Writing Feedback / Cumulative class essay about supervisor [NEW]

Hello, we were told to write a 4 page essay on our supervisor at work using the material we have been discussing throughout the semester. It had to be written in the 3rd person.

I have not written the conclusion yet, but could someone Please check what i wrote for grammar errors?

A collection of people who work together and coordinate their actions to achieve individual and organizational goals is a fitting description of Target. The sales floor position in the market department is quite a structured job thanks to the leadership of the departments' supervisor, Debbie. Debbie's subordinates' job is to maintain the presentation of the department, help keep it fully stocked, ensure spoiled goods are salvaged, and audit the vendors to make sure they are completing their duties properly. Debbie had a very neurotic personality. Her anxiety levels were often very high and even a remotely negative remark about her would result in a meeting with Human Resources. Her Type A personality created a hostile environment that made her subordinates feel uncomfortable.

Debbie was an intrinsically motivated worker. Prior to employment at Target, she was making double her current wage at a grocery store, but was laid after a huge union strike in California. She did not care to strike and instead applied for a team lead position at Target. A position she was satisfied with. The store in which she worked was one of the worst Target stores in the country, and their expectations for job performance were very low. This did not stop Debbie from striving to meet her own expectations that she had set for herself including her expectations for her subordinates. Debbie used positive reinforcement by praising her subordinates for their achievements by writing them note cards with thankful messages, but also used negative reinforcement by verbally criticizing her subordinates when they failed to meet her expectations. In a store that was on the lowest of Targets ranking scale, critical red, Debbie's market department was the highest rank -- green.

Communication between Debbie and her subordinates was mandatory. If Debbie and her subordinate were both on the clock, then face-to-face communication was required before and after each task was completed. If she and her subordinate were not working at the same time, then a journal was to be kept by the subordinate that listed everything they accomplished during the day. The grapevine did not dare enter the market department. Rumors and gossip were out of control in this Target store due to the extreme corruption of its management, but if any such information was discussed by Debbie's subordinates, she would write them up. Communicating during work about non task related issues were prohibited by Debbie, unless it took place in the break room. Communication is vital to the productivity of the group.

Institutionalized Role Orientation was the method Debbie used on newcomers. Newcomers were taught to respond to situations the same way that she would. Once the newcomer was accustomed to his or her role, they were a part of the command group and were responsible for reporting all task related information to Debbie. Auditing each group member's contribution to the group was important because of the reciprocal task interdependence of the job. The group status for the market department was higher than that of any other department, even though sales were quite low. This is because Debbie was very demanding in management meetings and she had a very powerful voice in the organization. When a highly skilled employee transferred from Texas to California, she obtained this employee even though other departments were in much greater need. The norms of the group were structured around her desire to maximize the potential of the group's decision making.

Although it may appear that Debbie had a very autocratic decision making model, she was actually quite democratic. She always asked her subordinates which task they wanted to do, and if the subordinate said it was up to her, she would become angry and force the subordinate to make a decision. Programmed decision making was always backed up by a series of binders full of performance programs that would lead the subordinate to the correct decision. Reading through these binders was an assigned task, so there was little room for nonprogrammed decision making. When a subordinate worked alone they were allowed to choose the order in which they completed the tasks. However, certain tasks had priority over others, so if checking for outdated product was not completed one night; it would become a mandatory first priority the next day. The effectiveness of the decision making by her subordinates was a result of her coercive leadership style.

Task structure was the focus of Debbie's leadership style. The question of "how are you" was rarely asked to her subordinates, and the question of "how far along are you" was quite common. The only time she asked personal questions to her subordinates was the first day that she met a subordinate. If the tasks were completed and her department was green, then the work environment was much more pleasant. Debbie's position power was far higher than it should have been for a department supervisor. She could manipulate company decisions in management meetings to fit her needs and the needs of her subordinates. Other supervisors often complained, but their complaints were dismissed because their authority was not as respected. Debbie's in group included everyone on her team and her out group was everyone else. When it came time for raises, Debbie's subordinates always got the highest pay raise.

The market supervisor is big on enrichment. She does not allocate any specific job to any particular person. Instead she wants each of her subordinates to do some of everything including challenging jobs that are reserved for supervisors, like ordering new products when stock is running low. The skill variety for a market employee is high and requires various different skill including customer service, organization, an eye for detail, and an understanding of computers to access Targets workbench system. The task identity is great because an employee starts on a project and works on it until they are finished and is able to help customers in the market department, then take them up to the front lanes and check them out. One aspect of the job design that Debbie is really skill with is feedback. Every day she provides her employees with feedback about how they are doing and what they need to improve on and she gives much praise when someone does a great job.

Writing Feedback / Ron Paul Media Expose. check it for errors. [2]

I am somewhat confused when it comes to citing a source in the paper. I usually name the author in the sentence, so i have been only putting the page number where the article is found in the newspaper in the parenthesis. If someone could check my paper for mistakes and offer advice it would be appreciated.

Ron Paul Coverage

Bias in the news media is nothing new, especially when it comes to politics. News organizations have campaigned against candidates when said candidates do not meet their agenda. Conditioning the minds of an audience sometimes has a bigger influence on media ownership than profit. Newspapers, television news channels, and their corresponding internet websites are all guilty. Ron Paul is as far from a political puppet as you can get, which makes him a target in the 2008 presidential race. The key to Ron Paul's success in regard to media criticism has been his devotion to the constitution and the ideals of the founding fathers. When people attempt to portray him as a nut he can simply point to the constitution. Because of this, the media has to attack Ron Paul using various methods. The U.S media uses bias against Ron Paul by stereotyping his supporters, declaring him the loser from the start, and asking him loaded questions during the debates while limiting his talk time.

People usually accuse black people of playing the race card when they accuse someone of racism instead of debating facts. However, there is another type of "card" in existence, which I like to call the "culture card." Newspaper or television news often stereotype the kind of cultures or groups that back a candidate. The purpose of doing this is so that people will support the candidate that their culture supports. A popular example is the support from the evangelical Christians for George W. Bush. Media outlets that wanted him to win the election, like Fox News, often mentioned that he had the support of Christians and since this audience was so large, millions of Christians blindly voted for him without even questioning his relevance to Christianity. The current election has Hilary with the support of the feminist culture, and Obama has the support of the black community as well as non feminists democrats who want to feel like they're apart of another Martin Luther King movement.

Ron Paul is also stereotyped for having certain cultures as his followers. One article written by Aaron Sharockman a Times Staff Writer states that, "His base partly consists of - in no particular order - people who want prostitution legalized, taxpayers who oppose paying taxes, a white supremacist running for the Florida state House, and those who think the Sept. 11 attacks were a government conspiracy(Pg 1a)." All of the cultures that Aaron mentions are looked down upon by society. When people read this article, they are likely to reject Dr. Ron Paul because of his so-called support base, since they do not want to be associated with these groups. It is the same culturally driven media that advertisers use to get people to buy their product, except in reverse. Instead of associating a product, or person in this case, with popular cultures, the writer did just the opposite.

In response to a similar article accusing Ron Paul supporters of being the Motley Crew, Jerri Lynn Ward wrote a letter to the National post declaring that, "My Ron Paul meet-up group includes professionals, blue collar people, stay-at-home moms, conservative Christians and pro-life activists (like me), Ronald Reagan conservatives, libertarians, disaffected democrats, soccer moms and physicians. None of us consider Dr. Paul to be the "crazy uncle." Ron Paul speaks his mind and, moreover, educates his listeners on constitutional government and economics. The other candidates merely obfuscate(Pg. A17)." The difference between Aaron Sharockman and Jerri Lynn Ward is that Ward is a primary source for the main cultures involved with Ron Paul's campaign, while Sharockman is a biased writer who plays the culture card in an attempt to discredit the republican nominee. Jerri Lynn Ward is obviously biased for Ron Paul though, so for all we know there could be some unpopular cultures involved in her meet up group that she does not mention.

