Writing Feedback / Promoting Firearm Safety in Children, A personal essay about a "Radical Act" [2]

Hey there y'all in essay-land. This is an essay for a 100 level freshman course with a semi-tough grader. It is about a 'radical act' of protest we have done. I feel like it is pretty decent, I would love constructive criticism on improvements and the like. I can do two revisions before the final paper is due. This is my first rough draft.

The assignment is as follows:

Radical Act Essay: Write about a radical act of protest, self-expression, or courage that you want to do but have not done. This must be a socially positive act that is entirely legal, does not put you in any danger, and will not be mean or unfair to anyone. In the first part of your essay, tell the story of why you want to do this radical act. Then do it. In the second part of your essay, tell the story of what happened when you did it and how doing it made you feel. Your essay should fill up one sheet of paper, both sides, double spaced. You may write more if you wish.

Radical Act: Promoting Firearm Safety Education
The NRA states that 0.5 percent of accidental deaths in the USA are caused by firearms. I believe that through the promotion and undertaking of gun safety training, education, and experience that number can reach zero. In my opinion I feel that gun safety should be taught to all people, especially to families and homes where there are firearms on the property. I strongly encourage all people, specifically firearm owners to be educated on the safe use and ownership of such a powerful device. I also strongly encourage those with children and firearms to teach their children gun safety from a young age. Oftentimes children have a less distinctive grasp between fantasy and reality; they may find a gun and think that it is a toy. Gun safety can teach a child that a gun is not a toy; it is a powerful device that should only be in the hands of an educated individual.

I want to encourage people to educate their children on gun safety. The media, video games and uneducated adults for years, have demonized firearms. They are no more than a tool with which one can protect their home, protect their family, protect themselves, hunt, and shoot recreationally. Through proper education, starting with gun safety in children and young adults, firearm accidents up to and including deaths can be prevented and may disappear all together with time.

I have designed a small 5x7 flyer that advertises the four main tenants of gun control safety for children. The NRA states that most things a child should do is "STOP!" and "Do not touch." Steps encouraging the child to leave the area and tell an adult directly follow these two steps. It is important to teach children all four of these steps so that they will have these safety tools at their fingertips if they do find a gun while playing.

I set out on Thursday, November 3rd to distribute a small stack of these flyers that I produced. I was a little nervous at first. Where should I distribute them? Are people going to challenge me? Are people going to think that I am a crazed "gun nut"? I put the worries aside and set out for downtown. I picked the corner of SW 4th and SW Morrison. I picked this spot mostly for its high foot traffic, hoping that I would catch lots of adults and maybe some families to pass brochures out to. On my way downtown I started to become a little more nervous. I thought to myself, "this is socially positive, I am trying to encourage people to educate their children on gun safety. The number of accidental deaths involving firearms can be decreased. If I encourage someone to give their children the tools to prevent even one accidental death from a firearm, I have done more than a great job."

All was going well while I started to pass out the flyers. Many people were pretty uninterested figuring that I was passing out something they were not interested in. I can see where they were coming from however, every time someone tries to pass out something my way or solicit me for something on the street, I'm annoyed by it and almost immediately preemptively ignore it. It was a little frustrating at first to be ignored by so many people. I accepted that maybe people were not interested in teaching their children gun safety.

After an hour or so of passing out flyers a gentleman in an NRA hat came my way and struck up a conversation. He commented that it was very respectable that someone was so passionate about the promotion of gun safety and education to children. He said that growing up he did not learn much about gun safety but wishes that he had. As a life long gun owner and father he told me that he taught his children gun safety from a young age and knows that they will pass it on to their children for generations to come. He told me to keep up the good work, to continue fighting for second amendment rights, and to never give up. It was genuine advice from a like-minded stranger who knew my heart and efforts were in the right place.

I felt pretty empowered after our short conversation. It was great to know that other people are not only firearm safety advocates but also not ashamed or embarrassed to admit it. I truly hoped that I reached some people with my flyers. I also hope that even one person that I passed a flyer to is ready to teach their family about gun safety.

I know that it can take a long time to raise public awareness about any issue, but I was getting pretty cold and it was starting to get dark. I looked at my phone and noticed that three hours had gone by. It certainly did not feel like it, I had hardly noticed a second pass. Maybe through performing a radical act I had slowed down my perception of time. I know that through dedicating some time to something I feel is important and socially positive was enlightening. It sure did give me a sense of accomplishment and hope that maybe my flyers will one day inadvertently save a life.

