Undergraduate / 'Global Concerns is an important part' - UC Essay #2 [2]

Here's my second UC essay!
I'm kind of scared that this essay overlaps a little with the other UC Essay (which I have posted in another thread), so let me know what you think!

Thanks for any feedback
Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

It was silent as the entire committee watched the video of children, some only four years old, being dragged into prostitution and child soldiers being forced to murder their own parents. Only fourteen years old in my first Model United Nations conference, I was haunted by these images for months. We listened to the sounds of mothers crying and children screaming when suddenly the piercing lunch bell rang, hurtling us back into reality. The intensity of the situation in the short documentary made it difficult for me to forget the video and simply go to lunch. I had proposed that my caucus group stay behind to continue revising our resolutions. Twenty-seven of the thirty delegates impatiently scrambled to leave and meet their friends, laughing and chatting as they exited the room. As they left, I felt incredibly disappointed that the delegates did not feel the same concern. I stayed to revise the resolutions. At the end of the conference, I took all the discarded resolutions and promised myself to use them productively.

For weeks after the conference, the topics continued to linger in my mind. I was still enthusiastic. I knew that if I had a group of avid supporters, something could be done. Instead of confining my passion to mock debates, I took it to a new level. I needed to share my idea with more people so I formed the school organization, Global Concerns. The aim of the organization was to raise awareness about important global issues, ease the struggle for families unable to obtain basic necessities, and support school-age children lacking educational opportunities and school supplies around the world.

Starting the organization was difficult. Counselors and friends discouraged me. However, I knew that with passion and drive, I could do any necessary research and surpass my own expectations. Time and effort, to me, were not obstacles. I spent the entire summer formulating a strategic plan. When fall came, my counselor refused my proposal. I spent hours explaining my organization and its mission statement until she gave in. However, I had to collaborate with another new club with similar goals. I agreed.

After further research into international foundations, I was able to lead the organization in raising funds for the Tabitha Foundation to build a well to support fresh water for over twelve families in Cambodia, the Christina Noble Fund for children in Vietnam and Mongolia, and for typhoon victims Haiti. The club was actively engaged in breaking cultural barriers through activities such as exchanging mail with German students and coordinating a literacy drive to aid schools in third world countries. In the end, I was able to bridge diverse people together.

From start to finish, Global Concerns is an important part of who I am. I found strength in setting my mind to work with others in a shared mission. Through these obstacles and successes, I found that the best results come from the effort of willing people who take initiative and persevere. I hope to do more of this work in the future, despite any circumstances and hardships that may be in the way.

Undergraduate / 'I reinforced my values' - The world I come from - UC essay [3]

This is my UC Essay for Prompt 1. Please let me know if there are any grammar mistakes or if this doesn't properly answer the prompt!

Thanks :)

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

More than a decade ago my world turned upside down when my doctor had placed the wrong size tubes in my eardrums during the surgery, leaving permanent holes in my eardrums. The ramifications were monumental. I have to wear earplugs in/into/during every shower. I can only watch others at swimming parties. While the shadow of one careless mistake has continued to pop up in my life, it has helped me to understand the values of being responsible and meticulous, and how they could impact a person's life. Not only have I upheld these values but also I have vowed to help and make positive changes on others in every opportunity.

Growing up with the importance of my upheld values, I have been trying to do all that is expected of me and beyond. I started off small to achieve my dreams of helping and changing people. I volunteered at Disability Rights California to carefully review arguments for the protection of her disabled clients' rights. With my key values in mind, I helped the attorney with people with developmental disabilities by assisting her in the preparation of various training sessions that defended their privileges and civil liberties.

I continued to apply my/these values throughout my high school career. As the founder of Global Concerns club and the treasurer of American Red Cross, I meticulously researched real world issues and directed fundraising drives. I helped to raise and donate thousands of dollars to charities such as Tabitha Organization and DevelopAfrica. Money raised was used to build a well in a neighborhood of Cambodia, where people had no other source to clean water. Donations also helped typhoon victims in Taiwan and students in Africa. With the aspirations from my childhood, I felt my dreams to benefit others were well fulfilled in real life during my above leadership positions.

I reinforced my values as my experience grows. My dream values about responsibility and meticulousness are fully reflected in my recent summer intern job at Amritt Ventures. I was asked to research on doing business in China and to create a report which would affect the strategy of the company's advisory service in that aspect. It was all new to me and I was overwhelmed by the scope and deadline. This was the first time I felt my work was directly responsible for an organization. However my revered and ingrained values from childhood motivated me to fulfill my responsibility meticulously. I worked numerous late nights, surfed countless websites and gathered all related information: local business etiquette, practices, competition, consumer trends, relationships establishment, investment models, etc. I helped the company and its clients achieving their goals.

With the key values of responsibility, meticulousness and helping people instilled in me at a young age through the doctor's small mistake that left a great impact on me, I have applied and will continue to apply these values as inspiration towards reaching my dream of advocating and helping others.