A third source on the issue list yet another different set of cultures in support of Ron Paul. Stephen Dinan wrote in the Washington Times, "They are crusty Iowa farmers enticed by doing away with the income tax, libertarian-minded college students in heavy-metal band T-shirts, antiwar Republicans looking for a champion, and folks worried about the Federal Reserve Board and paper money(A01)." This list may not include many mainstream groups, but they are certainly better than Sharockman's list. Dinan also list the reason that these groups support Paul; "For them, he's the man who can restore the Constitution, end the Iraq war, bring back the gold standard for money and stop an erosion of civil rights." On top of this, he actually interviews the people attending a rally. One attendee said, "'He's kind of no style and all substance. He wouldn't be in the game if he didn't really believe in what he's saying,' Jacob Lyles, a 24-year-old investment banker from Arlington said in a telephone interview. He said Mr. Paul's authenticity cuts through a lot of the political clutter to grab supporters. 'I think that's kind of the exact opposite of what his Republican opponents are saying.'" A more radical Ron Paul supporter stated ""I look at some of these people, and I say to myself, 'Yeah, it's weird' or whatever - I just think finally there may be a trend in this country where people are fed up with what they're hearing," he said. "There's no sheep here, there's wolves here, questioning our nation's government.""

Another tactic used against Paul is to start each article or interview with him by stating that it is impossible for him to win the election. Sharockman titled his article, "GOP HOPEFUL FLOATS ON DESPITE ODDS (Pg 1a)." Why does every Ron Paul article need to mention that his odds of winning are slim to none? They did not do this for John Kerry in the 2004 election when he was last in the polls. They also did not do it for any of the other 9 republican candidates that didn't last as long in the race as Paul has. Dinan, the reporter whose article is much more unbiased, titled his article more appropriately with, "Unlikely allies unite for Paul's Quixotic '08 bid(A01)." This title is actually relevant to the information presented in the article and does not start out by stating the odds Paul has of winning. George Stephanopoulos interviewed Ron Paul on ABC news and asked him, "What success for you in the campaign?," and Ron Paul responded by saying "What's success? Well, to win is one, is the goal," and Stephanopoulos angrily replied saying, "That's not going to happen(ABC News)." To say such a thing on national television is not only rude, but is as bias against a candidate as a reporter can get.

Foreign media tends to leave out any 'Ron Paul has no chance of winning' or 'Ron Paul supporters follow this culture' phrases. Suzanne Goldenberg wrote an article in The Guardian stating, "The anti-war Republican congressman from Texas has been ignored by the pundits and was not even invited to a Fox television debate in New Hampshire on Saturday ... The slight to Paul has not dissuaded 300 volunteers who have come for "Ron Paul's Christmas vacation in Iowa", spending days canvassing and evenings at youth camps - despite the temperature hitting -12C yesterday. Paul has the money to keep going after Iowa because of his success in internet fundraising(Pg. 21)." She revealed the censorship the American media is using against Ron Paul and how his grass root movement is raising money over the internet to keep him in the race. Denis Staunton of The Irish Times recognized the bias against Ron Paul by writing, "Dismissed by Republican rivals as a libertarian crank and scarcely registering in opinion polls, presidential candidate Ron Paul has stunned the political scene by raising more than $4 million in a single day. The Texas congressman, who opposes the Iraq war, wants to end the US alliance with Israel and favours the abolition of income tax, took in $4.2 million in internet donations during a Guy Fawkes Day fundraising drive. Mr Paul raised more than $5 million between July and September, almost as much as former Republican frontrunner John McCain and five times as much as former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, whose campaign is taken much more seriously by most commentators(Pg. 11)."

Ivor Tossel of the The Globe and Mail, which is a Canadian newspaper wrote, "As one of the 6.3 billion citizens of the Earth who will not be voting in the American presidential election but will nonetheless be stuck with the results, my interest was piqued by a website called "Who Would the World Elect?" The site asks visitors from around the world to choose one of the smiling mugs of the 17 presidential contenders - eight Democrats, nine Republicans. With about 80,000 votes tallied so far, we can declare an early winner, since [Ron Paul] alone has snapped up more than half of them, dominating the regional standings from Gibraltar to Uruguay, Cambodia to Canada(Pg. R23)." The problem with this poll is that it was an online poll and Ron Paul has a very strong support base online. However, it is interesting to note that it's not only in America where Ron Paul has support groups that vote in these online polls. He has support groups all around the world. The Economist magazine published an article titled "Paul the apostate," stating, "Is this would-be president brave or crazy? Republican congressman from Texas, likes to say what he thinks. And among the things he thinks is that the census is a violation of privacy. He has opted out of the congressional pension programme. He claims never to have voted for a tax increase, or for an unbalanced budget, or for a congressional pay rise and never to have gone on a congressional junket. He wants to return to the gold standard. Most notably, he strongly opposes the Iraq war and has from the beginning." They foreign countries seem to be more positive about Ron Paul's campaign than the U.S Media. I found it shocking though, that a magazine called the Economist did not dig deeper into his economic policies, which are the foundation of his campaign. That was very disappointing for me.

The televised republican presidential debates are stacked against Ron Paul. The questions he is asked are typically rude and hand picked in an attempted to prevent Ron Paul from gaining supporters. During the South Carolina GOP debate the host Carl Cameron gave this question, "Congressman Paul, yet another question about electability. Do you have any, sir(Decker Pg. 10)?" Paul's response was so good that the loaded question backfired and when Fox re-aired the debate it was cut from the broadcast. Fox even went as far as to exclude Ron Paul from the January 6th fox forum. After they realized that this backfired due to public out cry, they allowed him back into the debates, but limited his time to 6 minutes while candidates like Mit Romney had an hour of air time. During the Ronald Reagan library debate Anderson Cooper had all of the candidates debate the differences between conservatives versus liberal, except for Ron Paul. Ron Paul even insisted on answering the question when he was asked a different question, but Anderson Cooper lied to him by promising that he would have time to answer it later, which he never did. This question would have been beneficial for Paul to answer because he would have been able to make a distinction between conservatives, and neo conservatives and how new conservatives are more like democrats. That is the reason he was not allowed to respond to the questions.

After a debate is finished, Fox News brings out Frank Luntz, and has his focus group to discuss the debate. This focus group is supposedly made up twenty randomly selected independent voters. However, Luntz has been caught using planted actors who are famous for propaganda. He even used the same actor for two different debates, which has become an infamous video on youtube. Fox news usually has a text vote poll, so people can text in who they think won the debate. Ron Paul won every single text poll for all of the debates. After the South Carolina debate Shaun Hannity was doing a post debate interview with Ron Paul and stated that the polls are rigged and that Ron Paul did not win the debate. Paul asked him why he thinks his own poll is no good and said he liked the voting audience. Then they went to Franks so called focus group, and Frank asked the focus group "who disappointed you the most of all of [the candidates]?" They all shouted "Ron Paul." He then asked, "How many of you have said Ron Paul was the loser tonight?" and they all raised their hands. Lunts then followed up by saying "There you go, Sean. You have a got a winner-Fred Thompson; loser-Ron Paul." This is obviously a propaganda tool used by Fox news to condition the minds of their audience. After a debate people are still soaking in all that they heard and while they are making up their minds Fox brings out this group of people who tell you what you should think about the debate.

