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Posts by adrig16
Joined: Nov 26, 2011
Last Post: Nov 26, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 6  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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adrig16   
Nov 26, 2011
Undergraduate / UC prompt 2 " Taking responsibility for your actions" [5]

Very good essay... i especially love the conclusion
i would recommend you eliminate this: My mother was/is "healthy as a horse".
and we do not need titles for the personal statements.
adrig16   
Nov 26, 2011
Undergraduate / First to go to college! uc prompt 1 [6]

Thank you very much i will expand!!

I remember sitting around the coffee table on a Monday morning, as my parents once again reminded my siblings and I of all the capabilities we possessed in order to succeed. I come from a Hispanic Culture where my parents never had the opportunity to go to college more so even graduate High school. Being the first to attend college is an honor and my parents have always been supportive. Regardless of the advantages my background lacks, I have come to conclusion that my world is full of opportunities and doorways leading towards success.

The idea of being the first one go to college always sparked a few insecurities, but I learned to surpass all the negativity. Bering the first to go to college meant overcoming many challenges, and I was always motivated to do so. In high school I decided to join a program called Project Grad, a college access program. This program helped enhance my daily dose of motivation I needed.

what i have so far!
adrig16   
Nov 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'why is learning important?' - University of Chicago--your own question [5]

your introduction is really good... however i think that indulging too many topics at once might take away the actual focus to the essay. fewer/brief but to the point topics might emphasize upon the fact that you have strong writing skills.
adrig16   
Nov 26, 2011
Undergraduate / First to go to college! uc prompt 1 [6]

Prompt 1:
describe the world you come from- for example community, family or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations!
*any help is appreciated, thank you!
this is only the introduction as im still working on it.

I remember sitting around the coffee table on a Monday morning, as my parents once again reminded my siblings and I of all the capabilities we possessed in order to succeed. I come from a Hispanic Culture where my parents never had the opportunity to go to college more so even graduate High school. Being the first to attend college is an honor and my parents have always been supportive. Regardless of the advantages my background might possess, I have come to conclusion that my world is full of full of opportunities and doorways leading towards success, however it is upon the individual to succeed.
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