Anuar KZ
Nov 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'dominance of one sex over another on different faculties' Cambridge Task [3]
Thanks for your corrections=)
Thanks for your corrections=)
Anuar KZ
Nov 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'dominance of one sex over another on different faculties' Cambridge Task [3]
It is a well known fact there is a dominance of one sex over another on different faculties.
Should universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject? How it can influence the progress in study? Would it be more a benefit or a hindrance? All these questions will be discussed in the following essay.
On the one hand, nowadays there is a great variety of subjects to study, and thus, students have a chance to make their choice out of a big amount of available professions. Subjects are divided into humanitarian and technical ones. For this reason, the majority of female students choose humanitarian disciplines, whereas male students choose technical ones. But there are some exceptions when women and men choose different disciplines. But everything depends on student's skills for his chosen future profession. So this is the reason why it is impossible to accept equal numbers of different genders students. It seems to be difficult to imagine women working with gadgets like computer chips, dangerous chemical substances, engineer drawings and et cetera.
On the other hand, the question under discussion whether universities should accept equal number of boys and girls in every subject is still a disputable one. Undoubtedly, one of the advantages of these criteria is that the principle of justice and gender equality will be kept. Moreover, it will be more exciting for the youth to study and enjoy their time together. What is more, males can help females understand technical subjects, and vice versa girls help with humanitarian ones. Additionally, there will be a friendly team spirit and a nice supporting atmosphere between peers.
In conclusion, I think it is not a good idea to accept equal numbers of students because they will be more attracted by each other than by studies. Young people should be free to make their own choice and first of all try to find the proper profession for them to get a success in future career beneficial for their country and well-being.
Written by me, with teacher's corrections.
It is a well known fact there is a dominance of one sex over another on different faculties.
Should universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject? How it can influence the progress in study? Would it be more a benefit or a hindrance? All these questions will be discussed in the following essay.
On the one hand, nowadays there is a great variety of subjects to study, and thus, students have a chance to make their choice out of a big amount of available professions. Subjects are divided into humanitarian and technical ones. For this reason, the majority of female students choose humanitarian disciplines, whereas male students choose technical ones. But there are some exceptions when women and men choose different disciplines. But everything depends on student's skills for his chosen future profession. So this is the reason why it is impossible to accept equal numbers of different genders students. It seems to be difficult to imagine women working with gadgets like computer chips, dangerous chemical substances, engineer drawings and et cetera.
On the other hand, the question under discussion whether universities should accept equal number of boys and girls in every subject is still a disputable one. Undoubtedly, one of the advantages of these criteria is that the principle of justice and gender equality will be kept. Moreover, it will be more exciting for the youth to study and enjoy their time together. What is more, males can help females understand technical subjects, and vice versa girls help with humanitarian ones. Additionally, there will be a friendly team spirit and a nice supporting atmosphere between peers.
In conclusion, I think it is not a good idea to accept equal numbers of students because they will be more attracted by each other than by studies. Young people should be free to make their own choice and first of all try to find the proper profession for them to get a success in future career beneficial for their country and well-being.
Written by me, with teacher's corrections.
Anuar KZ
Nov 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Life without such little creatures as pets' - IELTS [3]
Thank you for correction.
Thank you for correction.
Anuar KZ
Nov 10, 2011
Undergraduate / My autistic sister - majored in unafraid [3]
Oh... I don't even know you. But this essay is great, and it is not just essay it is a story. It is so brave that you help to your sister.
Oh... I don't even know you. But this essay is great, and it is not just essay it is a story. It is so brave that you help to your sister.
Anuar KZ
Nov 10, 2011
Undergraduate / 'BOOM' - Essay about a revolution: commonapp essay [5]
This title is very exciting, what is more i think that you can write a whole book with the introduction like this, good job.=)
This title is very exciting, what is more i think that you can write a whole book with the introduction like this, good job.=)
Anuar KZ
Nov 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Life without such little creatures as pets' - IELTS [3]
Too much attention is paid and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving.
It is absolutely impossible to imagine our life without such little creatures as pets. Are they not our "little brothers"? In different countries people keep various kinds of animals like rabbits, parrots, dogs, cats, even reptiles or cockroaches. But sometimes this hobby may cost a lot. If too much money is spent on pets, many people throughout the world will be dying from starvation. For example, in many rich countries domestic animals are given better food to eat than poor people.
First of all, dogs for example are very helpful for people. They can help the blind as guide-dogs. Furthermore, pets are very good friends for lonely men, and they keep affection and loyalty to their owners throughout their life. There are so many cases when the pets were dying on their owner's graves. Additionally, "little brothers" are so friendly, gay and joyful that so many people treat them like children. In addition pets can help adults and children relate to animals and nature more. On the one hand, having domestic animals is not as bad as it seems to be. Keeping pets is of great benefit for everybody.
But on the other hand, some people spend too much money on pets than it is necessary. They purchase special clothes, even jewelry and toys for adored creatures. They feed them with delicates sometimes unaffordable for ordinary people. In contrast, there are so many people dying every day from starvation in the world. What can be done to prevent them from passing away? The best idea is to inform the humanity about the existing situation. We shall be able to find the way out only together.
In conclusion, we should take care about our "little brothers" because when we take care about the wild we take care about ourselves. The humanity is responsible for safe and successful future of the next generation.
written by me with corrections of my teacher
Too much attention is paid and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving.
It is absolutely impossible to imagine our life without such little creatures as pets. Are they not our "little brothers"? In different countries people keep various kinds of animals like rabbits, parrots, dogs, cats, even reptiles or cockroaches. But sometimes this hobby may cost a lot. If too much money is spent on pets, many people throughout the world will be dying from starvation. For example, in many rich countries domestic animals are given better food to eat than poor people.
First of all, dogs for example are very helpful for people. They can help the blind as guide-dogs. Furthermore, pets are very good friends for lonely men, and they keep affection and loyalty to their owners throughout their life. There are so many cases when the pets were dying on their owner's graves. Additionally, "little brothers" are so friendly, gay and joyful that so many people treat them like children. In addition pets can help adults and children relate to animals and nature more. On the one hand, having domestic animals is not as bad as it seems to be. Keeping pets is of great benefit for everybody.
But on the other hand, some people spend too much money on pets than it is necessary. They purchase special clothes, even jewelry and toys for adored creatures. They feed them with delicates sometimes unaffordable for ordinary people. In contrast, there are so many people dying every day from starvation in the world. What can be done to prevent them from passing away? The best idea is to inform the humanity about the existing situation. We shall be able to find the way out only together.
In conclusion, we should take care about our "little brothers" because when we take care about the wild we take care about ourselves. The humanity is responsible for safe and successful future of the next generation.
written by me with corrections of my teacher
