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Posts by kirilenko
Joined: Nov 6, 2011
Last Post: Nov 7, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 5
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kirilenko   
Nov 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay - do you think clothes communicate about culture and weather? [4]

It is farily good essay ,but I see that sometimes the way you used comma are not properly. You should check how exactly use the comma. I wanna change somethings for you. For example you could say "In addition, It also possible to say that climate are close related to the way people wearing clothes. For instance most people put on less clothes in summer as opposed to winter. Futhermore, many famous fashion firms base on season to change their fasionable styles and store a bulk of new clothes in inventory".
kirilenko   
Nov 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / The Old & New Testament - Compare/contrast Paragraph [3]

I got a different way for your writting. You should write like this : "The bible, although one book, was divided in two parts:the old testament and the new testament. While the fomer tells us about the beginning of the world and the creation of mankind, the later shows us about how we should live our lives today and how this world will come to an end".
kirilenko   
Nov 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / receive the best direction and education from their parents as well as teachers [5]

Parents have a huge impact on children whole life and sometimes almost how destiny of a child is for. However, from my point of view, I am not convinced that they are always the best teacher.

First of all, we can see clearly that parents may be too close to their children emotionally. For example, they may limit a child's freedom in the name of safety. A school may want to take children camping, but a parent may be afraid of the child getting hurt.

Another problem is that some parents are not good. As a matter of fact, they abuse violence to have their child obey them and consider it as a quick effective way to educate their child. This kind of behavior has left children with many horrendous influences in their life, and it should be interfered by social organizations.

the final reason deserved some words here is that not only parents but also the others such as teachers and probably famous person may be regarded as a good mirror for children to look up. They may give a child different perspectives of social life and sometimes become a helpful motivation for children to strive.

In fact, a student who has friends of variety races at school may find that his parents have narrower views.
Above all considered, It is undeniable the precious valuation of parents. Yet, in order to perfect future society and create useful civil, a child must receive the best direction and education from their parents as well as teachers.

Hi all, my name is Nam, I wrote this essay, but I am not confident enough for my vocabulary as well as my grammar. Some ones please check it for me and may add some ideas. Thanks for helping me, and I looking forward to repay and discuss with you guys for sometimes!! :)
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