Scholarship / 'conscientious, articulate, motivated' -educational aspirations + future career goals [3]

Education to me is extremely important, and is very important to stay committed to it. When I put my mind to something, I will never lose. My parents are relying on me to make them proud, but also I will someday have a family that relies on my success in my career choose. This being said, even though I have only a handful of months left in high school I'm dedicated myself to excel in all of my class by setting personal goals.

Some future goals that I've set for myself are to always be punctual in my college classes. It is in my nature to always be a little early. I will turn every assignment in on time and make sure that it is done to the best of my ability. I've found it helpful to try and learn the ways of every technologist that I have the opportunity to work with. I believe that in any field, even if one had the opportunity to work in that field for several lifetimes, there is always a way to be further educated. This is something that I will strive to accomplish throughout my career.

I'm an individual of high moral character. I'm conscientious, articulate, highly motivated. I'm a strong willed and determined individual that will accept nothing less than to do well in my schooling and future career. I believe these are all traits vital of a successful attorney. Having these traits will help me to accomplish my goals throughout my career. I know that in the long run this will be a rewarding job in which I get to help people on a daily basis but it will also help the people I love the most in life. I can't wait until the day when I become an attorney. Until then I will keep my positive attitude and always apply myself to the task at hand, knowing that all will end in success.

Undergraduate / 'Volunteering at Oxford Veternas Nursey Home' - An important event in my life [3]

I have countless events in my life that changed me significantly. Several was for the best, and several was for the worsts. There was one event that made an enormous impacted on my life. This event occurred last summer; when I got accepted to Ole Miss Apex Leadership Program. I was so amaze.

When I received my acceptive letter in the mail, I knew all of my hard work and dedication had finally payed off. I was the only student from my school to get accepted, and there were few others that hadapplied. I was so proud of myself.

The first day I arrived at Ole Miss I met so many wonderful people. I said to myself, "This the Universtity for me." This experience took me out of my comfort zone. I was getting involved in things that I never imagined I would ever get involved in, such as, scabbing (What is scabbing hunting?) hunting, dancing, and getting involved in obstacle courses. I enjoyed every minute of these experiences.

The one thing I enjoyed most was when I was given the opportunity to volunteer at Oxford Veterans Nursey Home. I felt so warm inside. Knowing how I was brightening up those people lives, who hadhelp fought for my country just by sitting and talking with them was a phenomenal experience.

In all honesty, this essay needs serious work. I'm not sure what you're doing with this essay--if you're using it for another college, it doesn't really make sense to talk about how you were accepted to another school. More importantly, you need to come up with something that ties it all together. This essay seems like a collection of anecdotes that doesn't really come together into a coherent story.