While most candidates get financial backing from lobbyist who contribute cash for political power, Ron Paul has received all of his money from average American citizens. Ron Paul has received more cash donations from the military than any other candidate has by a landslide. Thomas Hoffman of computerworld wrote, ""The Texas Congressman's online fundraising efforts are as unconventional as his use of media. Unlike other presidential wannabes, who rely on e-mail blasts to would-be supporters, Paul has been building his war chest by allowing his backers to drive much of the campaign themselves." Sadly, as Frank Luntz always says, it's not what you say, it's what people hear. Ron Paul preaches the constitution, but what the majority of Americans hear on television is that Ron Paul is a crank. Although Ron Paul has lost the election, he has won over the minds of millions of Americans and the revolution that his supporters created will spill over into future elections.

Works Cited

Decker, Cathleen, and Reston, Maeve. "The Nation; Debaters aim answers at next states; Facing off in South Carolina, Replubican hopefuls vie for key voters - and for Reagan's mantle." Los Angeles Times.

Dinan, Stephen. "Unlikely allies unite for Paul's quixotic '08 bid." The Washington Times. 19 November 2007, PAGE ONE; A01. LexisNexis.

"FOX HANNITY & CO 9:35 PM EST." Sean Hannity, Alan Colmes, and Frank Luntz. Fox News. LexisNexis.

Goldberg, Suzanne. "United States: Iowa is end of the road for some candidates in a busy race." The Guardian(London). 2 January 2008, GUARDIAN INTERNATIONAL PAGES; Pg. 21. LexisNexis.

Hoffman, Thomas. "The Geekiest Candidate." Computerworld.

"ON THE TRAIL; RON PAUL." George Stephanopoulos. ABC News.

"Paul the apostate." The Economist. 21 July 2007. LexisNexis.

Sharockman, Aaron. "GOP HOPEFUL FLOATS ON DESPITE ODDS." ST. Petersburg Times. 15 October 2007, NATIONAL; Pg 1a. LexisNexis.

Staunton, Denis. "$4m raised in one day by 'crank' candidate." The Irish Times. 7 November 2007, WORLD; Other World Stories; Pg. 11. LexisNexis.

Tossel, Ivor "Ron Paul, your virtual president." The Globe and Mail. 7 December 2007, THE GLOBE REVIEW 7; New Media: WEB: U.S. POLITICS: ONLINE CAMPAIGNING; Pg. R23. LexisNexis.

Ward, Jerri. " Ron Paul is not the 'crazy uncle'." National Post. 19 October 2007, LETTERS; Pg. A17. LexisNexis. U of Wisconsin-Whitewater, University Lib.

Writing Feedback / The Vacuum - Analytical Essay; could someone check my analytical essay for errors [4]

The Vacuum - Analytical Essay

Expressing emotions full of loneliness and sorrow through writing is a difficult undertaking -- especially when it involves the death of a companion who has spent countless hours with you, and brought so much meaning to your life. Howard Nemerov attempted to express such emotions in his poem titled; "The Vacuum." The speaker of the poem has lost his wife, but instead of simply stating, "My life is meaningless without my wife and I miss her so much.," he uses figurative language to reveal his current state of mind. Howard Nemerov uses personification, metaphors, similes, sensory details, and poetic structure in "The Vacuum" to allow the reader to experience, through visualization, the emotions involved with losing ones wife, enabling the reader to react to the agony.

Personification is defined as a figure of speech in which a thing, quality, or idea is represented as a person. In "The Vacuum," personification is used throughout the poem, allowing the author to use a vacuum cleaner to parallel the feelings that the husband had for his wife before she died, as well as the feelings he has now that his wife has passed away. Personification is foreshadowed on lines seven and eight when it says, "But when my old woman died her soul/ Went into that vacuum cleaner." To the husband, the vacuum is his personified wife. On line two it reads, "The vacuum cleaner sulks in the corner closet," suggesting that his wife/vacuum, refuses to speak to the husband because it is offended by all of the "filth" (11) in his present life; filth that wouldn't be there if she was alive. This argument is supported with further personification in lines three through five when its states, "its mouth/ Grinning into the floor, maybe at my/ Slovenly life, my dog-dead youth." The vacuum seems to be 'grinning' at him, amused by how pathetic he has become. Not only is personification an important tool in "the vacuum," but the author also utilizes metaphors.

The vacuum itself is a metaphor alluring to the vacuum in the husbands' life that opened after she died. Without the company of his wife his "house is quiet now" (1). He has no one to talk to at home, and the vacuum cleaner, which to him is a remnant of his wife, "sulks in the corner closet" (2). What once was an active social life full of fulfillment has dwindled down to stagnant loneliness. Line eleven starts with the metaphor, "there is old filth everywhere," comparing how his wife "used to crawl, in the corner and under the stair," (11) to clean up the filth, but now the filth is building up, and without the presence of his wife he does not have the will power to clean it himself.

Similes are another figure of speech that Nemerov's uses throughout the poem to further the depth of the husbands emotional state. Nemerov writes, "Its bag limp as a stopped lung (3), to draw a comparison between the inactive vacuum bag and inactive lungs. Breathing lungs symbolize life. No longer does the vacuum, or the speaker's wife, breathe with life. This simile contributes to the vacuum's personification of his wife because the vacuum is a living, breathing entity to the husband. Line eight and nine state, "I can't bear/ To see the bag swell like a belly." The simile and personification in those lines suggest that when the husband vacuums he experiences déjŕ vu, causing him to re-live the day his wife died. The sensory details in lines nine and ten possibly allude to his wife's death being painful. Line nine continues with, "eating the dust," (9) a phrase that sounds very similar to biting the dust, which is a metaphor for dying. While the vacuum is eating the dust he may remember when his wife was "beginning to howl" (10) because she was dying in pain. The final simile concludes, "life is cheap as dirt" (13). "Cheap as dirt" symbolizes how the husband feels without his wife; his life's worth is as valuable as dirt in her absence.

Poetic structure in "The Vacuum" is strategically written to maximize the emotional affect on the reader. The author did not implement a rhyming scheme because rhyme would strip the poem of its depressing, but necessary, atmosphere. A depressing atmosphere is critical because you would not accurately visualize the husbands emotional state if you were distracted by a cute rhyming scheme. Repetition, like rhyme, is absent in this poem. The author did not want to stress any particular emotion. The stanzas are all five lines long because every line from beginning to end is equally important. "The Vacuum" is also a brief poem. There are so many uses of figurative language that fifteen lines are all that's necessary to keep your mind occupied.

Nemerov's use of personification, metaphors, similes, and structure puts me into the husband's perspective. When I read the poem, I see the vacuum in the corner closet through the husband's eyes, and feel his overwhelming emotions of loneliness, shame, anger, and despair. I hear the noise of the vacuum in his head as he is having flashbacks of his wife crawling "in the corner and under the [stairs]" (12). The metaphors allow me to sense his "hungry, angry heart" that "hangs on and howls, biting at the air" (14-15). The similes provide clues to the nature of her death, and the poetic structure melts it all together into one big picture.

Hope it is good : )

Writing Feedback / Argumentative paper "The bridge of san Luis Rey" [2]

Can someone edit my paper for me please?

Indeed an Accident
Thornton Wilder's, The Bridge of San Luis Ray, begins with the story of Brother Juniper, who was a Christian missionary from Northern Italy who comes to Lima to convert the Indians in Peru. He witnesses the breaking of the Bridge of San Luis Rey and studies the lives of the victims in order to prove the accident was an "Act of God" (Wilder 6). To prove his point about the accident, he studies the lives of the five victims for a period of six years. At the end of his research, he publishes an enormous book, which is rejected by the people of Peru as being inaccurate. In protest, both Brother Juniper and his book are burned. However, a copy of the book, placed on the shelf of a university library, survives to tell the story of the five victims. Although there are many connections in the book that would cause one to believe they died by fate, the logic is flawed and it was indeed an accident.