Writing Feedback / Identity Essay: My Experiences in Atheism [NEW]

I totally bombed this essay the first time I tried to write it. Completely missed the whole point of the assignment. Just rewrote it, spent a considerable amount of time on it. It's for a 100 level freshman entry course. The assignment is as follows:

Identity Essay: Write about a significant social identity of your own. Write about your early and developing awareness of it and about experiences you have had related to the advantages and disadvantages of this identity in the context of the dominant U.S. culture or any other cultural context in which you have lived. Your essay should fill up one sheet of paper, both sides, double spaced. You may write more if you wish.

I have chosen to write approximately three pages, I feel that it covers my topic and completes the assignment. Without further ado, here goes my essay. I would love constructive criticism as well as editing about mechanical and/or grammatical errors.

Johnny

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My Experiences in Atheism
When I was about 14 years old, I was travelling in Guatemala with a friend and his family. I stumbled upon a magnificent old church in the town of Antigua where we were staying for a few days. I was immediately fascinated with the grand size of the church, its simple façade and antique feel. I slowly walked in to the main room through the front entrance. I began to get very cold and have an incredible feeling of unwelcome-ness wash over my entire body. Within minutes I became so cold I thought I would freeze. I quickly turned around and showed myself out. I did not think of the experience much until recent years when I began to question religion, human origin and an explanation for my surroundings.

Soon after my return from this trip I began a juvenile study of religions and their respective offerings. After much study I had quickly become dissatisfied with the major world religions. For me they seemed to provide nothing more than allegorical tales to be interpreted as a manual for life's day-to-day operations. The explanations of our origins seemed hokey at best to me. I began to speculate on ideas concerning the existence of God, an explanation for where we came from and a great many other topics. I wanted answers for all of these things. Nothing came to satisfy my insatiable hunger for the truth. Without knowing it I had started an incredible journey that would transform the very way that I see the world.

I put these ideas on the shelf for a few years while I continued on with my life. I would have plenty of time to form my own ideas as I grew into an adult. Fast-forward a half-decade to the age of 19. Armed with a library card, clean glasses and a healthy appetite for knowledge, I hit the library. I started checking out books left and right about atheist ideology, philosophy and history. I became more fascinated with the subject than anything I had come across in my whole life. I would study late into the night, reading everything even remotely related to atheist ideas. I was quick to share these ideas with almost anyone I interacted with. It would lead me to debates and sometimes all out arguments about religion and its views.

I can clearly remember engaging in a debate with a man outside of a coffee shop. We began a casual chat after a chess game, when he mentioned something about a church sermon he had attended recently in which his pastor announced that atheists were "poisoning the world" with their beliefs. I asked him how this could be so true. We began to share a debate about religion that would continue on for several hours, eventually ending in a stalemate much like our previous chess game. Questions began to arise in my mind; does the bulk of the western world believe as this man does? Will I really go to Hell if I do not accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior? I felt so belittled by the end of the conversation. It was after this game and debate that I began to reflect on how this newfound identity as an atheist could affect me in my life.

Realizing that most of the world participates in some form of major religion, I knew that it would be hard to stand as a minority in terms of my religious affiliation. I had never identified as a minority before, due to my status a white male in America. It was something very new for me. This is currently the only social disadvantage I can see as part of my status as an atheist. It is clearly never easy to be a minority in a majority world.

These views have been a bit double-edged sword in terms of advantage and disadvantage. For me the advantages are infinite in possibility. Since adopting these views, I have become very quick to look at things with a very open mind. I am interested in tangible explanations for things, most times scientific explanations for the world and its origins. Perhaps this has robbed me of my imagination. I am still quick to speculate however if the answers provided in science textbooks, peer reviewed articles and graduate lectures are the absolute concrete truth. I am sometimes quickly frustrated with anything religious in nature, it seems to turn the screw that the whole world is right and I must be wrong.

What is to say that these ideas are forever? A person's identity can shape, grow and change throughout their life. As time goes on, I may find myself wandering back into that very same house of God in Central America kneeling down to pray. Most likely I will be nose deep in a Christopher Hitchens book!

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Thanks!