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Posts by FYI
Joined: Nov 22, 2008
Last Post: Dec 12, 2008
Threads: 3
Posts: 22  


Displayed posts: 25
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FYI   
Dec 12, 2008
Undergraduate / Why the University of Chicago?2 para essays. [3]

"Well I am passionate about dance and community service, I do not mind learning new skills such as in fencing or bowling or being involved in expeditions and theatre."

It it not clear, you mean like "While I am passionate about dance..." or if they are two separate ideas, you should use but or and.

"What impress me most are the student welfare services. "

Fragment consideration :Just add some words (you know a complete subject-verb sentence) .. "The student welfare services impress me the most."

I guess that's it.

(:
FYI   
Dec 12, 2008
Scholarship / HEOP ESSAY SCHOLARSHIP [6]

Hey,

"circumstances" could be financial problems, someone close died, serious injury, you had to travel, and as shahindian2009 said, they should see and feel what you felt. Family problems is like the most affecting cause you have to deal with it everyday.

"historic disadvantage" should be a disadvantage or suffering. To have a good shot, you should have a strong piece discussing how did this "historic disadvantage" make you suffer or lose track.

I think this should be a good explanation for the prompt question (scholarship essay should be unusual I guess)

(:
FYI   
Dec 12, 2008
Undergraduate / "Born and raised in Abu Dhabi" - UC prompt 1 - Off topic?? Advice needed. [18]

The 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot said, "Only passions, great passions can elevate the soul to great things." Describe one of your passions and reflect on how it has contributed to your personal growth.

Could your family be your passion???
In other words, does the answer below answer this prompt???

Thanks.
FYI   
Dec 11, 2008
Undergraduate / the Singapore Youth Flying Club - college admission essay [6]

Well yeah, you gotta cut of some of the piece thus making it more "manageable" -if that's the right word- to be read by members. But don't worry, Moderators will read it but give em some time. (:
FYI   
Nov 27, 2008
Undergraduate / "Born and raised in Abu Dhabi" - UC prompt 1 - Off topic?? Advice needed. [18]

Could I use the same prompt to answer the following Essay question for another University(University of Southern California) :

Newton's First Law of Motion states that an object in motion tends to stay in motion in the same direction unless acted upon by an external force. Tell us about an external influence (a person, an event, etc.) that affected you and how it caused you to change direction.

What do you think?

Best Regards.
FYI   
Nov 26, 2008
Undergraduate / "The special interest group"; what do you think? - considering civil engineer B.S [12]

Could I use the prompt to answer the following essay (University of Illinois, at Urbana Champaign):

ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, write about how your personal or academic interests relate to your intellectual or professional goals.

(I'll edit some details for the word count)

If the prompt can't answer the question, how could I use the experience in the essay?

I hope my question made sense. What do you think?

Best regards.
FYI   
Nov 25, 2008
Undergraduate / "Born and raised in Abu Dhabi" - UC prompt 1 - Off topic?? Advice needed. [18]

Could I use the same prompt to answer the following Essay question for another University(University of Texas at Austin) :

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

OR Do I have to edit the first paragraph so the introduction of this prompt matches the essay question.

What do you think?

Best Regards.
FYI   
Nov 25, 2008
Undergraduate / "The special interest group"; what do you think? - considering civil engineer B.S [12]

Could I use the same prompt to answer the following Essay question for another University(University of Texas at Austin) :

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

What do you think?

Best Regards.
FYI   
Nov 24, 2008
Undergraduate / "The special interest group"; what do you think? - considering civil engineer B.S [12]

Thanks a lot for the tip,

In regard to the first sentence, I meant that the title of the group project(assignment) I had to do is "The special interest group". That is, "The special interest group" is the name of the project.

Any ideas on how to start the first sentence?
I edited the piece, what do you think? any grammatical errors?
Thanks
FYI   
Nov 23, 2008
Undergraduate / "The special interest group"; what do you think? - considering civil engineer B.S [12]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

"The special interest group", the title of the work material I had to submit as a final project for the 11th grade. Being the one in charge of the group was not an easy responsibility. I had to show full potential since I was also the one responsible of representing the group in front of the school principle. With this in mind, I knew there was no room for error.

As a matter of fact, I started my research by asking the first person who entered the room, my dad, about his field of interest. He smiled and asked me to follow him. I did not hesitate on going because I knew he was sure about it. He told me he wanted to introduce me to his workshop and office. I was so excited since I had no clue of what it looked like. Subsequent to our arrival, my eyes protruded from their sockets when I first saw that extraordinarily piece art on the wall. It was a building's three-dimensional CAD drawing. I started taking notes and pictures of everything I saw. The office was a blend of different fields ranging from architectural design to electrical drawings. The scene totally fascinated me.

