Undergraduate / 'I want to major in Biochemistry/Biology' - Why are you applying? [4]

I am applying to Rice University and Johns Hopkins University. They both have a prompt regarding my selected major (as mentioned in the title.)

Please review my response. I would really appreciate it! :)

Saying that I want to major in Biochemistry/Biology just because it is a science class and that it will help me for medical school is an understatement. In fact, it is not true at all. Yes, majoring in a science and having a BS is a plus for med school, but that means that I could just major in any science and it would suffice. But to the contrary, I have chosen to major in Biochemistry for a totally different reason.

In my 4 years of High School, AP Biology was and still is my favorite class. I always loved science and Biology is my strong suite. Out of all the subjects taught in AP Biology, I was eager to learn about the cell, its components, and how they function; I was and still am intrigued. Even though I the fundamentals and most of the details of the cell, I wanted to know more: the Cell Cycle, potassium pump, DNA, protein synthesis, mitochondrion, polysaccharides, the list goes on and on. But what flipped the switch and lighted my eyes up was DNA. Everything about it seemed to tickle my mind and spark questions; questions that I want answered.

That's why I want to major in Biochemistry.

Undergraduate / 'I am a vibrant figure' - Why are you applying to this college? [5]

I am applying to several colleges and a few of them have the same essay prompt, "In less than 500/750 words, Why are you applying to this college?" Well, I have formulated an essay, in my own words, from an essay I found on the internet. I just want to know, is this a good essay? Will it be considered as plagiarism? What can I change?

Here it is:

I am a vibrant figure, often seen helping the elderly cross the road and sculpting ice. I was the one who struck two flint stones and discovered fire; the cavemen were my spying neighbors. I served as a guide for Moses and the Israelites during the Exodus. I was a key asset amongst the 20th Maine Volunteer Infantry Regiment at Little Round top. Billy the Kid was my partner in crime; Billie Jean is my lover. I negotiated peace treaties in the UN Security Council, I write award-winning tunes, and I manage my time efficiently.

All the women around me turn their heads towards me the moment I touch my guitar. I can complete the Indy 500 in less than 200 laps, and Michael Shoemaker took lessons from me. I cook a mean bowl of ramyen that will leave you wanting for more for more over a week. I am a professional in bowling and a veteran of love.

Wielding only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly quenched a severe drought and famine incident in Chad. I played with the Beatles, The Doors, Aerosmith, and Alter Bridge. I was scouted by Manchester United, and I have been interviewed by many news stations, primarily CNN. I enjoy parkour: the city is my playground. On Fridays, after school, I repair guitars free of charge.

I am a concrete comedian and an abstract analyst. I donate blood every other week. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Last year I participated in the Tour De France. Children trust me.

I can soccer balls at small moving objects with great accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Crime and Punishment, Oliver Twist, and the Odyssey in one day and still had time to reorganize my living room that evening. I can pinpoint the exact location of an item in the Commissary. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep standing up. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

My bills are all paid, a year in advance. On weekends, to let off steam, I play my guitar for over twelve hours; the sun stops to watch me rock out. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have won many times on Survivor and got first place in spelling bees in the Forbidden City. I have played as Macbeth; I have performed at the '99 Woodstock; and I witnessed Elvis leave the building.

But something was missing: I have not yet gone to college.

(438 words)