The first victim on the bridge that Brother Juniper researches is Dona Maria, the Marquesa. Dona Maria, who was deprived of love by her parents and her husband, pours her emotion and love on her daughter, who rejects her mother. Deserted by Dona Clara and frustrated in her efforts to show love and affection, the Marquesa no longer cares about life. Feeling totally uncared for, she begins to behave radically, neglecting her health and her appearance. When she finally discovers that Pepita, the child from the orphanage, truly cares for her, she is overjoyed, for it is the first time anyone has ever loved Dona Maria. She decides to take Pepita under who wing with the goal of sharing a loving relationship with this orphan child. Maria and Pepita set out on their return trip to Lima. As they walked over the Bridge of San Luis Rey, it broke, and they fell to their deaths. After the accident, Dona Marias daughter, Dona Clara, goes to the orphanage. When she sees the children, her hard heart is softened, and she wants to help. Some argue that the death of Dona Maria was a part of Gods plan to give her daughter the ability to love. This argument fails because not only did her mother die, but an innocent child who hardly got to experience life died as well. God giving Dona Clara the ability to love at the expense of an innocent child's life is ridiculous.

Esteban, the second victim that Juniper researches, and his twin are abandoned by their parents at the convent. Throughout his life, Esteban is devoted to Manuel, even when he falls in love with Camila. When his brother is injured and dying, Esteban never leaves his side. Manuel, however, turns on his twin, blaming him for destroying his relationship with Camila. When Manuel dies, Esteban is lost and feels guilty. He aimlessly wanders the streets of Lima. The Abbess, who has raised him, fears for his life. She approaches Captain Alvarado and begs him to take Esteban on his next voyage. The young man agrees and is traveling to the ship with a new purpose in life when he crosses the Bridge of San Luis Rey and loses his life. Esteban is unique in comparison to the other five victims. Unlike the other two adults, Esteban's death does not result in someone he knew discovering how to love. He simply brings tears to the eyes of all who have known him. He does share the characteristic of starting anew, but the only reasonable justification of his death is that it was an accident.

Leaving home at an early age, Uncle Pio, the last victim that Brother Juniper researches, is forced to do many odd jobs. Thanks to his determination, intellect, and craftiness, he succeeds at each task and carves a place for himself in the fashionable society of Lima. Enthralled with the theater, he adopts Camila and trains her to be an actress. In the process, he falls in love with her, but Camila deserts him, becoming the mistress of the Viceroy. Pio is miserable and lonely without her. Still hoping to forge a tie with her, he insists upon caring for her sickly son, Don Jamie, and looks forward to a life with the boy. Camila agrees because smallpox has bankrupted her financially and emotionally, and she owes Uncle Pio a reward for all he has done for her. As Uncle Pio crosses the bridge towards home with Jamie, his new purpose is lost when the Bridge falls. The argument for Dona Maria's death being fate is the same one used for Uncle Pio; except it was mostly the loss of her child that gave Camilla the desire to try to love again. This time the argument for fate is more convincing, but to say that Camilla's will to love is more important than two peoples ability to live is still ridiculous.

The three adults on the bridge had all suffered from a lack of love. As they crossed the bridge, they were heading to a new life, hoping to bring new meaning and purpose to their previously miserable existences. The new purpose for two of the adults, Uncle Pio and Dona Maria, was to give a life of love to two children who would have suffered from a lack of love. The bridge, however, deprived them of the chance to start anew when the accident occurred. Not only was there no justifiable reason for these people to die, but the probability of the Bridge of San Luis Rey collapsing was very high. The bridge is described as, "...a mere ladder of thin slats swung out over the gorge, with handrails of dried vine" (Wilder 5). It was "woven of osier by the Incas more than a century before" (5). Anyone could have died on the bridge, and the only fate involved was that at some point this old bridge was destined to fall.

Works Cited

Wilder, Thornton. The bridge of San Luis Rey. New York, N.Y.: HarperCollins, 1998.

Writing Feedback / "Fiction or Fact-Men Suffering from A Girl's Problem" - research paper [2]

Check the paper for grammar errors and all that good stuff : )

Fiction or Fact-Men Suffering from A Girl's Problem

The first time that I heard the phrase "eating disorder" was from an article titled "Dying to Be Thin" about female eating disorders; however, males have also suffered from all sorts of eating disorders. I have also learned from some of my male friends that they have to put on or lose certain amounts of weight to meet their coach's requirement on sports teams in high school. As teenage boys, my male friends know just as many tips of how to manage weight and calculate calories as teenage girls.

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Generally speaking, an eating disorder is defined as a girl's problem, and the mass media, medical professions, and public focus almost exclusively on females who deal with weight and dieting. Carolyn Costin in The Eating Disorder Sourcebook points out, "Males do develop anorexia and bulimia, and, rather than being a new phenomenon, this was observed over three hundred years ago. Among the first well-documented accounts of anorexia nervosa, reported in the 1600s by Dr. Richard Morton and in the 1800s by the British physician William Gull, are cases of males suffering from the disorder" (25). As stated by Mark Kittleson, Ph.D.in The Truth about Eating Disorders, "Now, they encounter 1 male with anorexia for every 4 females with the disorder. The ratio of males to females with bulimia is 1 male to 8-11 females. Harvard Eating Disorders Clinic also reports that men account for 10 to 15 percent of the reported cases of bulimia, based on 1997 study by A.E. Andersen and J.E. Holman" (61). Therefore, the world of male eating disorders is not a fiction, but a fact. In addition, Aleixo Muise et al.illustrates, "The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV defines three categories of eating disorders: anorexia nervosa (AN), bulimia nervosa (BN), and eating disorders that do not meet the criteria for AN and BN. Binge eating disorder (BED) is defined as a disorder needing additional study...It was estimated that 5% to 15% of cases of AN and BN and 40% of cases of BED occur in boys and men" (427). The prevalence of male eating disorders has become alarmingly more apparent in recent years, but by and large, eating disorders in males have been overlooked, understudied, and underreported. Therefore, in order to answer what has happened underneath the world of male eating disorders, the following discussion will present the subgroups involved in male eating disorders by high-risk factors such as males being bisexual or homosexual, males with a teasing background, male athletes and military men, and the secondary prevention of eating disorders operated by dentists and dental hygienists.

What types of men are at high risk of becoming victims of eating disorders? First of all, there has been a general consensus that males with a homosexual orientation have a higher rate of eating disorders. In fact, the investigation by Adelaide Robb and Michele Dadson shows that "up to 20% of male patients with eating disorders are homosexual" within the estimated "rates of homosexual in the general population are...10%" (402). In the meantime, another study by Simone A. French et al. examines and analyzes the survey based on males with diverse sexual orientations. The results present that "homosexual males were more likely to report a poor body image (27.8% vs. 12.0%), frequent dieting (8.9% vs. 5.5%), binge eating (25.0% vs. 10.69%), or purging behaviors (e.g., vomiting: 11.7% vs. 4.4%) compared with heterosexual males" (French et al. 119). The statistics listed surrounded by parenthesis represents the percentage of each sexual orientation involved in each category of activities. In spite of the facts that demonstrate the high percentage of homosexual males in the world of eating disorders, the reason why homosexual men are at an increased danger of developing an eating disorder is also worth looking at. One reason is the cultural pressure "within the homosexual community to be thin;" according to Carolyn Costin, "homosexual men weighed significantly less than heterosexual men and were more likely to be underweighted and to desire an underweight ideal weight" (30). Another reason is that homosexual males can "temporarily resolve their sexual conflicts" by "reducing their sexual drive through starvation" (Costin 30). The third reason is that "men tend to evaluate potential romantic partner on the basis of physical appearance to a greater extent than do women;" therefore, so as to attract male partners, gays are in higher potential to endure disordered eating (French et al. 124). Male eating disorders seem to prevail in the gay community, but they are also seen in males who have been teased about their weight.

