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Posts by premed123
Joined: Oct 12, 2011
Last Post: Dec 28, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: United States

Displayed posts: 5
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premed123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Complexity is what makes me great' - Common App Essay [8]

Admissions know people are more than a 500 word essay. Try and pick something significant in your life something that intrigues you, something that changed you. Talk in detail about that. One well described and important subject will show the person reading your essay that yes you are a complex person but it will show them who you are. It will give them a look at one aspect of you. not barely scratch the surface of the complexity of you.
premed123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'benefits of going out on a limb and trying something new' common app [2]

PROMPT: Evaluate a significant experience or risk you have taken and its impact on you.

At summer camp in 2006, I learned the amazing benefits of going out on a limb and trying something new. My counselor pleaded with me to go on a backpacking trip. She asked me to give hiking a chance. I, with a pathological fear of dirt and bugs, acquiesced. The moment I stepped onto the trail I was hit with an overwhelming sense of both pure exhilaration and immense calm. That first step into a completely different world of tough trekking, knee deep mud, cooking over an open stove, living solely with what I could carry and no connection to the outside world, impacted my life significantly. I now wait anxiously until I can venture back into the wilderness. Through this experience I learned to accept and appreciate the unknown. I now jump at the opportunity to have a new experience, to challenge myself, and to hopefully gain numerous insights I had not had beforehand.

I walked into my first Operation Smile meeting alone, facing a classroom of older girls. I had seen a video in school and had been inspired to do whatever I could to help the cause. I took this step with the knowledge that there is no harm in taking a chance, gained from my earlier camping experience. I became involved as soon as I could and that involvement has changed my life. Operation Smile has transformed me into a confident and proactive person who can visualize an event and make it happen. Through fundraising I have approached people for donations and been turned down. If I am persistent and continue to follow through, I will see results and am consistently reassured that taking a chance is worth putting myself out there. I have been forced to step out of my comfort zone numerous times with Operation Smile, and each time I find myself taking a chance I remember the summer of 2006 and how much good could come of taking a risk. I journeyed to the International Student Leadership Conference as a freshman only knowing one other person. I roomed with three strangers and joined a team of people I did not know. Again, I took a chance and will reap the benefits of that jump for the rest of my life. Operation Smile has challenged me and shaped my life.

I sit here five years later and I realize the tremendous impact of camp transcends both its New York boundaries and its eight week calendar. It impacts the lives of teenagers like me. These experiences at camp taught me to be open to change, to the possibility of both failure and success, and that anything, even something seemingly inconsequential, has the power to alter your life forever.
premed123   
Oct 13, 2011
Undergraduate / Yale Is A Match Made in Heaven. Short answer to the why yale question. [2]

My dream college is one where I would be excited to go to lectures because of my shared passion to unravel the twisted principles of the power of the mind with the professors of psychology.

Yale Professor Marvin Chun once said, '"I came to Yale for the students.I try to teach each student as somebody, who is going to do something very meaningful and influential in life." He shares that passion with me.

Yale is a my ideal college because Yale manifests all I want in a school; excellent professors like Marvin Chun, who possess great passion and dedication of lecturing their students.

Changed some wording around and cut out some stuff to cut down the characters. It is a great essay maybe try and avoid because at the end by writing this.

Yale manifest all that I dream for in a school; excellent professors like Marvin Chun, who possess great passion and dedication for lecturing there students therefore, Yale is my match made in heaven.

Would you mind reading mine:
premed123   
Oct 12, 2011
Undergraduate / Essay describing experiences that led to my decision to enter a health field [3]

I am applying to the International Health Program at Georgetown and the essay prompt asks: Describe how your experiences or ideas shaped your decision to pursue a health profession and how these experiences or ideas may aid your future contribution to the field.

* Operation Smile is an organization that works to repair facial deformities such as cleft lip and pallate

I was sitting on a bench in a crowded hospital hallway in Bolivia when I noticed a haggard man. He had a cleft lip, and years of shame and humiliation were visible in his sad eyes. His timid nature was palpable as he stood alone waiting for his chance to be screened for surgery. I stood up and walked toward him and asked him his name in broken Spanish. He looked afraid, but then his eyes lit up; it was, I found out later, the first time someone had voluntarily approached him. I also found out he was sixty-years-old and about to have his first physical examination. He stood out to me because he was the oldest man lost in a sea of children. These children were young and resilient; the shame and guilt that had ravaged this man had not yet reached them. Meanwhile, this man's feelings could have been avoided had he lived in a country with better healthcare.

A cleft lip and palate is not a major concern in the United States solely because of the relatively easy access to medical care; this repair surgery occurs at the age of five months, while the man I met lived for sixty-years unnecessarily as an outcast. NEED TRANSITION I have watched my father struggle with debilitating kidney failure. From the time he was a teenager, he has received outstanding medical care, allowing him the comfort of knowing he can fix these issues. At the age of fifteen I witnessed my father receive a kidney transplant. He had skilled surgeons and doctors who have carefully worked the game of tricking his body into accepting his new kidney, which has worked until now. He currently has three separate types of kidney rejection, and he now faces his second transplant at the age of fifty-two, making him eight years younger than the Bolivian man who had received his first simple physical examination. These two people represent a stark contrast of the medical reality our world faces. My dad was fortunate to receive such great care, but, had been born in Bolivia, he would have died at the age of twenty-three, the age his kidney failed for the first time.

As a freshman I embarked on a trip to Boston for a medical conference for teenagers. My main goal was to learn more about a potential career in medicine. I sat in my chair and watched a video about obstetric fistula, a hole that forms in the wall of the bladder during childbirth. This defect had been eradicated in the United States in 1880, but still exists in Africa as a result of early marriage and childbirth. These women were lucky to have found a compound for women where they could live free of shame. Others had not been so lucky; they were left alone in their huts to do chores with no hope of recovery because their husbands would not travel the weeklong journey to the one hospital in Niger. This hospital had only one surgeon for thousands of people, showing a stark contrast to the medical care available in the United States where childbirth is relatively controlled in hospitals of by midwifes.

While in Bolivia I had the opportunity to witness volunteer medical professionals train doctors and change the lives of over 100 children and adults, such as the aforementioned man. I walked through the intimidating process with this man and witnessed firsthand the impact of Operation Smile. The couple who founded this organization twenty-five years earlier, Bill and Kathy McGee, was young and saw something they could help fix-the limited access to cleft lip and palate care in the Philippines. I have observed the profound change that one couple can make to millions of lives. I believe that one person has the power to inspire another, and the ripple effect will cause a change throughout the world.

My experience with the people of Bolivia and my involvement with Operation Smile shaped my goals dramatically. I had the opportunity to see the gap between health care in the United States and that in Bolivia. I have found my passion in helping those who cannot help themselves. Through Operation Smile I have also learned that if I do something I am passionate about, I have the capacity to accomplish more than I could ever imagine. Passion empowers change. Entering a health related field would enable me to follow my passion and help bring medical care to people such as the man I met in Bolivia. It would empower me to make a difference and although I could never help everyone, I can use a health related field to help some people and hopefully in doing that inspire others to do the same. As an aspiring physician, I will strive to bring health care to those who cannot access it. I have witnessed the benefits of even a simple physical exam and I strongly aim to provide satisfactory health care to people in underserved areas similar to the rural Bolivia I encountered.
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