Posts by mvlauria94

mvlauria94

Oct 21, 2011

Writing Feedback / Do violence and immorality in the media make our society more dangerous and immoral? [3]

Violence and immortality have raised many questions recently.(too plain sentence, add something catchy to begin your speech) The tough fact is that we should not apply force or any other method including military to make the problem settled down since mental illness needs mental cures. However, many ~~today~~ sociologists and psychologists today blame media for imposing bad habits ~~and violent scenes~~by showing violent scenes on the media~~on our generations~~ , making a fuss about entertainment as a whole. Instead, many factors ~~can be~~are responsible for the change ofin~~humans~~human behaviour.

mvlauria94

Oct 19, 2011

Undergraduate / 'the Economic Cooperation Framework Agreement' university of Washington, events [3]

Besides, lacking for explicitly official regulations is a major concern of the ECFA.(this sounds a little awkward and I can't really understand what you are trying to say. Try rephrasing it) Therefore, the government has to formulate corresponding measures and specific statutes to protect the suffering industries, as well as provide adequate guidance and assistance.

Secondly, Taiwan's economy heavily reliesrelies heavily on exports which in turn made(careful with verb tenses, the first verb is in present tense and now you are speaking in past tense) it vulnerable to world markets.

However, the public worryworries that China might impose trade sanctions on Taiwan once we sign the ECFA.

It's no denyingthere is no doubt that the diplomatic and military tensions have not been reduced since the ROC government retreated from China after the Chinese Civil War.

In conclusion,don't use in conclusion, try to change it for something else the true benefits and impacts brought by ECFA to Taiwan are still in debate.debatable

Even so, the agreement is described as an ambitious accord that fundamentally changes the game between the two countries and hence affects the regional economy and even the transpacific tempo for the United States

mvlauria94

Oct 19, 2011

Undergraduate / 'I love reading' - Stanford short essay question [6]

I think this is really well written but a kind of introduction in which you speak a little about yourself and what you expect of college life would be good.

mvlauria94

Oct 17, 2011

Undergraduate / 'Growing up in Venezuela' - Boston university United Nations [2]

B. BU attracts students from more countries than are represented in the United Nations. Our global presence and reputation are important and are reflected in the perspectives, opinions, and experiences of our students. Why is this type of environment important to you?

Growing up in Venezuela, I learned about all the cultural riches that my country provided; but as my horizons expanded, I started realizing that there were many other countries and cultures out there that I had not yet learned about. My curiosity for these cultures started growing with time, and now that I am about to start this new stage of my life, I am more than ready to embrace the large amount of diverse cultures present in Boston University.

As I wanted to learn more about the world's diversity, I had the opportunity to participate in summer camps in Switzerland and New York that gave me the chance to coexist with people from all around the world. As I started discovering that all these people had different qualities from which I could learn from and that at the same time they wanted to learn about me and my background, I realized that if I wanted to be successful and have an impact in the world I needed to know as many cultures as possible.

Summer camps were a great way to meet people from different areas of the world, but once again I found myself with the need to learn more. At this point I was able to participate in the National High School Model United Nations (NHSMUN) for two consecutive years. This experience took my understanding of the world to a whole new level as I had to study people living in countries such as Mauritania or Mali and analyze their ways of life in order to find solutions to the problems they faced.

All of these encounters with the foreign world made me realize that cultural diversity will be an important factor of my college life. As I learn and acquire all the tools I will need to become a successful professional, I will also need to deepen my knowledge of the world and its diversity. I am sure that Boston University will provide this opportunity better than any other school because of its enormous diversity and inclusion of cultures.

mvlauria94

Oct 17, 2011

Undergraduate / 'quality is learning' - Florida State Admissions Essay [2]

try to include more examples of learning, maybe use examples of a famous person to support your statements and try to change your use of words a little since you are repeating the same words a lot. just try to give a more in depth analysis of your learning and what you think learning is.

mvlauria94

Oct 17, 2011

Undergraduate / 'we can grow and learn' - Babson Supplement - Letter to Roomate [3]

Dear Roommate,

I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am to be here and I hope you are as well. After all our hard work during high school we finally made it into a school that is highly recognized for its academics and leadership preparation, that is why I am sure that we will receive all the tools that we need to build a successful future. Babson was one of my top choices manly because of its focus on leadership. Throughout my high school years, I worked closely with clubs such as debate and community service, these helped me become a leader not only in my school but in my community as well. In addition, I was very happy to see that Babson provided the opportunity to participate in various activities to help others and use the skills acquired in classrooms to provide a greater good to those in need. I would like to participate in some of the many cultural activities offered by the school, such as traveling to Africa and teaching what we learn to the people there. Another thing that motivates me about Babson is that we can interact with a city rich in culture and with the wide variety of people that reside in this campus. I like to take advantages of situations like these to share my Latin culture with others and learn from them as well, and that is what I wish to share with you as we enter this new stage of our lives together. I moved to the United States on my last year of high school and had to adapt to a completely new environment, for this reason I am good at acclimating to a new place and I am always enthusiastic about meeting new people. As you can see, I am very curious and willing to learn new things, that is why most of the time I might be either out exploring the city or reading a book, because one of the most important things to me, is being aware of what is going on in the world that surrounds us. Now that you now a little bit about me, I hope I will get to know a lot of things about you too and that we can grow and learn as much as possible during our time together at Babson.

Sincerely, your roommate