Afterward, I arrived home, gathered the data I collected, and invited my group colleagues to my house. There, everyone started his work while I verified that everyone was on track. I knew that both team chemistry and potential were key elements in the success of any project. The day of the presentation came. I was a bit nervous yet proud of what I accomplished. Combining leadership and responsibility was not an easy position but I managed to be in a suitable figure for the presentation. Our teamwork was highly significant providing us with extra credit. Furthermore, the principle praised me for being a prospective partner.

This experience, coupled with the support of my parents, opened my eyes to a field I never thought was interesting and wide, civil engineering. This field has a fascinating balance between the certainty science and the uncertainty of the natural environment.

It enables you to be creative, curious, and scientifically logical. Consequently, I started researching and reading articles about this field, making it shape my dreams and person. For instance, I now know how skyscrapers built reach thousands of feet in the air, bridge suspension hangers support tons of cars and trucks, and water systems created support millions of city dwellers.

On the whole, I possess an earnest desire for higher college education in the field of civil engineering. My willingness to strive for education won't stop with bachelors. Engineering management would be my second step.
FYI   
Nov 22, 2008
Undergraduate / USC Short question - swimming activity [NEW]

Tell us about an activity that is important to you, and why.

To begin with, all students face a significant amount of stress due to various factors. Many aspects of life, as well as the stress that comes with it, can all impact the physical and emotional health of an individual. Therefore, everyone should have some ways to reduce stress and maintain good health and keep there sanity. For instance, swimming is a great aerobic exercise that is very useful in combating stress. Stress relief with swimming is a really wonderful way of relieving stress. It can be very relaxing when done at a slow pace, gliding through the water, and it can be a physical work-out when going full speed practicing the front crawl. As an illustration, the focus I put into swimming helps me unwind during a long day or after a final exam. Moreover, while swimming, I focus attention on my body and physical self which allows a break from my mind. This 'break' allows my mind to rest and to gain perspective. Sometimes the best way of solving a problem is to not think about it! Have you ever found it impossible to think of a word and no matter how hard you try you can't remember it? Ten minutes later when you're washing the car 'Bang' the word comes to you! Relieving stress with swimming has the same effect. By focusing on something other than our minds we allow clear thinking to arrive. The stressful situation becomes much more manageable once we have had a break. Furthermore, swimming also requires a lot of coordination and effort to stop ourselves from sinking. This effort and concentration means that you can't (even if you wanted to) think of anything else.
FYI   
Nov 22, 2008
Undergraduate / "Born and raised in Abu Dhabi" - UC prompt 1 - Off topic?? Advice needed. [18]

I was born and raised in Abu Dhabi, one of seven emirates that constitute the United Arab Emirates. The people's way of life in Abu Dhabi had been shaped by centuries of explicit efforts to tame a harsh environment, engage in trade, and most importantly, educate the young. Family plays a focal part in the social, political and economic interplay of the emirate, where children are provided with great opportunities to explore their interests.

"A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams." That was the welcome sign on the door of my home. My family is my compelling passion. My family consists of six members: My father, mother, three sisters, and I. To begin with, the seed only grows when it's watered and I believe that my home has been watered well. My parents accomplished their goals the hard way. They did not have the "perfect" environment or the opportunities. Hence, they accomplished what they did with years of personal effort and desire for a better future. For instance, my father was born and raised in the Middle East. His family had financial problems and this highly affected his trip to higher education in world class colleges. Although he didn't have the money or the critical advice from his parents, he was taught that nothing is impossible. In fact, his situation made his life a challenge worth both the effort and time. He studied hard in an American high school and earned good grades. Afterward, he planned and decided to travel to the United States of America for higher education. Subsequent to his arrival in Boston, he got a job and started applying to different colleges and universities. My father had big dreams and didn't accept working for a boss or anyone else. With this in mind, he got accepted in the Northeastern University, Boston, Massachusetts, USA. Thereupon, he earned his bachelor's degree in electrical engineering and his American citizenship. After ten years of work in the states, he decided to travel to the United Arab Emirates to run his own business. Finally, his dreams came true when he founded his own organization Nubla Engineering Services Co - L L C. With years of hard work, this organization now combines project management, technical feasibility studies, general contracting, MEP contracting, and general maintenance making it one of the most developing organizations and best reputation in the country.

At the same time, my mother had a great impact on me. She loved mathematics and worked hard to become a college professor. When she married my father, her dreams changed. Although she knew she could balance between both home and work, she sacrificed her job with no regrets. She used all her experience to raise me and my three sisters in the best manner. Furthermore, my mother's great interest and belief in education granted us a place in the top five percent in the school regarding the academic performance and volunteering works. She not only expected from us top potential but also made sure that we study and learn for our sake and not hers.

After all, my parents support, coupled with critical advice and influence, helped in the growth of my willingness to strive for the best grades and distinctions. Aiming to express my gratitude and appreciation to my family, I possess strong desire and ambition to earn superior degrees and merits.
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