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Posts by amer77
Joined: Dec 3, 2011
Last Post: Dec 30, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 6  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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amer77   
Dec 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Local & International news , which is more important ? [4]

' fastest growing nation in terms of economy' and I would rephrase the sentence 'a lot of countries are trading with it'. You can say China has a good trade balance with other countries. Great essay, good job!
amer77   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Enrichment program and 'unique' solution' - BU Supplement - Diversity [13]

First of all I like your essay it's succint and precise. It is an essay as mush as it is a critique. You might want to add a few lines to the last part though.

for example 'A diverse atmosphere and group of people will also generate ideas form different perspectives which is critical to business and solutions to problems.'
amer77   
Dec 12, 2011
Undergraduate / 'investment manager/analyst/banker', 'like my brother' - answers to Syracuse U [3]

Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
My professional goals and pure ambition influenced me to apply to Syracuse University. I am a motivated guy and I believe a Syracuse University will give me the opportunity to accomplish my future career goals. Whitman school of management will provide the skills I need in my future career as an investment manager/analyst/banker. I will move closer to NY which is considered the financial capital of the world.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

I dream of becoming more like my brother one day. Ever since childhood he excelled in academics and any scholarly pursuits. Now he is a successful man working at BoA which is a top auditing firm in the U.S. He is very ambitious, smart, matured and responsible as a person. Some of which attributes I strive to cultivate into my own life someday. One day I would like to become a matured, classy, smarter and more sophisticated man like my brother. Nevertheless I would say I am close.

I also aspire to be like venture capitalist and entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson and Warren Buffet. Being an adventurous and independent guy I would like to be like Sir Richard Branson as we share the similar personality traits.

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

I have had work experience in the dining halls of Ohio University. In the fall quarter of my sophomore year I worked as a server in the shively dining hall. I had the task of preparing sandwiches for over 400 student everyday. I was a hefty work. The working conditions wasn't always great, cleaning dishes, mopping floors in a hot sweaty kitchen which also had a weird smell of rotten food in the trash and the steam coming from the washing machines. I learnt to work and be a student at the same time. I learned to better manage my time, manage customers(mainly students) and. It was difficult but a job is a job and I adhered to the policies and my own principles to kept on working.

4.Our mission of Scholarship in Action, education for the world in the world, extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your interests, tell us what real-world experiences you might pursue during your education at Syracuse as part of this mission.

Upon enrollment in Syracuse I plan to be involved in Ballentine investment institute and study abroad. One thing I would like to continue in college in definitely investment research and market analysis so I would like to join the Ballentine investment institute. I would study abroad preferably in Beijing, China as I want to continue my Chinese language learning. I would also like join the center of excellence to develop environmental technology for a greener industry and work with JP Morgan to develop technology applications to businesses.
amer77   
Dec 9, 2011
Undergraduate / A Jungle of thought - UVA supplement [3]

Great essay. Great use of words. But maybe you should give an example of a specific daydream that was useful to you and encouraged you to stop and persue it. The administration at UVA would probably like that. But other than that great work.
amer77   
Dec 9, 2011
Undergraduate / 'About Korean Culture' - Common App [4]

great essay. Really shows the difference between cultures. Maye b you can build it a little more add another paragraph or add another example. But other than that good work.
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