Undergraduate / 'unnatural for good things to come to those who wait' - UT AdMISSION [5]

What does this have to do with you? Relate it back to your life, community or whatever. A personal statement is for them to get to know you more and for them to know more than your grades, not just quotes.

Undergraduate / 'the world of science leading me to the studies of Chemistry and Physics' - UC 1 [2]

A white building appeared before my sight while I was sitting beside my mother in the car. I was already close to my destination and the feelings of insecurity overwhelmed my mind. It was my first time attending a catholic school, which is very well known in my state, Chiapas,which is very known in my state . Most students that attend are from wealthy families because of the high tutiontuition . But as every other parentjust like most parents , my mom wanted the best education I could have, even if she had to overworkwork extremely hard to achieve it. As soon as I met my fellow classmates the difference of status and thinking was wide. Most were inheriting their parents' business, while the rest planned to dedicate their life to God. I found myself in the middle and thought will I pursue the same path by inheriting my mother' s business or become a nun? The idea disturbed me (what idea disturbed you?) because it was not something I really wanted to dedicate myself to, but I did not have another idea to succeed. God was always discussed in class and it was very interesting the amount of information provided for us was very interesting , but it did not convince me to believe in it. I wanted provesproof , a sign, something to answer my doubts of this widely known? and blessing person. The answers were scarce and doubtable, which lead me to disregard the idea of becoming a nun. As soon as I entered my next class, an awkward sensation was spread throught the room. Most students' faceial expressed how uncomfortable they were, while others began to criticize the class before it had even begun. I had asked myself what awful class could it be to make my classmates irritated? It was indeedBiology, the study of life. The talks of the evolution theory, cellular respiration, photosynthesis created a big impact in my views of life. It had answers I havehad been looking for , questions that did not passed my mind, facts that seem so insignificant but were so complex processesI don't understand that part .It enriched my knowledge in extended subjects from ecology to a very tiny aerobic cell. I have finally found something that estimulated my desire to achieve. I crave an insight into the world of science leading me to the studies of Chemistry and Physics. Since then my dream is to further my studies in the area of science that may bring me closer or further to God.

Undergraduate / 'money was a very sensitive topic to my parents' -how my world has shaped your dreams [2]

You never described your dreams and aspirations. You focused on your family and what they have taught you. What does their teaching you independence, brought you? How have you cultivated their teachings into who you are and what you want to become.

Undergraduate / The Answers I Will Never Find- Additional Essay/Info [5]

Your essay is really well-written. The events of 9/11 are really controversial, and your essay will be unique. Great JOB!

Undergraduate / UC prompt 2- "what sets me apart" [3]

It was one suicide, after another and another (EXPLAIN. what are suicides? it sounds like people were killing themselves over and over but I guess you're talking about basketball suicides? . Basketball tryouts had just begun and I was learning that making the team wouldn't be as easy as I had originally thought. Though I was overjoyed of not being cut like many other novice players, I still felt out of place. The other boys were tall, fast, and strong, while I was among the shortest and least athletic of the group. Never having tried out or played a sport in my life, this would be as new to me as it was challenging.new to me, as well as challenging.

As each day of tryouts passed, the practices became more intimidating. My confidence began to be conflicted by thoughts like, "Am I tall enough" and "Am I strong enough?" In the midst of practices my nerves would subdue me from divorcing(seems like more a thesaurus word and not you talking) those negative thoughts and allow me to break out. But then I reminisced on why I was so determined to make the team (explain what you were reminiscing about. Why did you want to make the team. EXPLAINNNN) . I let my passion fuel me through every stride and give me confidence when facing the bigger and the faster. I finished those weeks of tryouts after playing like I had nothing to lose and working on my skills independently a few hours a day. I made sure that I was the person that would decide if I was to be selected or not.

Looking back, I feel overwhelmed with pride on how I overcame the many adversities before me. Those weeks I learned that nothing comes easy, but with hard work all things are possible. Imagine if we lived our lives without motivation, passion, or drive, where would we be? There would be no above average people, society would be at a standstill in terms of progression, and the world would be without leaders.

In retrospect this experience has shown me that life still holds many challenges for me that will not be easily overcome, but it has also given me great insight on the amount of hard work needed to succeed in life. My passion, willpower, and hard work were key to my success. My want to be great at my craft and in life is what sets me apart. Give an actual story. What the coach has said? what your teammates said? you sweating. GIVE SOME DETAILS.

Undergraduate / 'you don't want to be late for your first day' - UC PROMPT1 [6]

In the beginning, your writing goes from past tense then to present tense. Might want to change it to "I suddenly rememberED"