In addition, males who have experienced being teased about their weight at an early age will be more likely to take on "unhealthy weight control behaviors" than their peers (Haines et al. 209). As examined in "Weight Teasing and Disordered Eating Behaviors in Adolescents," Haines et al. says, "[Compared] with youths who did not report frequent weight teasing, those who experience frequent weight teasing had 2.0 times the odds of engaging in unhealthy weight-control behaviors and binge eating" (209). To discover the cause and effect that beneath weight teasing and male eating disorders, one possibility is the direct consequence-depression symptoms after being teased, which might lead to the attempt to diet in order to "avoid further weight-related stigmatization" (214). Comparing with gender differences, "being teased about weight was positively associated with unhealthy weight-control behaviors among males but not female adolescents" (214). The explanation is that in contrast with females, men have probably received a much smaller range of sources to reach the notion of the ideal body than their female "counterparts" (214); therefore, men are more likely than females to turn to disordered eating once being teased about their weight. This means weight teasing, which is a major feature affecting males' concerns about appearance, will be a high risk factor of disordered eating; meanwhile, certain types of male athletes will become the victims of eating disorders as well.

Furthermore, athletic involvement, which is often related to frequent weight concerns, may predispose men to dissimilar types of eating disorders. There are chiefly three typical types of sports contributing to the pervasiveness of eating-disordered behaviors. As indicated by Antonia Baum in "Eating Disorders in the Male Athlete," there are "sports where aesthetics are critical to the judging or scoring process, sports where the athlete has to make weight for competition, and sports in which low body fat is deemed advantageous to performance" (3). For example, male horse racing jockeys are vulnerable to engage in eating disorders. Contrary to female jockeys, male counterparts are not "naturally lighter and smaller," so they have to pay more effort to achieve their weight goals; and frequently submit their bodies to the yo-yo effort to "re-achieve racing weight after gains in the off-season" (Baum 3). Just like a quote from a retired jockey, Christine Body says, "...for many jockeys, the hot-box (sauna) is their home away from home" (qtd. in Baum 4). Besides those types of sports that produce disordered eating among male athletes, the abuse of anabolic steroids, which can be defined as a sub-category of disordered eating, has a strong negative impact on male athletes. For instance, "as long ago as the 1970s, it was estimated that as many as 80-90% of weight-lifters, and 75% of all professional football players were using anabolic steroids" (4). Another example indicates that body-builders are on "an increased risk for the development of eating disorders based on a higher body mass index...a higher incidence of dieting and weight fluctuation, alcohol abuse and anabolic steroid use" (4). Military men, as well as professional male athletes, make up a certain portion of male with disordered eating.

Moreover, military personnel will be more expected to be diagnosed with eating disorders; especially males, who are made up of a much larger percentage of the military, are the first to be affected. "[A] cross-sectional survey of advanced individual training U.S. Army soldiers at Aberdeen Proving Ground, Mary-land" (Warner 147), "noted a 7% prevalence of disordered eating in male individuals [where] men constitute ~85% of the military" and female eating disorders are composed of 29.6% female military personnel (150). Hereby, under the hypothesis of total number of examined soldiers are 100, so there are 85 male armed forces and 15 female soldiers. Furthermore, there are approximate 6 (85 * 0.07) military men are eating disorders while 4 (15 * 0.296) female soldiers are estimated suffering from disordered eating. Therefore, as uttered by Liza Lukacs, "In some young male occupation groups, such as in the armed forces, the appearance of physical strength and muscularity has particular importance" (152). Factors that placed male soldiers at higher risk for disordered eating were variable, but not unpredictable. One possibility is the stress imposed on military personnel. As a special profession, male military need to keep fit and adjust to the best condition to face life and death. Therefore, for them, acquiring particular body strength and enough muscle is not only the pursuit of outlook, but also the assignment as the guard of the nation. Once finished introducing what kinds of men will be more likely to develop into eating disorders, the next portion is about the roles of dentists and dental hygienists as the secondary prevention of male eating disorders.

Intentional starvation, exercising excessively, depression, and hospitalization are details typical for an eating disorder;

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Research Papers / Edit my research paper on anabolic steroids [2]

I wrote a paper on anabolic steroids. Can you guys proofread and check for errors for me : )

Gregg Valentino, an Italian-American bodybuilder, once had the largest arms in the world. As a young man, Valentino was an active bodybuilder, but was never satisfied with his size. As a result, he quickly turned to substances such as testosterone, and Boldenone (an anabolic steroid) to enhance his muscle mass and soon gave up professional bodybuilding altogether, instead making his goal to simply get as large as possible. As time progressed, Valentino's fascination with large muscles caused serious health problems. He developed a massive hematoma in his arm, and he was selling steroids illegally. He was almost killed in the process by a drug lord. He has served months in prison for possessing and selling drugs.

Anabolic steroids, an amazing medical drug, was banned for unsupported reasoning's, creating criminal scenario's, misconceptions, and diminishing utility. Steroids were created by curious scientists who worked to maximize its utility (its benefits). In the mid-1930s German scientists isolated androstenedione and inadvertently converted it to what is now know as testosterone. Since the discovery, "various research groups have made modifications to the basic structure of testosterone and produce a range of closely related compounds that are marketed as anabolic steroids" (Lenehan 4). The original modifications were mostly attempts to isolate the anabolic hormone from the androgenic (2). The anabolic hormone increases the growth of the body's tissues and bones (2). The Androgenic hormone deepens the voice and produces excess hair (2). Further research, however, has showed that both hormones have good and bad side effects (3). Eventually scientist were able to manipulate it so that anabolic steroids increase muscle and bone growth with a variety of other positive effects with minimal unwanted effects (4). This drug became more useful in the medical field than its inventors could have predicted.

There are many beneficial medical uses for anabolic steroids. Anabolic steroids reduce recovery time by blocking the effects of the stress hormone in the body, cortisol, on muscle tissue. As a result, deterioration of the body's muscle mass is greatly reduced. Some examples of the anabolic effects of these hormones include increased protein synthesis from amino acids, increased muscle mass and strength,(Schroeder)(Grunfeld) increased appetite, increased bone remodeling and growth, as well as stimulation of bone marrow increasing production of red blood cells. Furthermore, Anabolic steroids are used for children with growth failure, and for people with chronic wasting conditions such as cancer and AIDS to help increase their appetite, and preserve and increase their muscle mass (Giorgi). They are given to many boys distressed about extreme delay of puberty, and have been shown to increase height, weight, and fat free mass in boys with delayed puberty (Arslanian). Anabolic steroids have been shown to help fight many age related problems in elderly men including increasing lean body mass and decreasing bone resorption (Harman). They are even used in hormone replacement therapy for men with low levels of testosterone (Arver).

When my cousin was born he had a bad liver and was going to die unless he received a liver from a donor. He did get a new liver, but he was still going to die because his body was not strong enough to handle the new liver. The miracle drug was their only option, and after continued use his organs strengthened and his life was saved by anabolic steroids. He is fifteen years old now and plays baseball for his high school and for a travel team. The steroids did not cause any harmful side effects and he will be able to live a full healthy life. Although steroids have many benefits, they can also cause health problems if not used correctly.

