tippu
Oct 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Imagination Reality' - ApplyTexas Essay [3]
Thank you so much.
Someone please help me with grammar and structure.
I changed my essay in some part.
I don't know about the flow, too.
Please review and comment.
One Litre of Tears is a Japanese television series that inspired me to live with purpose. As a seven-grader who had entered the best secondary school in Nakhonsawan, Thailand, I can say that I did not have many responsibilities. My focus was only on studying and household chores. I had not yet thought about my future. However, a year later, I had a chance to watch this series, which is based on the true story of Kito Aya. After I watched the show, I searched for Kito's diary in both Thai and English translations. I read her words and absorbed them and even did research on her disease and other brain disorders. Even though I only connected with her through her words, she has truly been my inspiration to become the person I am today.
Kito Aya has the incurable Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease. She fought with this disease for twelve years and had never given up. One of her powerful thought that was engraved in my heart is "No matter how little the matter is, I want to become a useful person to others." With her disease, she lost the ability to walk, talk, and swallow. All of her physical strengths are gone but she still has a strong willing, the willing to live. She wrote her diary with difficulty because she lost the ability to control her body. She once stated in her diary that she felt her body does not belong to her. I wanted to find the way to cure this disease so that other people would not suffer like Aya did.
By ninth grade, the highest class of lower secondary school, I had to choose my path of life. I could continue with this school or go to somewhere else. In February 2009, I was accepted to a good scientific-field school with some scholarships. However, I also had the option to come to the United States of America. I chose the second one because I realized how much more developed America is in science and technology. In addition, Kito Aya had inspired me to come to America because I want to gain more knowledge about her disease. In America, I could work to invent efficient, low-cost medical equipment for third-world countries like Thailand. I decided to become an engineer so that I can help with the inadequate amount of medical equipment problem in my home country.
She is not only my inspiration but also is my encouragement. I always think about her when I faced a difficult situation, her words are powerful to me. She stated in her diary, "I want to be like the air. The good-hearted person whose kindness overflows and people realize how important she was to them, once she is gone. I want to be that kind of person." I wanted to tell Kito Aya that she has achieved her dream already because she tried very hard to live on to encourage other people.
She, after all, is my inspiration to live on with an encouragement. I have never forgotten my goal to prevent people from sickness. Sickness and sadness deprive humans from happiness. I want to keep smile, peace and happiness of people forever. I know deeply that it is impossible but I want to try to make those smiles stay as long as they can be. However, it would be just hope and dream if I did nothing. I, at the very least, want to try my best, so that I will not be disappointed at myself later. I believe that imagination can become reality if I have faith in myself. I will not give up my dream because it shows that I still have freedom, life, and heart.
Thank you so much.
Someone please help me with grammar and structure.
I changed my essay in some part.
I don't know about the flow, too.
Please review and comment.
One Litre of Tears is a Japanese television series that inspired me to live with purpose. As a seven-grader who had entered the best secondary school in Nakhonsawan, Thailand, I can say that I did not have many responsibilities. My focus was only on studying and household chores. I had not yet thought about my future. However, a year later, I had a chance to watch this series, which is based on the true story of Kito Aya. After I watched the show, I searched for Kito's diary in both Thai and English translations. I read her words and absorbed them and even did research on her disease and other brain disorders. Even though I only connected with her through her words, she has truly been my inspiration to become the person I am today.
Kito Aya has the incurable Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease. She fought with this disease for twelve years and had never given up. One of her powerful thought that was engraved in my heart is "No matter how little the matter is, I want to become a useful person to others." With her disease, she lost the ability to walk, talk, and swallow. All of her physical strengths are gone but she still has a strong willing, the willing to live. She wrote her diary with difficulty because she lost the ability to control her body. She once stated in her diary that she felt her body does not belong to her. I wanted to find the way to cure this disease so that other people would not suffer like Aya did.
By ninth grade, the highest class of lower secondary school, I had to choose my path of life. I could continue with this school or go to somewhere else. In February 2009, I was accepted to a good scientific-field school with some scholarships. However, I also had the option to come to the United States of America. I chose the second one because I realized how much more developed America is in science and technology. In addition, Kito Aya had inspired me to come to America because I want to gain more knowledge about her disease. In America, I could work to invent efficient, low-cost medical equipment for third-world countries like Thailand. I decided to become an engineer so that I can help with the inadequate amount of medical equipment problem in my home country.
She is not only my inspiration but also is my encouragement. I always think about her when I faced a difficult situation, her words are powerful to me. She stated in her diary, "I want to be like the air. The good-hearted person whose kindness overflows and people realize how important she was to them, once she is gone. I want to be that kind of person." I wanted to tell Kito Aya that she has achieved her dream already because she tried very hard to live on to encourage other people.
She, after all, is my inspiration to live on with an encouragement. I have never forgotten my goal to prevent people from sickness. Sickness and sadness deprive humans from happiness. I want to keep smile, peace and happiness of people forever. I know deeply that it is impossible but I want to try to make those smiles stay as long as they can be. However, it would be just hope and dream if I did nothing. I, at the very least, want to try my best, so that I will not be disappointed at myself later. I believe that imagination can become reality if I have faith in myself. I will not give up my dream because it shows that I still have freedom, life, and heart.
