake hands with the boy after I spoke to them. I continue to hope that things will change for the better and the boy will be accepted someday.

I had known nothing about AIDS back then. But a brief encounter with this ten-year-old boy had changed things for me forever. It was only when I saw him that I realized how fortunate I am to be living the life that I have. It had made me want to find a cure for AIDS, to make a change in the miserable lives of these patients and to save the millions of kids suffering from this crippling disease, from the humiliation of isolation and social rejection. It is because of him, and other children like him, who are marooned and ostracized by the society every day that I am driven by my goal to pursue biomedical engineering.
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