Side effects can occur from improper use and tainted versions of anabolic steroids. An overdose of anabolic steroids can cause many unwanted side effects. The most common side effects are elevated blood pressure, (Grace) and increased cholesterol levels (Tokar). Testosterone can also cause an increase in risk of cardiovascular disease(Barrett) or coronary artery disease in men with high risk of bad cholesterol (Bagatell). Acne is fairly common among anabolic steroid users, mostly due to the increases in testosterone which can cause stimulation of the glands (Melnik). They can accelerate the rate of premature baldness for those who are genetically predisposed. In addition, liver damage can be caused by high doses of oral anabolic steroids, which are the steroids you get from a pill (Giannitrapani). The use of a dirty needle can cause infections and consequently you may get a hematoma. These side effects can be dangerous; however, most of these issues could be prevented if steroids were legal.

When you make a product illegal and there is a demand for it, a black market will always appear. When people purchase steroids from the black market they are taking a big risk. Anabolic steroids purchased through the black market may be counterfeit. The product could contain no steroid at all and instead be filled with poison. MJ Walter states, "Anabolic steroid products found in the illegal market are primarily oil-based injectables or tablets and often do not contain the ingredients declared on the label" (1). Even if it does contain the legitimate drug, you do not have doctors that can tell you how much you should take or if you are healthy enough to use them. Crime also appears in the black market because businessmen are not going to want to be involved in illegal trade, so instead gangs will be the dealers. If steroids were legal, they could be sold by the pharmacy and you would need a doctor's prescription to obtain them. Your doctor could tell you where to inject the fluid and how much and how often you should take them. Most importantly, you would always be guaranteed to get the real drug rather than a tainted version.

Steroids are illegal in America and banned in most sports. In the United States, the U.S. Congress placed anabolic steroids into Schedule III of the Controlled Substances Act in the Anabolic Steroid Control Act of 1990. The act was amended on January 20, 2005, with the Anabolic Steroid Control Act of 2004. This amendment placed anabolic steroids on the list of controlled substances, making possession of the banned substances without a prescription a federal crime punishable by up to seven years in prison (DEA). Anabolic steroids are banned by all major sports bodies including the Olympics, the NBA, the NHL, as well as the NFL. The World Anti-Doping Agency maintains the list of performance-enhancing substances used by many major sports bodies and includes all anabolic agents, which includes all anabolic steroids and precursors as well as all hormones and related substances.(WADA)

There are many misconceptions associated with anabolic steroids. Anabolic steroids have been at the center of controversy and because of this, there are many myths concerning their effects and side effects. One common misconception purveyed in popular culture and the media is the myth that anabolic steroids are highly dangerous and users' mortality rates are high. Anabolic steroids are used widely in the medical field without any serious health risks to users, and no scientific evidence has shown any long-term serious health defects from proper use of anabolic steroids. While risk of death is present in many drugs, the risk of premature death from use of anabolic steroids seems to be extremely low (Fudala). It is possible this myth gained popularity from claims that Lyle Alzado, a once famous professional football player, died from brain cancer caused by anabolic steroids. Alzado himself had claimed that his cancer was caused by anabolic steroids. However, there is no medical evidence supporting the claim that anabolic steroids can cause brain cancer let alone the type of T-cell lymphoma he suffered from. Moreover, Alzado's doctors stated that anabolic steroids did not contribute to his death (Gumbel). Increased aggression, also known as roid rage, may also be a myth. Many scientists and medical professionals have concluded anabolic steroids have no real effect on increased aggressive behavior (Pope) (Tricker) (O'Connor).

There has been a movement to try to decriminalize steroids. In July 2005 Philip Sweitzer, an attorney and author, published an open letter to the Members of the House Committee on Government Reform, and the Senate Committee on Commerce. In it, he criticized lawmakers' actions in scheduling anabolic steroids, as well as criticized their "disregard of scientific reality for symbolic effect"(Sweitzer). He also pleaded for the consideration of the decriminalization of anabolic steroids and asked for a new policy direction. Several other legal reviewers have criticized controlled substance status for anabolic steroids, including lawyer Rick Collins. Collins opposes non-medical teen steroid use or steroid use to cheat in sports, but advocates wider discretion for physicians in the case of mature adults. In 2006, he argued at "PUMPED", a steroid seminar in Manhattan, that the risks associated with anabolic steroids in the media are overtly biased as well as incredibly misinformed. He also argues that anabolic steroid criminalization increases the risks associated with anabolic steroids due to impurities in the black market (Collins). However, the U.S. government's position has remained adamant, and they refuse to debate the legality of anabolic steroids.

Valintino's story is often used as the premier example of why steroids should remain illegal, but in reality his story does the contrary. Gregg Valentino may have suffered as a result of steroids, but he is responsible for the suffering-not the steroids. The hematoma was not a side effect of Anabolic steroids. Valentino did not take the necessary precautions and one day dropped a needle on the ground and stuck it in his arm. The dirty needle created the infection -- not the drug. If Anabolic steroids were legal, his involvement in drug dealing would not have been necessary because doctors would be able to control the dose of steroids people use and inject them safely. I personally believe that anabolic steroids should be legal by prescription to anyone over the age of eighteen as long as a doctor monitors the health of their patients. We could all benefit from small doses of anabolic steroids and the demand from them would boost the economy and destroy the black market along with all the trouble it created.

Lenehan, Pat. "Anabolic Steroids and Other Performance-enhancing Drugs ." London, New York Taylor & Francis, 2003.

Schroeder E, Vallejo A, Zheng L, Stewart Y, Flores C, Nakao S, Martinez C, Sattler F (2005). "Six-week improvements in muscle mass and strength during androgen therapy in older men." J Gerontol A Biol Sci Med Sci 60 (12): 1586-92. PMID 16424293. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Grunfeld C, Kotler D, Dobs A, Glesby M, Bhasin S (2006). "Oxandrolone in the treatment of HIV-associated weight loss in men: a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study." J Acquir Immune Defic Syndr 41 (3): 304-14. PMID 16540931. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Giorgi A, Weatherby R, Murphy P (1999). "Muscular strength, body composition and health responses to the use of testosterone enanthate: a double blind study." Journal of science and medicine in sport / Sports Medicine Australia 2 (4): 341-55. PMID 10710012. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Arslanian S, Suprasongsin C (1997). "Testosterone treatment in adolescents with delayed puberty: changes in body composition, protein, fat, and glucose metabolism." J. Clin. Endocrinol. Metab. 82 (10): 3213-20. PMID 9329341. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Harman S, Metter E, Tobin J, Pearson J, Blackman M (2001). "Longitudinal effects of aging on serum total and free testosterone levels in healthy men. Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Aging." J. Clin. Endocrinol. Metab. 86 (2): 724-31. PMID 11158037. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Arver S, Dobs A, Meikle A, Caramelli K, Rajaram L, Sanders S, Mazer N (1997). "Long-term efficacy and safety of a permeation-enhanced testosterone transdermal system in hypogonadal men." Clin. Endocrinol. (Oxf) 47 (6): 727-37. PMID 9497881. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Grace F, Sculthorpe N, Baker J, Davies B (2003). "Blood pressure and rate pressure product response in males using high-dose anabolic androgenic steroids (AAS)." J Sci Med Sport 6 (3): 307-12. PMID 14609147. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Tokar, Steve (2006 Feb). Liver Damage And Increased Heart Attack Risk Caused By Anabolic Steroid Use. University of California - San Francisco. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Barrett-Connor E (1995). "Testosterone and risk factors for cardiovascular disease in men." Diabete Metab 21 (3): 156-61. PMID 7556805. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Bagatell C, Knopp R, Vale W, Rivier J, Bremner W (1992). "Physiologic testosterone levels in normal men suppress high-density lipoprotein cholesterol levels." Ann Intern Med 116 (12 Pt 1): 967-73. PMID 1586105. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Fudala P, Weinrieb R, Calarco J, Kampman K, Boardman C (2003). "An evaluation of anabolic-androgenic steroid abusers over a period of 1 year: seven case studies." Annals of clinical psychiatry : official journal of the American Academy of Clinical Psychiatrists 15 (2): 121-30. PMID 12938869. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Giannitrapani L, Soresi M, La Spada E, Cervello M, D'Alessandro N, Montalto G (2006). "Sex hormones and risk of liver tumor." Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences 1089:228-36. PMID: 17261770. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Melnik B, Jansen T, Grabbe S (2007). "Abuse of anabolic-androgenic steroids and bodybuilding acne: an underestimated health problem." Journal of the German Society of Dermatology : JDDG 5(2):110-7. PMID: 17274777 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Gumbel, Bryant. Real Sports, Lyle Alzado. HBO (2005).

Pope, Harrison G.; Elena M. Kouri, PhD; James I. Hudson, MD, SM (2000 February). "Effects of Supraphysiologic Doses of Testosterone on Mood and Aggression in Normal Men". Med Sci Sports Exerc. 57 (2): 133-140. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Tricker R, Casaburi R, Storer T, Clevenger B, Berman N, Shirazi A, Bhasin S (1996). "The effects of supraphysiological doses of testosterone on angry behavior in healthy eugonadal men--a clinical research center study". J. Clin. Endocrinol. Metab. 81 (10): 3754-8. PMID 8855834. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

O'Connor D, Archer J, Hair W, Wu F (2002). "Exogenous testosterone, aggression, and mood in eugonadal and hypogonadal men". Physiol. Behav. 75 (4): 557-66. PMID 12062320. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

Walters M, Ayers R, Brown D (1990). "Analysis of illegally distributed anabolic steroid products by liquid chromatography with identity confirmation by mass spectrometry or infrared spectrophotometry". Journal - Association of Official Analytical Chemists 73 (6): 904-26. PMID 2289923. [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE].

DEA. "Congressional Testimony," 03/16/04.

WADA (2005). Prohibited list of 2005.

Sweitzer, Esq, Philip (July 2005). "An Open Letter to the Members of the House Committee on Government Reform, and the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation, on the Recent Hearings and Legislation relating to the use of Anabolic Steroids in Sports."

Collins, Rick (2006). PUMPED: A Truth-Enhancing Seminar on Steroid Use and the Law

Writing Feedback / Report on Current Affairs written after reading our English book [3]

The assignment was to read 4 essays from our english book and do a report on them. I was limited to only a few essays to choose from and this was the best theme i could find. Can someone please reveal my errors?

Report on Current Affairs and their affect on the Human Experience

"The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology" (John Spencer). Contrary to John Spencer's description of the "cutting edge of modeling technology," today's research rats are instead manipulating our world with their experimentation by risking human health. This scientific manipulation is the common theme I found after studying essays from authors including: Eric Schlosser, Barry Commoner, and Robert A. Weinberg, and Emily Martin. By reporting on each essay individually, I will attempt to reveal how different technological advances are manipulating our world by endangering human health, and how scientific reasoning can be biased.

Barry Commoner attempts to educate the reader on the way scientists are manipulating our food using genetic engineering in his essay; "unraveling the DNA Myth; the spurious Foundation of Genetic Engineering." The "foundation of genetic engineering" is based on the "central dogma theory" (Commoner 693). Commoner defines "central dogma" on page 694 as "a theory concerning the relation among DNA, RNA, and protein in which the nucleotide sequence of DNA exclusively governs its own replication and engenders a specific genetic trait." Apparently, the "central dogma theory" has been proven false. Commoner states, "Between 1990 and 2001 in one of the largest and most highly publicized scientific undertakings of our time, [known as] the Human Genome Project[;] the [central dogma] theory collapsed under the weight of fact (695). The "scientific foundation of genetic engineering and the validity of the biotechnology industry's widely advertised claim that its methods of genetically modifying food crops are 'specific, precise, and predictable'" is now broken (commoner 695). Even though it is possible to genetically alter, or manipulate a product to give it an advantaged trait, the future side effects may create dangerous prions, which will collapse the DNA of its victim. Scientists are aware that the foundation of their work is invalid and that they could cause people to suffer or die in the future, yet they continue to genetically engineer our food because it is profitable. The technological manipulation of food does not end with genetic engineering; the utility of food is also being manipulated.

"Why McDonalds Fries Taste So Good," is an Essay that Eric Schlosser wrote regarding the manipulation of the taste, color, and texture of our food. According to Schlosser, companies like McDonalds, who provide nourishment for millions of people every day, do not create the taste of the food, but instead buy it from the "flavor industry." They do this because "canning, freezing, and dehydrating techniques used in processing destroy most of the food's flavor" (Schlosser 309). The flavor business takes place in a factory where scientist called Flavorists mix chemicals together for the purpose of creating new flavors to sell to the highest bidders. Coloring food is another important job of the Flavorists, and sometimes the method of creating these colors becomes controversial. To produce the color pink they ground a bug called the "Dactylopius Coccus Costa" into a pigment which "violates religious dietary restrictions, [and] may cause allergic reactions" (Schlosser 316). The side affects of these chemical concoctions are unknown and using them to manipulate the taste, color, and texture of our food may be dangerous. Human health is being risked once again. So far, we have revealed two ways that scientist can legally endanger human health, but there is one new technology that may benefit human health; except its illegal!

In "Of Clones and Clowns," Robert A. Weinberg discusses the importance of cloning and the threat against its progress. Ironically, unlike the other two authors, he supports manipulators. However, the manipulators Weinberg supports are scientists; not "clowns". Weinberg describes these clowns as "those who think making money, lots of it, is more important than doing serious science" (720). "The cloning circus opened soon after Wilmut, a careful and well-respected scientist, reported his success with Dolly" (Weinberg 720). The "Dolly" he is referring to was a sheep that was successfully cloned in 1997. Evidently, after this sheep was cloned, the money-crazed clowns decided to compete in the race to master the science of cloning. Instead of participating in the "peer-review process," which is vital to the validity and progress of cloning, they turned a cold shoulder to the scientific community and went straight to the press with their results (Weinburg 720). The information the clowns gave the mainstream media caused the science of cloning to look corrupt and unethical. One of the clowns, Ben-Abraham, "told a German magazine Der Spiegel, 'We were all created by the Almighty, but now we will become the creators'" (Weinberg 720). Weinberg, a scientist who has made some of the most influential advances in the treatment of cancer, thinks that testing medications on clones may be the way to find the cure. Because these clowns were manipulating technology, and giving the science of cloning a bad reputation, George Bush, "yielding to the pressure of religious conservatives," banned Cloning in the United States (Weinberg 722). Without identical subjects to test new treatments on, it will be very difficult now to cure cancer and allow humans to experience life without this fatal disease.

Emily Marin's essay, "The Egg and the Sperm: How Science Has Constructed a Romance based on Stereotypical Male-Female Roles," deals with a different type of scientific manipulation. This time instead of doing something that can harm human health for the purpose of making money, male Scientists are instead manipulating the truth about the roles of the egg and the sperm. Since Scientist are mostly male they get to dictate what goes into the text books and since they are sexist, they make female organs look wasteful while male organs are productive (Martin 672). Martin states," the egg is seen as large and passive. It does not move or journey, but passively 'is transported,' is 'swept,' or even 'drifts' along the fallopian tube. In utter contrast, sperm are small, 'streamlined,' and invariably active (673). She goes on to explain how new research continues to be sexist. She thinks that the social implication make woman feel inferior to men and negatively affect their self-esteem. She wants the information to be fair and balanced so that both the sperm and the egg are considered equal.

Although these four articles deal with different aspects of science they all share the theme of scientific manipulation, and they all affect our experience as human beings. Without the ability to test new drugs on clones, millions more may die of cancer. If genetic engineering continues to alter our food, our DNA may give way, and we will die out. The Flavorists work may have long-term side effects that can harm us or tempt us to eat food that lacks nourishment. Will modeling technology continue to affect the real world? What new dangers may be on the horizon, and how will the current ones play out?

Writing Feedback / 'Do not stop questioning' - essay regarding my 3 core traits [3]

This is an essay i wrote regarding my 3 core traits for English 1a. Can someone edit it(by that i mean check for missing or incorrect commas, bad structure, etc) for me please? Did i do the cicero quote right? I don't know if that ~ is necessary or not.

"Everyone has the obligation to ponder well his own specific traits of character. He must also regulate them adequately and not wonder whether someone else's traits might suit him better. The more definitely his own a man's character is, the better it fits him." ~Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC). Pondering the core traits of my character, or personality, allows me to reflect myself accurately, through my writings. Three traits cannot fully define me, but they will reveal much about me. The shyness within me has prevented me from making friends easily, which over time has caused me to be comfortable alone. My inquisitive nature allows me to think about things from a different, and sometimes deeper prospective than most people. Patience has enabled me to endure challenging times and be successful. Shyness, inquisitiveness, and patience combined, form the three core traits of my personality.

Shyness is defined as a feeling of insecurity or awkwardness that certain people experience while being among others. This trait for me has dwindled over time, but has had a permanent effect on who I am. The trait itself was nurtured not natured, because I did not begin life as a shy person. I was very secure and social until I realized that I had a speech problem. My in-ability to pronounce words with the letter "R" correctly became an issue when one of my closest friends, Matt, was celebrating his 10th birthday. I remember walking into his house where all the rest of our friends from school were talking. I saw his little sister playing with toys in the living room and I decided to make a joke about Barney. One of guys I did not know very well said "yah, if only it was called bahny, you talk funny" he chuckled. That was the first time anyone ever told me that I "talked funny." It shocked me and it shocked some of my friends in the room as well, because in all the years they had known me, they never realized that I had a speech impediment, which seemed unlikely considering it was so prevalent. From that point on, they never fully listened to what I said, because they were focused on how funny it was when I said things incorrectly.

My peers in middle school would constantly ask me to repeat a word that I said wrong. Over time, this made me a very insecure person and I tried my best to either avoid saying a word that forced me to pronounce the letter R or just not speak at all. My parents hired a speech teacher who told me that I got it from my mom who was from the east coast and it could be fixed with practice. Eventually the speech problem was fixed, but the shyness remained. I moved from Chicago to Texas and made friends with the kids in my neighborhood. I felt comfortable around them, but once I was exposed to their friends, I felt awkward, and could not think of what to say in a group conversation, so I usually said nothing. I used to wonder whether someone else's personality traits might suit me better and I would try to mimic them. However, just as Cicero stated, it was not until I really thought about who I am deep down, that I was able to communicate effectively with people.

Albert Einstein once said in a famous quote, "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality." The inquisitive attribute of my personality has given me a wealth of knowledge that I would have never gained without questioning and searching for answers. Most children constantly ask questions, but not many continue to ask endless questions throughout their life and search for the answers to them. My inquisitive trait found fulfillment when I discovered online debate forums. I sometimes spend several hours a week debating everything including religion, philosophy, current events, history, science, technology, politics, and even the hypothetical.

One of the most enthralling debates I have been involved with was the famous question "Can God create an object so heavy that he cannot lift it?" An atheist who uses this question like a bible posted a thread on it in an attempt to prove that the Christian God cannot exist. Being inquisitive, I took up the challenge.. The first thing I questioned was the use of his dictionary definition of omnipotence. Since it was a debate about the Christian God, the only acceptable definition had to come from the bible. Using the internet as a tool, I found several verses and discovered that the bible defined Gods omnipotence by the power to do all things that are logically possible as long as they do not contradict his nature. God's nature is perfect and logical meaning that he cannot fail/err, sin, or do something illogical or impossible. I concluded by saying that God can remain omnipotent according the biblical definition, since creating a rock you cannot lift is logically impossible. He responded by saying that it is logically possible, because he can do it. He said, "Give me some rocks and some super glue and about 2 hours." I responded back by saying that our nature and Gods nature are different. We as humans have the ability to fail and God does not. An omnipotent being cannot fail. He followed up with the logical argument that if non-failure is a part of The Christian Gods nature, than if it is possible for the Christian God to Fail, its existence is impossible. The Christian God is forced to fail when its success at something is defined by its failure at something else. Therefore, the Christian God, bound to the attribute of non-failure, cannot exist, because it is forced to fail during the scenario in which Gods success at creating an object it cannot lift is defined by its failure at being able to lift the object. I won the debate by posting that you cannot fail at the impossible. I can't fail at becoming a frog, because it is not possible for me to do so. No amount of power will allow this. It is not a failure, because success and failure are not attributes of the impossible. In order for something to be a success or failure, it must at least be possible. Moreover, what is possible or impossible for us and God, are not the same. It's comparing apples and oranges. It is like saying, "Tim fails at creating the universe". No, I don't, and I don't succeed either. I cannot fail or succeed, because it is not possible for me -- it is not within my nature. Since one cannot fail to do what is impossible, God cannot fail or succeed at creating an object that it cannot lift, because it is impossible for him, according to his nature.

Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness is a trait I have always had. My patience was tested during Christmas break last year. I wanted to get a Nintendo Wii, so that I would have something to do with my older brother Joe when he came out for the holidays. The problem was that I was not the only one wanting this new game system. It was the most in demand product of the season, and the only way to obtain one was to wait in a line in front of a store over night. I thought this task would be easy, since I had the handheld version of the system, the Nintendo DS, to keep my entertained. I started camping out at midnight the day of the launch where several people were already waiting in line. Every hour after that at least four more people showed up. The first few hours went by quickly, but once the batteries died on my handheld system I had nothing to do. I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, because I was used to the desert being warm, but that night happened to be very cold. I did not have a chair to sit on either, so I had to stand for eight straight hours in the freezing cold. I felt like a penguin! The risk of waiting was due to the possibility that the shipment of Wii's did not arrive, or they only received a small amount meaning that only the people in front of me would receive one. The closer it got until store opening, or eight o' clock, the slower time went. Finally, at nine o' clock, the employees came outside and handed out tickets to the first 20 people in line. Being the sixth person in line, I got a ticket and felt relief. The last hour, however, was the most difficult to endure, but when Target opened their doors I waddled to electronics to purchase the Wii, because I was too numb to walk correctly. My patience that night really paid off, because my brother and I enjoyed playing the game system over the long holiday break.

These three core traits will most likely stay with me for the rest of my life. I will never be as shy as I once was, but I will always be a little reserved. Asking questions is a hobby for me and I will continue to seek the truth in life. My inquisitive trait has also caused me to love college and have a passion for learning. Patience does not only help me wait in lines, but it also allows me to have long lasting friendships. Everyone has bad days, and if you can restrain your anger on those days, you will not hurt people who are close to you. If you can endure their bad days by avoiding engaging in arguments they will appreciate you more on the good days.